Gay-marriage subjects children to having never known who their mother or father

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  1. CarolAnnHeadrick profile image60
    CarolAnnHeadrickposted 5 years ago

    Gay-marriage subjects children to having never known who their mother or father is.

    For those people who are pro-gay marriage, which parent would you have rather never known – your mom or your dad?

  2. ThompsonPen profile image77
    ThompsonPenposted 5 years ago

    no necessarily...I know a few gay couples that have children who know both their biological parents. And what about any other adopted child? Straight parents adopt kids who never know their biological parents.

  3. ParadigmEnacted profile image74
    ParadigmEnactedposted 5 years ago

    Marriage does nothing except allow two people to attain a legal distinction. Any arrangement beyond that is decided by the parties involved in the scenario you just described, not the law or the marital institution. It would be like saying that nobody is allowed into the marital home and nobody is allowed to leave it to interact with others. It doesn't make any sense.

    Are you talking about adopted children who have been given up by both parents in which case they don't know their mother or father? Or......

    Actually I'm done here. People against gay marriage would help their cause so much more if most of them weren't insane.

    "Kids...either me or your mother is going to start getting real gay, which one of us do you like better?"

    1. profile image0
      mbuggiehposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I really appreciate your comment: "People against gay marriage would help their cause so much more if most of them weren't insane."

  4. profile image0
    JThomp42posted 5 years ago

    First of all. I must say I am against gay marriage. Saying that, I believe this to be no different than when any child is adopted. Some may never know who their parents are. Some have to know and do the research to find them. Sometimes it turns out fine. At times they feel they have wasted their time. But, everyone is entitled to know who brought them into this world.

    1. duffsmom profile image61
      duffsmomposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      thumbs up! :-)

    2. jlpark profile image83
      jlparkposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I like this answer, JThomp. We both know that doesn't happen often, nor was it your intent. I just wanted to thank you for it - I believe similarly (except for the bit about gay marriage of course!)

  5. lburmaster profile image82
    lburmasterposted 5 years ago

    Some gay marriage families actually do tell the child which parent they are from. The families that are open about acceptance and sharing don't have trouble with the mom or dad question.

    1. profile image0
      mbuggiehposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      And many actually KNOW who their biological mothers or fathers are because they were raised knowing them. Many, many, many gay and lesbian people have children from previous heterosexual marriages and relationships.

  6. Pauline Davenport profile image59
    Pauline Davenportposted 5 years ago

    We really do get our knickers in a twist about homosexual relationships, just because it's  still seen outside of the 'norm' - don't forget it wasn't that long ago that homosexuality was illegal and the penalty for being so was harsh- thankfully not so these days in civilised parts of the world,

    I suspect that the underlying fear about two homosexual men adopting a child is that of sexual abuse and paedophilia - old predudices run deep, especially from those who have been abused in this way- the horrific damage from this runs into generation after generation and how can it possibly be measured.?
    However, when a child is adopted, stringent  measures are in place to ensure the safety and nurturing of that child.. Sadly,horrifically the net is not always safe, but this is true for heterosexual couples who adopt too.- just watch the news now and again.

    As for knowing who their biological parents are - this will will either come up or not as the years go by, and homosexual or straight adoptive parents all have this to contend with, deal with ,and support their children in whatever decisions they make - being a parent is being a parent whether straight or gay - we all have to do the best we can by our children and support them with  all the love we can give - this is not sentimental by the way - this is just me being a mum.

    1. ParadigmEnacted profile image74
      ParadigmEnactedposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting that it matters less to people if children are abused by  parents that are allegedly heterosexual or if it is a girl who is the one abused. No outrage over that.

    2. Pauline Davenport profile image59
      Pauline Davenportposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      All and any sort of child abuse is an outrage and sickening. If it happens within a single sex marriage/relationship, it only seems more outrageous as it justifies the predudices others feel about such relationships - more fuel to the homophobic fire

  7. junkseller profile image83
    junksellerposted 5 years ago

    I think maybe you should worry less about what your delusions lead you to believe some kids are losing out on, and worry more about what you are subjecting kids to via your own bigotry and hatred. You are the parent kids should go without.

    1. duffsmom profile image61
      duffsmomposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      This question indicated no bigotry. It was a simple inquiry.  Your response is rather harsh, isn't it?

