Do you think obeying the rules 100% of the time hinders growth?
We all make mistakes and we all break the rules at some point in our lives. Learning from our mistakes is one of the most effective teaching tools. Therefore, the question is; what happens if a child/teen obeys every rule they're given, 100% of the time? Does that shelter them from normal human experiences? Does it put them at a disadvantage versus people who have broken the rules and learned from their mistakes? We make these rules to protect our children, but if followed religiously, would these rules hurt them? Where might you be if you had obeyed all your parents rules?
No, I don't believe it hinders growth but I do think it is impossible for any human to obey the rules 100% of the time. I believe some people intuitively know better and do not have to learn by making certain mistakes. If you put your hand in the fire and it burns then take it out. Most of us are aware of reprocussions for certain decisions but choose to do it anyways for many different reasons. But...are we really surprised of the outcome or were we hoping to get away with it?
I think it would be really strange if a child would follow the rules all the time. While we want our kids to be safe so we make the rules we also want them to use their own judgement and think. There was a case in Victorian England about 3 kids who were kidnapped. Only one escaped, when asked how he managed to do that, a child replied that the kidnapper had told them to follow him because the daddy said so. Only this child used logic and figured out that each child had a different daddy so something was wrong about the situation. He ran away while two other kids didn't because they obeyed blindly the stranger.
It really depends on what the 'rules' are. We do need rules and reasonable boundaries of behaviour- good morals, reasonable ethical decision making, not doing harm, being kind, self protection, staying away from outright dangerous behaviour all are essential to survival. We need to ensure the rules are generated through an understanding and exploration and not to be blindly obeyed and feared as they grow up.
However, obeying rules is not how humanity has developed. IF we are confined by the limitations of what has gone before we would have never dared to fly, sail, explore and challenge preconceptions. Rules are made based on what is known at that time and can seem very limiting and archaic when viewed retrospectively.
We would all be believing in a flat earth and that the sun went around the earth and that once you sail to the edge of world we would fall off if we went by the rules of the past!
Well, if I had followed all my parents rules I wouldn't be a mother right now and that's something I'm thankful for everyday. I do feel like if a child does nothing wrong, ever, they will be sheltered in the real world and may even miss out on oppurtunites. Everyone needs to make mistakes, especially children, because generally the younger you are the more you get away with. If a third grader plagerizes a paper and gets caught chances are they're not going to ever do it again. But if they didn't plagerize that paper in third grade, they may do it in college and get thrown out. So missing recess and getting lectured vs getting thrown out of a college and losing a bunch of money. It's better that kids learn their lessons when they're young when the consequences are less severe..
No, I think following the rules 100% is to self disciplined well.
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