Why most mothers prefer sons than daughters?
Mothers are more appreciated when their first born is a boy and prefer boys to girls, the favorite child is often the boy, can this affect children when older?
I've always thought it was fathers who wanted their first born to be a boy. It was seen as a guarantee his family name would be passed on.
Maybe there is something subliminal that makes some women desire to have boys over girls. Either they see girls as (emotionally more challenging) to deal with compared to boys or (they worry) about how to prepare them to deal with a variety of things such as periods, birth control, sexual harassment, and a world that for the most part still treats girls and women as second class citizens.
Another group of women I suspect believe boys worship their mothers and girls will be more confrontational. Still I know of girls and mothers who are (best friends) in ways no mother could be with a son.
Girls are more of a worry than boys when looking at the life socially good points made here. Thanks for taking part in this Q&A
SAME THING I SAID IN MY ANSWERS! GREAT MINDS INDEED THINK ALIKE!
SAID THE SAME THING IN MY ANSWER. GREAT MINDS INDEED THINK ALIKE!
It's so funny you just asked this question. My husband and I were just talking about this. I definitely prefer boys over girls, but I have an odd reason. I'm just not a girly girl and don't think I'll know how to handle makeup, fashion, dolls, etc.
I want kids that will climb trees, digg for worms, roll in the mud and wrestle. That's how I grew up and that's what I'm comfortable with. I won't know what to do with nice dresses and kids that want to stay clean. I have to beautiful boy labs right now that are definitely all boy and I'm loving it!
I want boys.
I guess I am not most mothers, as I cherish both my son and daughter the same and love their differences. When pregnant, I did not want for one particular sex in a baby over the other, but that the child be a healthy child, is what I prayed and God is good to have blessed with me with my firstborn, being a beautiful daughter and then five years later a beautiful baby boy. If a mother, especially, thinks along these lines, as you have stated in your question, then, yes, it will be damaging to the other child, which is very sad that anyone would have that mindset in lieu of loving each child for who they are and not loving them more because of what sex they happen to be. Yes, most men do what a son to carry on the family name, but I know they should not love or prefer the other child any less!
Well said Faith Reaper you certainly don't mind the gender of the baby and that is rare to find in many cultures
Oh, wow, thank you so much dear Devika, for choosing my answer! I appreciate it very much. Hugs and blessings, Faith Reaper
Not MOST mothers but SOME mothers. There are mothers who prefer sons because sons AREN'T as threatening to the feminine dynamic as daughters would be. There are mothers who are IN COMPETITION w/ their daughters. They view their daughters as the better &/or younger version of themselves. They see in their daughters never had &/or lost opportunities. This becomes more evident as daughters enter adolescence.
Such mothers are more comfortable with sons as they will never compete w/their mothers. They see sons as more soothing psychologically, even psychically. There ISN'T the feminine mano o mano that is oftentimes experienced in the mother-daughter relationships. These mothers of sons have the female dominance of the household & DON'T have to vie w/their sons for such dominance as they would if they had daughters.
Some mothers see daughters as quite problematic because the daughters will probably surpass & eventually gain some type of dominance, even preeminence in the family & life dynamic, particularly as the mother becomes older. Remember, the daughter is view as the younger/better version of the mother & some mothers view this very negatively w/ some becoming highly soul devouring, even destructive in the dealings w/ their daughters in order to keep the daughters "in their place" which is ALWAYS SUBORDINATE to their mothers.
Also, there are mothers who view their sons as manageable. They contend that sons are not melodramatic as daughters are. They maintain the sons are more stable & consistent in their wants & desires. They even assert that sons are more forthright, saying what they mean. They assert that daughters as girls/women can be quite erratic, even unstable. They may even contend that daughters can be quite unmanageable because the latter are considered to be "in competition" with them for that feminine throne. They furthermore view their daughters as typical females, using subtlety/underhandedness/manipulation to get what they what from them & other family members.
I don't know how true your premise is. Certainly in patriarchal societies (where men are seen as more valuable than women, and the carrying on the family name is important) this may be true, but in much of the Western world, mothers love and have a closer bond with their girls (at least this has been my observation), and most mothers love both sons and daughters equally.
There is a male bias for male children, to the point China and India abort around 5% of their daughters to try to ensure a son is born.
In many societies, sons are favored by mothers because that is her old age insurance.
In such societies, it leads to literal discrimination against daughters, where you see sons go to school but girls don't or boys go to school until employable but girls drop out once it is no longer free. The boy gets the medical care while girls don't unless there is extra money - so female child mortality is worse worldwide. The boys get the better food in many Asian nations, while the women and girls get what is left.
I love my adult children - both boys- equally. On the sex question - "A daughter's a daughter for all of her life, a son is a son until he's a wife" I wish I had a daughter! But I would still love them all equally. The word love is an active verb i.e. work at being loving - it's a moral duty to the child. And yes, less loved children will be resentful or even damaged.
why some mothers prefer a male child than female for their first issue is because of their family name. where i came from we value a male child than a female child.
by ngureco 14 years ago
If You Can Only Have One Child, Would You Prefer A Boy Or A Girl? Why?
by Tsvetana Kodjabasheva 11 years ago
How do you feel about psychological concept that at certain age of the daughters mothers begin to compete with them? Is there a real envy in a mother about her daughter, because she is young and is having her entire life before her, while the life of the mother is at its middle point?
by David Livermore 6 years ago
Is it ok that I don't want to have children?Considering my age I have realized that I won't have children. Is that ok? I know this always disappointed my mother (who is now deceased), but the last couple of years I feel guilty I haven't had a child and probably won't have a child. ...
by S.P. Greaney 11 years ago
Can a mother become jealous of her daughters life?
by reddview 7 years ago
Would you prefer a son or a daughter as your first child? what about the second?I'm trying to get an idea for a new hub and just wanted a varied viewpoint from everybody
by gteri 14 years ago
i am a mother who had her son taken away and the controlling father got custody. where's this world coming too? mothers don't get chances anymore?
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