If you were giving a child up for adoption would it be in the child's best inter

1. 70

   K.D. Clementposted 15 years ago

   If you were giving a child up for adoption would it be in the child's best interest to go to a relative or to someone unrelated to you?

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2. 63

   Lisa HWposted 15 years ago

   I think it would depend on why I was considering giving up the child and what kind of people my family members were.  As an adoptive mother of one of my sons, and biological mother of another son and daughter; I would never give up a child for adoption at all - not for any reason.  Having said that, my son (the adopted one) was removed from a very questionable family, where one of them was no better than any of the rest of them.  I've never felt any different about him just because there are no "common genes".
   
   Many people see that children are better off remaining with biological family, simply because at least they haven't been completely removed from their roots.
   
   Again, though, I think it very much depends on how skillfully all the adults involved will be able to handle things are the child grows, and on whether the biological family members would make good parents.
   
   If I had had a baby to place for adoption when my parents were alive I know, without a doubt, that the child would have been better off with them (because of the kind of people they were). The other side to that, though, is that those same parents raised a daughter who would have been able to take good care of a baby, which is the very reason I never would have had to put a baby for adoption.  Young women who have had no mother to show them how to be a mother and/or who have a family that is not supportive may be more likely to place a baby for adoption (which means, in cases like that, strangers would be better).

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3. 37

   gusripperposted 15 years ago

   dont you ever give a child for adopttion-its my wife a child like this and believe me she's a very very difficult person-the child start having troubles for this after 20-30 years its been given to anybody-believe me

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4. 57

   Tamarii2posted 15 years ago

   YOU WEIGH THE BENEFITS FOR THAT CHILD.
   WHO COULD HOLD UP FOR THE LONG TERM.WILL THAT CHILD  LIVE AND PROSPER WITHOUT YOU? ALWAYS LOOK AT BOTH SIDES THEN YOU WILL KNOW YOU MADE THE BEST CHOICE.PEACE.

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5. 59

   shirleybillposted 15 years ago

   That would depend on the circumstances. For instance: why would you want to give up your child for adoption? That is a question that you need to consider for yourself. If its financially, then you can get help outside the home. If you just need your freedom, then you will have to live with the ending results in latter years.
   When placing a child in another home, you need to be aware of what type of family you are placing your child with.
   Either way, will they take care of the child? Will they provide for the child? Feed the child? And the most important: will they love the child, and be willing to raise the child as their own?

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6. 49

   agelessbeautyposted 15 years ago

   Wow, How do you answer a question like this. It really all depends on the situation. By giving the child to a family member can you or the person handle knowing this is your child and by having a family member raise your child. Will you be able to deal with this. Will you be able to let that person raise your child the way they see fit. Not you see fit but them. What type of family members do you have to know they will love and cherish and nuture your child. Do you give your child to someone who maybe can not have children buts wants a child desperately one they can love and nuture.
   I think whomever is wanting to give up the child that they pray about it, and sleep on it. Have no regrets what soever. Know that if you are not able or capable to give the child the love he or she needs you, yourself need to come to terms. You really need to look into your heart and know that what ever you decide it is the right decison.

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7. 55

   max taylorposted 15 years ago

   It depends on whether you want to be involved or not. If you would like to be active in the childs life but for some reason cannot be the primary caregiver, a family member that you trust would prob be the best bet. If you'd like to stay out of the childs life, or would like to remain anonymous, giving the child to someone unrelated makes more sense.

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8. 61

   Ladybythelake55posted 15 years ago

   I did not give up my daughter voluntarily, my late ex husband and I had our parental rights terminated by Child Protection Service hearings and she was then placed into her adoptive home from her foster home. The people that adopted her toldl her in 1999, they wish tlhey had never gone through with the adoption because she had one too many handicaps. Today my daughter lives in dire poverty because the adopters have placed her on SSI and Medicaid while they live the good life.
   What to know more about adoption and the evil of it go  to exile birth mothers website by googling it and learn the truth about adoption, wrongful adoption, and foster care. I was adopted myself and my adopted family ruined my life.

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9. 61

   jenni1453posted 15 years ago

   If you were giving a child up for adoption is it in the best interest of the child to go to a relative or to someone unrelated to you? As frustrating as this answer may sound, it does depend on the family and their situation. What is right for one child, or one parent for that matter, may not be right for another. I have been on both ends of the situation, and had them both turn out to be in my best interest.
        So many factors come into play when considering giving up a child for adoption. The stability of the biological parent for one. If you find yourself looking at your individual circumstance and deciding that perhaps having a relative take the child is the best way to go, consider the following.
     Do you have what it takes to watch that child being raised by someone other than yourself? The kind of stability to have a broken heart. Are you prepared for questions that may be asked in the future about where the child comes from? Could there be potential family arguments about the way the child is raised and cared for down the line?
     As wonderful as it is to have that child still in your life, it is ten times as heartbreaking to know that it is someone else who is caring for a baby you carried for nine months. It's worth it, however, if you realize that being a parent is suffering, however silently, for the well being of your offspring. It may be that a good foster home is not available, and this is just a better choice.
      
       Sometimes the opposite is true. There may be an amazing home out there, and you just need to let go. Or even foster care, because the alternative is that a relative, even though it is family, just isn't stable. Or they just aren't able to care for the child the way that child deserves. I am a product of the system. My mother could no longer keep her children. Of the six of us, I am the only one to be adopted. My five siblings went with our relatives. As a result, they are all having very troubled lives. This had to do with circumstance. I was better off elsewhere.
       It is just about personal situations and what you believe the heart can handle. Trust your parental instincts. Even if you aren't quite a parent yet, you have them.
     I believe at the end of the day, we all know what's best for our children. It's just a matter of if we decide to do what's best for them, or for ourselves. Many of us pretend our selfish acts are for our children. They aren't. Trust your judgment. There are no wrong families.

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10. 0

    reeltaulkposted 15 years ago

    it would be in your best interest to make sure you give that child a home that you haven't.  as for the child best interest you need to do your home work and provide this child with a family and environment that will be benefial in the long run.  Just remember that is wasn't your childs doing that brought him /her into this world.  now you must take the initiative and correct whatever mistakes you believe you have made in your childs best interest!

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11. 79

    angela_michelleposted 15 years ago

    I think everyone else seems to have it... it depends on the circumstance. Personally, I think it's best to go to a relative if there is a stable relative out there, but if there is not, then it would be better to go to a non relative if there isn't a suitable option within the family.
    
    There are a hundred more things to consider, but in the briefest fullest answer I can write, that is what I think.

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