How can you enforce a timetable on adult children living at home to move out in this tough economy?
My daughter is a high school teacher and just got her Masters in Education and English Lit. She is 26 and still lives at home. I feel so bad because I would like her to move out so her Dad and I can have a life of our own. I do not know the answer but you are not alone
Well, this is a real dilemma. If you DO want them to go, take a look at the situation you are providing them. Have you made it too comfortable? Do they pay rent, bills, generally chip into the household expenses? You may want to re-evaluate their resposibilities. -HOWEVER- Lots of people, in all age groups, are consolidating expenses by moving in with family members to weather the economic storm. You may have to take a more realistic look at their ability to actually make it without you as the base. If you still find you'd like them to move out, check the classifieds for "ROOM MATES WANTED"! Areas around universities are usually full of them. Make use of online classifieds, too. GOOD LUCK!
Force them to marry into money! Just kidding:) Seriously though, as a recent college grad ('07) my classmates and I all have yucky or so-so jobs where we make very little. I win the job prize as a legal secretary (I have a BA) and my friend substitute teaches, while another is a nanny and yet another works in dining services at a nursing home. No one I know who I went to college with has a good job. On the other hand you should be charging rent, free rides aren't good for anyone! Look at the rent as a good way to pay off debt early or invest so you can reitre comfortably. But I suggest treating as more of a landlord/tenant situation than a parent/child one. Ultimately I guess the question is what exactly are you willing to put your child through to get them out of the house?
That is a very good question. I am actually in this predicament right now, by no means of my own. My dad's neice changed the lock on the apartment where I was staying and I was forced to move in temporarily with my dad. I must mention I have never lived one day in his household in all of my 39 years. He is forcing me to move out by the first. I am disabled, I had cancer and other health issues. I am currently awaiting my social security disablity, and I have been approved for an apartment in public housing. Knowing all this information, he is still forcing me to move out. Housing takes time. My issue isn't even money driven. I do not think that it is reasonable to do such a thing. I am only awaiting the call from housing. How can I not be a little upset by this. I have been living with him since the very end of January. I do not think a timetable is reasonable. That's what family is supposed to be there for to help in the time of need. But if you don't have love then it would be very easy to enforce a timetable.
This is a really tough question. Many families find that creating a contract with their adult kids can help clarify the expectations for everyone, including what steps the adult child is taking to work towards an eventual exit from the nest (it won't happen all on its own) and how the parents can help. You can find a contract template at http://www.adultchildrenlivingathome.com/contract.htm
As with many things, being firm and positive is a must. A clear deadline of two or three months would be helpful for many to understand and make their plans accordingly. America is not like many parts of the world where it has long been the tradition that several generations or families live under one roof.
Many people in America don't realize all the stresses that come with living with others until they actually do. Once the adult children move from the nest, the parents can breath a sigh of relief and fully relax in their own home again, and they begin to savor the fact that there is nothing like having their own.
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