I found my birth mother on face book and i want to know how to have a better relation ship with her?
s hard for me because after i was adopted i was put in foster care because the home i was adopted into was bad.
Take your time I know this was posted 7 years ago make sure you research about who she is I know from my personal experience I regret finding my bio family they’re actually jealous of what I have and keep telling me not not be like the family I’m with because they aren’t my family but yet they raised me so you never really know
if i was you i would take this very seriously and slowly, do you remember your mum she is going to be different from how you remember her. Has she remarried, does she have any children, these might not want to know you. Does your mum want to make contact with you. These are just some questions you need to ask yourself. It would be great if it happens but a lot has happened between you and this will take time to heal. Good luck
I was adopted when i was eight, and my birth mother contacted me when i was eighteen, unfortunately it did not work out how i always imagined it to, she wrote to me and phonned me but didnt want me to visit her and her new family in person, she also lied to me alot about my childhood to make herself look better, this made me feel very confused about the whole situation, i would suggest you get councelling before you take it any further so you can be fully prepared for what may or may not happen, i wish i had done the same.
I too was in your situation, as my hubpages will inform you. First of all Congratulations on finding your birth mother. For me this was both scary and exciting at the same time.
I started out by writing letters back and forth between my birthmother and myself. I was in the process of getting married and thought what better than to invite my birth mother to my wedding....That was scary....
Let me back track a minute. Growing up in my adoptive home,my adoptive mother always downplayed my birth mother. She would tell me she was overweight, uneducated, and a disgusting person. In my mind none of this could be true...after all she was my birth mom.
Growing through the pain of the abuse I lived with I held on to the thoughts that I would someday meet my birthmother and belong, once again to her.
So I did meet her and it was scary. She was in a wheel chair, as she had poor health. She wasnt of the middle to upper class, but I didn't care. Sitting there was the woman who once made a difficult decision to give me up because she thought it was best.
In hindsite it was better for me...even though I had to go through the abuse.
Communicate by letters, and when you feel up to it get together and go to dinner, a movie, or anything the two of you enjoy.
I eventually lost communication with my birth mother on my own decision as she would repeatedly make me feel bad that she couldnt pay her bills. Almost asking for money.
When I did decide to get back into contact with her, I instead found her obituary on the internet. I contacted my birth brother whom I had also communicated with off and on and he verified it was our birth mother.
I can't guarantee things will work out like you had pictured in your mind, as they dont in most cases. But if it is that bond of knowing your biological mother, keep the lines of communication open and the relationship will develop on its own. Remember at one point in time she did what she thought was best for you. No one can predict the future for their child when choosing adoption, they are choosing for that moment in time.
Best of luck to you!!
my birth parents are poor.and my foster parents are in the middle class. it is good to recognize your birth mother and respect her. but it is your prerogative if you will go with her or to stay at your foster parents home.
Developing a good, close relationship will require honesty about the past and a commitment on both of you to build a relationship. But every relationship is different and you only have control over your side of the equation.
I met my biological mother when I was 30 and my biological father when I was 40. I have a great relationship with both sides of that family and with my adoptive family. I made a decision a long time ago to just lump them all into that one word, "family". But that's because it's how I view them.
For your own needs, you may need to use other terminology like "biological mother" to appropriately categorize the relationship in a way you can handle.
Being adopted was really the way God chose to form my life. I adopted my son when he was 13 and have worked with others on adoption. And now I run a nonprofit agency working with orphan kids worldwide.
I hope you find the relationship you're looking for. A great step is to enter the relationship with a huge amount of grace and forgiveness.
by colp 13 years ago
I was always aware from a very early age that I had been adopted at only 7 days old and it was arranged before I was born. This may fly in the face of what everyone says but I always wished I NEVER knew, that I'd never been told... I grew up feeling different from everybody else and my...
by lightwarrior 12 years ago
My 12 yo daughter asked to see a pic of her birthmom. Does this mean she does not feel I am her mom?I have offered before; she always said no. We have always been so close, and I guess I feel a bit rejected, but would NEVER tell her that!! I have always told her positive things about adoption and...
by Dawn Michael 12 years ago
part of realiy hub series, your answer may be used in the next reality hub, driving traffic to your page.
by grumpiornot 8 years ago
If you adopted a child, would you be offended if they wanted to find their biological parents?Adoptive parents share their lives with their children and yet, they must live with the fact that at some stage, their children will seek out their biological parents. Is that a snub to the adoptive...
by Escobana 12 years ago
I wonder often why so many adopted children, go off to find their roots. Tv shows, documentaries and movies often show the romantic side of their search.I am adopted and never searched for my roots yet. I'm 38 and happy with my life and adoptive parents.Do adopted children realize they might not be...
by K.D. Clement 14 years ago
If you were giving a child up for adoption would it be in the child's best interest to go to a relative or to someone unrelated to you?
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |