What are the negative after effects of adult children living w/parents in their mid-30s-- excluding
dire and/or temporary circumstances e.g. divorce, job loss etc.- rather than avoid the responsibility of living on their own?
For some they are considered to be "mama's children, or they have not cut the apron strings. It can be seen as adults fearful of taking steps away from theit parents, and being dependant on them, soley.
I imagine somebody who lives at home in their thirties, may not have a great credit score. If all bills and rent is in their parents name, it only leaves mobile phone contract and other small things, so applying for credit may be difficult.
I'm sure that's not true for all of course, I have a friend who lives at home and seems to do perfectly fine. He goes on holiday frequently, has the latest gadgets and doesn't have to do very much at all; he loves it.
It really comes down to the parents and the adult child's relationship with each other. If they love it the only issue would likely be in the dating and social areas.
Men don't tend to hold it against women who may be living at home with parents as much as women hold it against men.
Some parents let their adult children come and go as they please and even have overnight guest in their home. It's almost as if the parents and adult child are best friends or roommates.
I know of one instance where the basement was retrofitted to be a two bedroom apartment complete with a bathroom and it's own private entrance for an adult woman child in her 40s.
The men she dated didn't seem to mind that her mother lived upstairs.
On the other hand if the parents feel like their adult child is intruding on their "golden years" or the adult child feels "entitled" and doesn't want to contribute in anyway that could cause a lot of tension.
Egos may clash as the adult child may want to be treated as an adult while the parents essentially place them back in the "dependent" role of a child and demand they follow their rules. The adult child becomes depressed and frustrated.
If the adult child is a (man) lots of women would consider him to be a "loser" and not "date material" .
One woman told me that she will not date a man unless:
He has a job where she can call him.
Has his own credit card.
Has his own car.
Has his own apartment.
So yes, I agree, men are often considered losers if they live with their parents.
Dr Billy Kidd, So true! And yet if an attractive woman lived with her parents, had no job, car, or credit card many men would not hesitate to date her. If anything a few might even play the role of a rescuer or Knight in shinning armor!
It can sap someone's initiative and incentive to be independent. The book "The Millionaire Next Door" describes this as economic inpatient care (compared to "economic outpatient care of simply giving kids money). Those in these circumstances tend to become dependent upon parents financially even more than those simply getting cash gifts, never building up a business or doing much else, though they hit dire straights when Mom and Dad die.
I think it depends on the situation. I have always said my children are always welcome to live with me. If they do they must be doing all they can to reach a greater goal. If that means saving up to buy a house, going to college, or trying to get a business/new career started. Parents should be encouraging/supportive and not enabling them to be stagnant.
by dje71 4 years ago
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