Dating Online - Am I crazy?

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  1. Sharmare profile image60
    Sharmareposted 14 years ago

    From Mariann - Share Your dating story. We are accepting submissions. Find out details on our website which is lifebytesbook.

    OMG — why am I on an ONLINE DATING site? Really, I had high hopes to meet my soul mate. I joined a popular site and uploaded what I thought was a good picture as my primary photo. I accompanied my best friend to a wedding and thought I looked good in the pic. My friend did not want to be seen in my online photo, which I totally respected. So, with my poor computer skills, I cropped the picture, but you could see just part of my friends arm. I thought it was a good picture and exhibited my smile and sense of fun well.

    Whenever I changed my profile or picture, my profile moved to the top of the viewing list and I always got a flurry of emails in my inbox … which was like Christmas! I loved getting new emails.

    Almost immediately, I saw emails in my MAILBOX and got a flurry of excitement. I clicked on an email from “someone” who just said, “I really liked your profile and your pretty smile. But, as soon as I saw that you did not care enough to post a proper professional picture and that you posted a pic with someone who was obviously cut out of that picture, I decided not to write you because I wondered how long it would be before you would cut me out of your life too.”

    Wow. Am I wrong or is that screwed up? Am I being harsh?
    Definitely not the email I was expecting. I thought he was not going to write me … but apparently he did.

    In a moment of anger I wrote back, “Thank you for your email. And, by the way, just in case you were wondering if your therapy sessions worked. They did not. I suggest you go … no … run back to seek counseling. Have a great day!”

    Oh, and for those wondering, my best friend in the picture … was gay and my best bud for 20 years. So much for his theory!

    Please tell me I am not alone in meeting wacky wonders on the internet. LOL …. would love to hear from you.


  2. 49er profile image61
    49erposted 14 years ago

    Crazy no, but you should take care as there are many crazies out there, as evidenced by the weird comment you received.

    From my experience, the best thing to do in those moments of "anger" is to go ahead and write the email, but send it to yourself. Then come back to it in a few hours and see if it is something that you still feel the need to send out.

    This is often much harder to practice than it is to preach though...

  3. Pest profile image77
    Pestposted 14 years ago

    I think that 90% of the people that are on the dating sites are there for a reason...Poor social skills.  I was on a site...and my skills suck as, just look at me!   Every single person that I met there had issues or baggage, except one and I am with her today.  Be CAREFUL is all I have to say or you may end up with a dweeb like me.

  4. profile image0
    jjrubioposted 14 years ago

    My advice. Don't do it.  Maybe your circle of friends isn't very big in real life but inviting strangers into your home via the web is not safe. Remember they can be whatever they want to be online and make you think they are perfect for you. Acts can only be played for so long before you see the real person they are.

    I am sure there are alot of honest, sincere people looking for love on there but the odds are against you. Alot of people are preying on the naive and weak ones earnestly searching for their soul mate. Be CAREFUL!!!

    And instead try to go to more social gatherings and meet people in person. Not to be rude but if you cannot meet people out and about in real life you may want to analyze why you aren't attracting anyone.....

  5. profile image0
    pgrundyposted 14 years ago

    Well, on a different note, I met the love of my life on one of those sites. My middle daughter met her husband on the same site. I don't think meeting people online is any more dangerous than meeting them in bars or at church socials or through friends. Yes there are lots of people on those sites with poor social skills but usually you figure that out with the first email, and if not then, at the first meeting.

    My own experience was that I heard from tons of weirdos and didn't answer most of the emails I  got, I just deleted them. A few were OK and I met those at the mall food court. Out of the food court people, about 95% were weirdos who sounded OK on paper but in person, weirdos. In fairness, they probably thought I was a weirdo too. I got an email from Bill just days before my membership ran out. We celebrated our fourth anniversary on Valentines Day and it's better all the time.

    The truth is, DATING is dangerous. Leaving your apartment is dangerous.

    We're all gonna die anyway eventually. big_smile

    1. Sharmare profile image60
      Sharmareposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, I know there are a lot of wackadoos out there. But, I am eternal optimist and don't want to say that I did try a certain venue. I am cautious and I figure that if I cannot find my soul mate then if I can at least get a funny story out of it, then all the better!! Having a sense of humor helps for sure when dating!!

      Thanks for the warnings. And, thanks for the hope that perhaps I might meet someone. I am so glad you found love.

  6. profile image0
    pgrundyposted 14 years ago

    Oh me too! I hope it happens for you too. It always comes around, usually when you least expect it! Good luck. smile

  7. Marelyn Pressle profile image59
    Marelyn Pressleposted 14 years ago

    I, too, met my true love online.  I dated several men from a personals site before meeting my husband, and ignored, brushed off, and deleted many others.  The great thing about meeting people online is you can weed out the wackos, or just incompatibles, before being stuck on an uncomfortable date with them.

