Mother-daughter relationships are such complex ones. Such relationships are multidimensional in nature. Mothers often view their younger selves in their daughters while daughters view their older selves in their mothers. While there are some mother-daughter relationships are mostly positive with each party respecting each other for their aspirations, goals, and individual psychologies, there are other mother-daughter relationships which can be described at most, highly contentious. The mother-daughter relationships is often the MOST COMPLEX and/or OFTEN MOST REWARDING relationships a woman could have! Do you agree or disagree with this premise?
I do agree that mother-daughter relationships are extremely rewarding.
For myself as the daughter with my mother who is my best friend even though we are total opposites in every aspect. We agree, disagree but have an incredible bond with each other. As a mom, with my daughter, I also share a bond since I do see so much of myself in her. From her personality to likes and dislikes I understand her so well since she is a mini me. I do respect her, respect her opinions and give her the freedom to be herself while watching out for her as a parent. I have a special closeness with her that I cherish everyday.
I have to agree...Most often most complex and or often most rewarding" I have seen many mother daughter relationships struggle well into their adult years and it always hurt me to see something so beautiful treated with no respect from both ends. I am happy that my daughters and I have a wonderful relationship..The roles have changed and we accept them as they are..Respect is the most important to me..not the kind with a demanding " you see it my way"...but a loving respect, open to changes, realizing beneath the titles, we are humans with the same kind of needs and feelings as others. When both parties are "falling forward" giving one to another, then it can only be a good relationship.
Well that depends on the mother....
My mother had 2 daughters. Myself & my older sister by 3 years.
My sister was the "golden child" who could do no wrong & in whom my mother saw everything she did right, her hopes, her dreams, her aspirations, a life-long friend & more....
In me she saw everything she had done wrong in her life. She saw her failures, her troubles, her disappointments, and her misery. Nothing I ever did was good enough. "Why can't you be more like your sister" was said so frequently that I wanted to barf.
Today our relationship is distant at best. While I've forgiven her for not knowing any better when she was raising me, the things she said and did to me won't allow me to forget. She is still far closer to my older sister. They have that "mother-daughter" relationship & bond you speak of.
I only know that bond through having my own children. I treat all of my children like the wonderful gifts they are. I do not single out one over the other for harsher punishment or greater reward. While I do treat them as individuals, I also make sure that they each are treated in an equal way when it comes to the distribution of love, praise, attention, affection, and so forth.
I would never do to my children what was done to me.
On the same note, I do not mistake my relationship with my daughters (or sons) as a friendship either. I am their mother. They have enough friends, they need a parent too.
by lbizzy 7 years ago
WHAT DO YOU THINK TELL ME
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