FRIENDSHIP OR RELATIONSHIP?

1. 49

   mary113posted 16 years ago

   I HAVE A GUY FRIEND OF OVER 23 YEARS AND HE LIVES IN CALIFORNIA AND I LIVE IN TEXAS RECENTLY HE CAME DOWN ON VACATION, HE INFORMED ME THAT HE IS NOW DIVORCED AND SUDDENLY HE HAS THIS SEXUAL INTEREST IN ME THAT I WAS TOTALLY UNAWARE OF ALL THESE YEARS, ONE NIGHT HE STATED THAT IF WE HAVE SEX THAT IT WOULD STRENGTHEN OUR FRIENDSHIP WHILE I WAS LIKE IT'S GOING TO MESS UP OUR CLEAN HISTORY TOGETHER, HE BECAME UPSET BECAUSE HE WANTED TO COME TO MY APT,AND I SAID THAT I WAS ALREADY IN BED HE THEN TOLD ME THAT I WAS FULL OF SH__! AND HOW HE WAS SICK OF ME AND MY DAMN EXCUSES AND HUNG UP AND REFUSED TO TALK TO ME FOR A DAY WHEN HE DID CALL ME HE ASKED IF I HAD CHANGED MY MIND. I TOLD HIM I WAS AFRAID TO TELL HIM NO BECAUSE OF HOW HE WOULD ACT HE CONTINUED TO AS ABOUT COMING OVER I ALLOWED HIM TO VISIT ME BECAUSE I FELT GUILTY ABOUT NOT LETTING HIM OVER THE OTHER TIME. MEANWHILE WHEN HE CAME OVER HE WAS CONSTANTLY WATCHING MY 10 YR OLD BECAUSE HE SAID HE FELT AS IF MY SON WAS WATCHING US I TOLD HIM MY SON DIDN'T KNOW HIM AND I DIDN'T THINK MY SON WAS BEING RUDE, SO MY FRIEND WAS MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH WATCHING MY SON AND WHERE HE WAS GOING AROUND IN THE KITCHEN AND SO ON UNTIL HE SAID LET ME GO ON AND LEAVE BEFORE YOUR SON BREAKS HIS NECK WHICH I THOUGHT WAS RUDE.SHOULD I REMAIN FRIENDS WITH IS MAN I'M CONFUSED BY HIS BEHAVIOR.

   replyreport
   1. 68

      rsmalloryposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      If you have known this man for 23 years in a completely platonic sense and there has never been any attraction on your end you need to stick to your guns. Do not feel pressured into an intimate relationship with him if you do not feel that way about him. If you have been friends for that long you should be able to talk about it and say no without him getting mad or being rude. I would tell him how your feeling and let him know that his rude behavior is unacceptable. If he continues with that type of behavior sever ties with him. Be true to yourself.

      replyreport
   2. 59

      goodfriendiamposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe you need to begin to ask yourself first why you were friends with him in the first place? Maybe this will bring back some memory's, that you will need to evaluate. And weigh them out. It could just be, that he is bitter towards women in general, because of his divorce. Or it could be,the very reason why his wife wanted the divorce. But most defiantly think things through thoroughly. Another thing, you are not responsible for this mans actions, you are not responsible to make him happy, and further more don't allow know one to make you feel guilty. Dee

      replyreport
   3. 60

      cynthiaaliseposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      Cut him loose he is being a jerk.  He is definitely not evolved enough to be a good partner.  I don't put up with any of that kind of stuff...ever.

      replyreport
   4. 0

      mdawson17posted 16 years agoin reply to this

      You have boundaries and they have been set and they must be kept! You cannot not compromise for someone who has already illustrated a behavior that you are not  agreeing with!
      
      Any person that acts forceful towards the act of sex, you must use a watchful eye when in his/her presence!
      
      About your son, he is a child and when a child does not know someone they will stare and act peculiar! This friend cannot be offended because a child acts the way he/she may they are children and will act innocently towards what they feel!
      
      If you are asking for advice this is what I can give to you:
      This man has boundaries issues and will never respect you stay clear of him he can be dangerous to your child and your stability as well as safety!

      replyreport
2. 0

   Ghost32posted 16 years ago

   This guy sounds totally toxic, Mary.  I wouldn't want him around me one second, let alone within a mile of my kids.

   replyreport
   1. 60

      GeoHoliday2009posted 16 years agoin reply to this

      That is true! Don`t let him near your son or even you.

      replyreport