There is the (1)OVERprotective parent who sees his/her child as an infant although the child is 21 and then there is the(2) UNDERprotective parent who believes that his/her child is an adult althouigh the child is 7.
(1)Some parents cannot seem to let their children go. They feel that their children are infants F-O-R-E-V-E-R. In such families, when children are born, there seem to be some infernal parental pact that their child remain children all of their lives. It is not unusual for such parents to cry when their children leave home whether it is for college and/or permanently to establish their own lives. They still intrude in their children's lives although their children are capable of taking care of themselves.
These are parents who surreptitiously follow their tween children to school when the latter go to school alone. These are parents who are aghast when their children announce that they intend to work after school, during the summers, and/or perhaps pay their way through college. In their estimation, NO CHILD of theirs is to work for that is THEIR job as parents. They intend to make their children's lives as idyllic as possible. These parents take parenting seriously, maybe TOO SERIOUSLY. They need to let their children BE and GROW UP.
(2)Then there are parents who push their children out the door. They believe that parents today baby their children WAY TOO MUCH. Well, that is not their style. They believe that their children should learn by their mistakes. Their parenting style is total noninterference unless in dire emergencies. They believe that chiildren should experience life, both its good and bad points. They believe that the prevailing parenting style today borders on the psychotic and abusive.
They maintain that the more free range children are, the faster they develop. If they want to take an afterschool, summer job, and/or pay their way through college. Fine with them. If their child wants to become emancipated, and no longer depend upon them- fine, more money for them.
These are the type of parents whose children go to school unescorted at 6 years of age. They reason that their children are old enough to take care of themselves. These parents believe that the MORE INDEPENDENT their children are, THE LESS WORK it is for them. It is the wish of these parents, that by the time their children reach 18, either they are mostly or completely self-sufficient and OUT OF THE HOUSE. Let's discuss this.
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I don't have pre teen children, but I say spank away.
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