    2. ParadigmEnacted profile image74
      ParadigmEnactedposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      So-called heterosexuals, having full reign on the institution of marriage and child rearing all these years gave us such lovely things as rampant abuse, broken homes, dysfunctional families, and a surging divorce rate. There's a standard for ya.

    3. junkseller profile image83
      junksellerposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Stating that same-sex parents automatically harm their children isn't bigotry? I thought my response was polite compared to what was deserved.

    4. jlpark profile image83
      jlparkposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      First reaction of mine to the question was 'oh for gosh sake'. Then when not in the heat of the moment answered the question. First reactions sometimes aren't the best ones to go with. But I do also see you point.

    5. junkseller profile image83
      junksellerposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      It was my first reaction and second reaction and current reaction even now...and that's not an excuse, I am sure your diplomacy is the better way to go, but I'm just tired of it all and am mostly out of politeness.

  8. CarolAnnHeadrick profile image60
    CarolAnnHeadrickposted 5 years ago

    I asked this question because I hear that the justification for gay marriage is that two people love each other.  But no one asks about the love of the children for their mother and father. In gay marriage, the children will know biologically that they have both a mother and a father and that they were purposely denied one of them. I believe that the love of a mother and a father is best in raising children. Children that are adopted into a traditional marriage do have both a mother and father.  Not one of you has answered my original question and I believe it is because you cannot imagine your life without your mother or father, however imperfect they may or may not have been.

    1. ThompsonPen profile image77
      ThompsonPenposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      But it's not about the physical casing, it's a bout the energy each person contains. There's more feminine energy in some people than in others like masculine energy. Each person plays a roll.

    2. junkseller profile image83
      junksellerposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      The justification for gay marriage is that they are exactly the same as you. Of course they care as much about their children as you do. It is only your bigotry which imagines differently, which is disgusting and deserves nothing but derision.

    3. profile image0
      JThomp42posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I totally agree with you Carol!!

    4. ThompsonPen profile image77
      ThompsonPenposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with junkseller. They are people like you and me. They hvae intestines and hearts and a mind a feelings and with those feelings they feel love - if it can be shared with a child who has no parents or 1 parent, they're doing something beautifu

    5. Sri T profile image77
      Sri Tposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Its about the thoughts or ideas that will be planted in the child's mind. What kind of thoughts will they plant?

    6. jonnycomelately profile image81
      jonnycomelatelyposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Sri T,  those are presumptions in your mind.  You think they will be "teaching" the children "bad" things.   Talk to gay people.  You will find your presumptions are ill-founded.

    7. jlpark profile image83
      jlparkposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Sri - if you mean - will gay parents make their kids gay? No. It's not like that. If it was - I'd be straighter than a ruler - I have hetero parents, and 7 hetero siblings, a lot of hetero friends...and then there's me - gayer than a rainbow. smile

    8. dashingscorpio profile image86
      dashingscorpioposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Here is my answer. My parents divorced when I was very young and I grew up without a father or step-father. I turned out alright!

    9. Sri T profile image77
      Sri Tposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I don't know what the bad things are jonny. I have no presumptions. One person told me they would teach both straight and gay lifestyles. It's up to them.

    10. fpherj48 profile image78
      fpherj48posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Carol, Very "Special," YOU believe love of mom&Dad is BEST in raising kids.My sons had NOT the "option" to "imagine" life w/o Dad.He died when they were babies. Might U be so kind as to "guess" how they became well-adjusted, successful, beloved m

    11. profile image0
      mbuggiehposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Do you heterosexuals really marry only to breed? Are your relationships really so debased as to just be spaces for sex and procreation?

      I know better and know that they are not---at least not the heterosexual marriages I have witnessed.

  9. dashingscorpio profile image86
    dashingscorpioposted 5 years ago

    I don't think scenario applies only for Gay marriages. The same could be true of any, test tube conception, adoption, sperm donor, or surrogate. When it's all said and done a child needs to be loved and cared for. There are lots of kids that know their father or mother for numerous reasons.

  10. brakel2 profile image77
    brakel2posted 5 years ago

    I accept gay marriage. However, it is not about not knowing who the parents really are. It is about love among parents and children. There are some that work and some with problems. This is the same as for straight parents. I know some gay couples with children who have great relationships. The explanations given to children who see the love make all the difference.

