I found my birth mother on face book and i want to know how to have a better rel

Jump to Last Post 1-6 of 6 discussions (7 posts)
  1. peacock413 profile image59
    peacock413posted 12 years ago

    I found my birth mother on face book and i want to know how to have a better relation ship with her?

    s hard for me because after i was adopted i was put in foster care because the home i was adopted into was bad.

    1. profile image57
      Jessie Holtposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Take your time I know this was posted 7 years ago make sure you research about who she is I know from my personal experience I regret finding my bio family they’re actually jealous of what I have and keep telling me not not be like the family I’m with because they aren’t my family but yet they raised me so you never really know

  2. profile image0
    BRIAN SLATERposted 12 years ago

    if i was you i would take this very seriously and slowly, do you remember your mum she is going to be different from how you remember her. Has she remarried, does she have any children, these might not want to know you. Does your mum want to make contact with you. These are just some questions you need to ask yourself. It would be great if it happens but a lot has happened between you and this will take time to heal. Good luck

  3. zoey24 profile image77
    zoey24posted 12 years ago

    I was adopted when i was eight, and my birth mother contacted me when i was eighteen, unfortunately it did not work out how i always imagined it to, she wrote to me and phonned me but didnt want me to visit her and her new family in person, she also lied to me alot about my childhood to make herself look better, this made me feel very confused about the whole situation, i would suggest you get councelling before you take it any further so you can be fully prepared for what may or may not happen, i wish i had done the same.

  4. motherof5_1999 profile image60
    motherof5_1999posted 12 years ago

    I too was in your situation, as my hubpages will inform you. First of all Congratulations on finding your birth mother. For me this was both scary and exciting at the same time.
    I started out by writing letters back and forth between my birthmother and myself. I was in the process of getting married and thought what better than to invite my birth mother to my wedding....That was scary....
    Let me back track a minute. Growing up in my adoptive home,my adoptive mother always downplayed my birth mother. She would tell me she was overweight, uneducated, and a disgusting person. In my mind none of this could be true...after all she was my birth mom.
    Growing through the pain of the abuse I lived with I held on to the thoughts that I would someday meet my birthmother and belong, once again to her.
    So I did meet her and it was scary. She was in a wheel chair, as she had poor health. She wasnt of the middle to upper class, but I didn't care. Sitting there was the woman who once made a difficult decision to give me up because she thought it was best.
    In hindsite it was better for me...even though I had to go through the abuse.
    Communicate by letters, and when you feel up to it get together and go to dinner, a movie, or anything the two of you enjoy.
    I eventually lost communication with my birth mother on my own decision as she would repeatedly make me feel bad that she couldnt pay her bills. Almost asking for money.
    When I did decide to get back into contact with her, I instead found her obituary on the internet. I contacted my birth brother whom I had also communicated with off and on and he verified it was our birth mother.
    I can't guarantee things will work out like you had pictured in your mind, as they dont in most cases. But if it is that bond of knowing your biological mother, keep the lines of communication open and the relationship will develop on its own. Remember at one point in time she did what she thought was best for you. No one can predict the future for their child when choosing adoption, they are choosing for that moment in time.
    Best of luck to you!!

  5. romari profile image57
    romariposted 12 years ago

    my birth parents are poor.and my foster parents are in the middle class. it is good to recognize your birth mother and respect her. but it is your prerogative if you will go with her or to stay at your foster parents home.

  6. OrphanWorldGuy profile image60
    OrphanWorldGuyposted 12 years ago

    Developing a good, close relationship will require honesty about the past and a commitment on both of you to build a relationship. But every relationship is different and you only have control over your side of the equation.

    I met my biological mother when I was 30 and my biological father when I was 40. I have a great relationship with both sides of that family and with my adoptive family. I made a decision a long time ago to just lump them all into that one word, "family". But that's because it's how I view them.

    For your own needs, you may need to use other terminology like "biological mother" to appropriately categorize the relationship in a way you can handle.

    Being adopted was really the way God chose to form my life. I adopted my son when he was 13 and have worked with others on adoption. And now I run a nonprofit agency working with orphan kids worldwide.

    I hope you find the relationship you're looking for. A great step is to enter the relationship with a huge amount of grace and forgiveness.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)