    And to Mariann- if the guy was upset about you cutting someone out of a pic, try this, I had a guy send me a group pic, it looked like an office Christmas party.  If I worked with that guy, I'd have shot him!!

    Good luck. cool


    1. Sharmare profile image60
      Sharmareposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Marelyn. You have to respect not publishing people's picture without their consent.
      And ... If you feel like telling more of your story, you should submit it thru the website lifebytesbook (it is a .com) for an anthology book.

  8. KT pdx profile image68
    KT pdxposted 14 years ago

    I also met my husband on a dating site.  I published two hubs about my dating experience and how I met him.  The first few e-mails I got were all from weirdos wanting one thing, and I didn't even bother to answer them.  I went looking a little outside the parameters I set, and found my love.

  9. profile image0
    Leta Sposted 14 years ago

    Lots of stuff is online now--and meeting online will continue to get more popular in the future. It really depends on where you are from, as far as if it is accepted or considered 'dangerous' or not.  More conservative areas have a tendency to distrust meeting online.

    There is something of a 'formula' I feel a woman might follow if you want to have a successful experience--and it has seemed to work, as I have met my last two guys (relationships of 2 and now currently 4 years) online.  One thing is never to post a photo if you are looking to date--you are just going to be a magnet for creeps--and why even waste time ruling what you don't want out?  You make the first move after you decide who to approach.  Send them your photo after you make contact & decide you like each other.

    Men seem very appreciative of this--kind of weird, but both of my 2 BF's were the only ones I ever contacted at the time....  It's also safer.

    I keep telling my sister this, lol, but she doesn't listen to me, so!  And she keeps meeting the creepy guys online....  smile

  10. Rochelle Frank profile image91
    Rochelle Frankposted 14 years ago

    Since this person posted the same text as a hub And  in a forum, and pointed people toward the same "sharing" link-- I am wondering if this is a way of promoting a certain site.
    Not saying that is a bad thing... just wondering.

  11. profile image0
    Leta Sposted 14 years ago

    Ah!  Fell for it--maybe--or something...

    They gonna pay for any 'submissions?'  Is it a legitimate call for writers?

  12. profile image0
    Leta Sposted 14 years ago

    It actually is a paying gig for a book anthology:

    In my opinion, totally legitimate, though sometimes anthology editors miss the boat and can't find publishers & you never get paid, hmm.  But that usually doesn't mean they are not legit--just the publishing world is hard sometimes...

  13. Rochelle Frank profile image91
    Rochelle Frankposted 14 years ago

    Yeah, it's ok to ask.
    They did not seem to be pushy, just looking for interest in their subject.

    I do the same thing in some ways-- looking for people who might be interested in selling my book.

    1. Sharmare profile image60
      Sharmareposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Rochelle. It is legit. I am actually learning the difference between the hub and forum for this newbie to the site. Just wanted to direct people to the website if they have a story and give them the opportunity to earn an anthology fee and credit if their story is chosen. But, I am anxious to understand how people percieve internet dating and get a feeling to see if people have a positive or negative view of it. Interesting to see the polar opposite views here. I tried it but met no one and am wondering if it is just a sea of serial daters. Although a friend in IL met her husband that way. So, I will hold onto hope I think :-)

  14. sunstreeks profile image82
    sunstreeksposted 14 years ago

    I've done my share of online dating. The last online blind date I went on I got from a personal post I put on Craigslist. I ended up dating the guy for over a year.  We aren't together anymore but remain good friends. He's my work-out buddy now.

    I've only once had a bad feeling about a guy. Because we met in a public place to start, it was easy to get out of. 

    blind online dating is no different then going on a date with someone you met once in a bar. The majority of people are just normal people looking for the same thing you are. It's just the stories about the crazies you hear so much about.

    Follow you gut instinct, try and do a little look-up of their name on the internet (A myspace page can tell you a million things. such as the guy who's trying to date you but has pictures of his girlfriend and it says he's in a relationship wink ), and meet somewhere neutral for the first few dates.

    1. Sharmare profile image60
      Sharmareposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      MYSPACE ... great idea for a little investigating!! :-)

  15. britneydavidson profile image60
    britneydavidsonposted 14 years ago

    i dont prefer....well you cant trust anyone....plz dont do it.

  16. rambo87 profile image60
    rambo87posted 14 years ago

    Dating online? Yes you are crazy, don't do it its too dodgy!


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