Is being in a "friends with benefits" relationship a good idea?

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  1. cjcarter profile image72
    cjcarterposted 13 years ago

    Is being in a "friends with benefits" relationship a good idea?

    One of my best friends is (just recently) in this kind of situation with one of her guy friends. It is none of my business what she does or doesn't do, but I just wanted to get a general idea of how common this is, and is it really that great of an idea? It seems like this is not the greatest of ideas. Thoughts?

  2. GetFitRight profile image60
    GetFitRightposted 13 years ago

    In my experience no, because someone always gets hurt. Either by falling in love or by ruining a friendship by becoming intimate. Once you are intimate with someone it is hard to have any other type of relationship with them.

  3. iamnotfrancis profile image61
    iamnotfrancisposted 13 years ago

    sadly no. I agree with GetFitRight. There is no commitment in "friends with benefits" and one day one of you might expect one. In the end, one of you gets hurt and ruins the friendship altogether.

    in my opinion "friends with benefits" is a very poor friendship/relationship.

  4. chrissie123 profile image60
    chrissie123posted 13 years ago

    It is never a good Idea it is # 1 cause of heartbreak seeing as you will be friends only but having a sexual relationship it opens you up to dealing with them seeing other people and of course it will hurt. This really can ruin a friendship. Hope this helps,

  5. tiffany delite profile image72
    tiffany deliteposted 13 years ago

    i agree with the other hubbers who have answered here so far. a "friends with benefits" type of relationship is really not a good idea.

  6. profile image0
    L a d y f a c eposted 13 years ago

    Unanimous it seems. Even if you have two people who agree to the same terms, agree that they will be friends with benefits until further notice and will not be upset over when and how it ends, eventually, one will most likely get hurt. I had a friend I used to curl up with and watch movies with, and sometimes spend the night together. We had an agreement and knew where each other stood, but still, he was hurt when I stopped doing it. Technically, you're calling off a relationship, even though it may not be your typical one.

    Heck I've never even been able to find anyone who will accept that you're hanging out as friends WITHOUT benefits, with no chance of going further. They always say they understand, and yet still put the moves on.

    Most times, someone gets hurt.

  7. FrankiesGirl6Yr profile image70
    FrankiesGirl6Yrposted 13 years ago

    Friends with benefits can work, but only if both parties are on the same page and neither one is in a relationship with another person.
    This is a situation where a type of ground rules should be set. Being that the acting parties are friends, this shouldn't be a hard task.
    I believe as long as both parties follow the mutual agreement and more importantly end any physical activity if felling or emotions begging to step over a line, it is a relationship that can exist.
    This is not a relationship for those who are unsure as to what they want or are seeking a companion in any way. Individuals in this type of relationship need to be confident in their feeling and have the mentality that a relationship, with anyone, is not in the near future.

  8. akirlew profile image60
    akirlewposted 13 years ago

    Bad idea, it's basically playing with ones emotions and will lead to hurt, disappointment, (possible pregnancy?), and even worse (if they are not exclusive) could lead to STD's.

  9. profile image0
    jasper420posted 13 years ago

    freinds with benifits is realy common mostly in the younger generations if you can do it safley with no stings attached then yes i dont see a problem with it its when feelings get invloved that things go down hill fast

  10. stricktlydating profile image85
    stricktlydatingposted 13 years ago

    Nah, it's not a good idea.  She probably deserves better.

  11. Dviews profile image60
    Dviewsposted 13 years ago

    All my friends I must say are friends with benefits - they are true friends to me, they let me know when I am wrong, they put up with me-faults and all, they laugh with me and they cry with me and have even loan me funds at times however this relationship is shared between all my friends and remains healthy as it is not one sided and no one is giving or doing because they are being forced or required to do so. I would love them anyways and they me because that is what makes us friends.

    So I guess it is fair to ask "What kind of benefits and with whom?"
    Your friend can be opening a lot of worms if the benefits include money, gifts etc. and with a guy. Guys are physical creatures (no male bashing intended smile and they do express their feelings in a physical sense and unless the person's name is Jesus I really do thing he is giving because he has feelings for the person and hopes somehow that it is returned or will be returned over time.

    This is also a sticky situation for you because she is your friend and you do not want to see her get hurt or someone else for that matter. Tell her the truth and let her know you are saying so because you care for her as a friend, if she doesn't appreciate your advise don't hold on to it just let it go and be there for her should she need a shoulder.
    She should not take things from this guy if she has no feelings for him.

    Good luck!

  12. Jaynie2000 profile image84
    Jaynie2000posted 13 years ago

    I've always thought it was a curious term. You're either friends or you're lovers. You can be both, but the friendship is then no longer platonic. It's either been elevated or tainted, but either way, it's not the same.

    If you want to maintain a genuine friendship, keep sex out of it. If you don't care about that, then you are probably not genuine friends to begin with.

  13. AngusNz profile image60
    AngusNzposted 13 years ago

    Generally not a good idea as the man most of the time is not interested in the friends part, take away the benefits and I am sure he would disappear. (this is a random statement, we are not all the same). Relationships mean different things for men and women. Its a biological thing.

  14. jaclyn8668 profile image60
    jaclyn8668posted 13 years ago

    no because it means something more to one of the people usually. it also will cause relationship problems with people in the future

  15. profile image49
    anonn123posted 12 years ago

    is it possible for both to feel something and end up together out of it all?

  16. Globetrekkermel profile image63
    Globetrekkermelposted 11 years ago

    It is impossible to lose or deny feelings on people you have have had romantic connection.Let's face it.Feelings with former loves never go away.The possibility of " relapse " is  unavoidable especially when you meet again after so many years. More so, if the relationship just fizzled out naturally and  did not end in a bitter one.Friendship is possible with benefits after you lay down the cards and make it clear that  each one of you have different lives now and you both wish each other well and keep the friendship that way.


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