  11. jonnycomelately profile image81
    jonnycomelatelyposted 5 years ago

    How about the single mum.... do you suppose she can give her boy(s) all of the masculine influence they need in their growing up?   Would you be against children being allowed to grow up in just that single-gender atmosphere?   Would it deprive them of a "natural" upbringing?   Suppose she taught them that it's ok to sleep around with any one, outside of marriage.  Would that suit your christian ideas?
    I am not being offensive here.... just showing you how illogical some of your thoughts of gay marriage might be.

    1. dashingscorpio profile image86
      dashingscorpioposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I am a man who grew up in a single mother household and I know of other guys who did as well. I have never heard of any parent teaching their child it's okay to sleep around. I had coaches and other male mentors and we went church most Sundays.

    2. fpherj48 profile image78
      fpherj48posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Single Mom of 4 sons, here. Single-gender atmosphere? natural upbringing? It was NOTHING I DID or DIDN'T do, to have 4 hetero-sons & TWELVE grandchildren!!  That's just the way it was and IS!  Been sleeping?  "Gay" is NOT by choice or upbringing!

    3. profile image0
      mbuggiehposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly!

      My father was raised by his mother, grandmothers, and aunts. There are few men that could even begin to measure up to him as a man.

  12. jlpark profile image83
    jlparkposted 5 years ago

    A loaded question if I ever saw one.

    What people seem to forget is that we gay people do not exist in a "Bubble of Gayness."  We have families, friends, loved ones - many of whom are opposite gendered to ourselves.  We are not without opposite gendered influences in our lives, or the lives of our children.

    We experience life with others, not just us, our significant other and our children. 

    MANY MANY same-sex couples have intact relationships with the biological mother or father of their child/ren.  I know of a child that has 4 caring parents - two of either gender.  The only think that seperates them from being EXACTLY the same as a divorced and remarried couple with children (so again 4 parent figures) is that the two men are together, and the two women are together.

    Being a gay woman myself, and trying to conceive our first child/ren with my wife- this is an issue close to my heart. (and a loaded question that really annoys me). So I know FIRST HAND that there are also things that can be put in place.
    The HART (Human Assisted Reproduction Technologies (i think)) Act has provisions for those who use donor sperm or eggs to conceive  - this goes for STRAIGHT couples using donor due to infertility as well. This Act means that the donor of egg or sperm MUST be available to be known to the child/ren conceived when they are 18 IF they wish to know them. MUCH like adoption here in NZ.

    So it not like they WILL not know them.  It is their choice.

    You speak of us like we live in a bubble - we do not. Just because we love another of the same gender does not mean we shut out the other gender completely.

    If my child wants to know their biological father, then they will. He is a straight man, who does not wish to be involved in their upbringing, but will happily be available when they are 18, and merely wishes to help out a couple wishing to have children. Male influence? We have many men in our lives - fathers, bro-in-laws, friends.

    TO answer your question - Neither.  BUT I was lucky enough TO know both my parents. I have several friends who are from STRAIGHT relationships who DO NOT know their biological fathers, because they left before they were born. However, other father figures stepped up, and did the job for them.

    Why do you assume that one is being "left out" and "never known" merely because they are not part of the married family unit?

    1. Pauline Davenport profile image59
      Pauline Davenportposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks - i hope that the above helps dispel some prejudicial myths. We are all hopefully learning and growing, and such writing will go a long way in people's learning of what is- to them-  an unknown quantity

    2. jonnycomelately profile image81
      jonnycomelatelyposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      As a gay man, with very little social or family life, your reply has been eye-opening and heart-warming.... great education for me, thank you.

    3. jlpark profile image83
      jlparkposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      You are both very welcome. I'm glad I could be of service!

    4. profile image0
      mbuggiehposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly!

      Should we eliminate artificial insemination for heterosexual women? After all, they give birth to children who will likely never know the identity of their biological mother and/or father.

  13. fpherj48 profile image78
    fpherj48posted 5 years ago

    "WAR,"... subjects thousands of babies to grow up in SINGLE parent homes, never having known their mother or father. 
    NEXT LOADED question??

  14. profile image0
    mbuggiehposted 4 years ago

    Your question is patently absurd. One does not to have had a gay or lesbian parent to have never known one OR both of one's biological parents.

    ANY child can lose a parent and ANY child can be born to a single mother or single father. ANY child can be given up for adoption or abandoned. The sexuality of the parent is NOT the determining factor in whether or not a child will have knowledge of the identity of their biological parents.

 
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