This is Rediculous

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  1. pageantgirl31413 profile image81
    pageantgirl31413posted 13 years ago

    I have to tell you the story before I tell you what's rediculous.

    A close family friend of mine called us one day and told us that her husband of more than 25 years said he wanted a divorce (she had no clue anything was wrong). He did not ask for her retirement and he gave her alimony. We came to find out that he had cheated on her and ended up marrying the woman 2 months after the divorce was final. Now he came back and said he doesn't want to pay alimony and that he deserves her retirement pay.

    Now to the rediculous part. The courts agree'd with him. He cheated on her, ended their marriage, marries a woman 2 months later and doesn't have to pay a cent and gets a big chunk of her retirement money. That is just horrifying.

    Now to add, she is an absolutely gorgeous woman, who loved him with all her heart. She worked her butt off for him and he did this to her.

    This is just completely wrong.

  2. Misha profile image64
    Mishaposted 13 years ago

    Well, we heard just one side of the story. Oh, and btw, it is ridiculous tongue

    1. pageantgirl31413 profile image81
      pageantgirl31413posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      haha I knew it looked wrong. Sorry, only one hour of sleep last night to add to a total of 6 for the past week.

      1. Misha profile image64
        Mishaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        That hurts! Poor thing sad The best part is it will get better over time, I know smile

  3. thranax profile image74
    thranaxposted 13 years ago



  4. Davinagirl3 profile image60
    Davinagirl3posted 13 years ago

    What was the reason the judge gave for your friend having to give her retirement money to this guy?

    1. pageantgirl31413 profile image81
      pageantgirl31413posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      The only reason was because he said that they had been married for a long time.

      1. profile image0
        Leta Sposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        Are you saying he didn't work, or worked less or had less income that she did, so he gets support under her social security when he is of retirement age?

        Or that he gets her 401k or savings?

  5. Lady_E profile image64
    Lady_Eposted 13 years ago

    That's a pity.

    I believe in karma - you reap what you so.  Hopefully, in a few years time or sooner she will find happiness again. Meanwhile, her ex-hubby's wife would have probably left him.

    My heart goes out to her...

  6. pageantgirl31413 profile image81
    pageantgirl31413posted 13 years ago

    Oh and when he got a divorce, he said that it wasn't because of her at all. He said he got bored. He also mentioned that he wanted kids, however, they couldn't and had to resort to implantation. After a few failed times, he gave up even though she was still willing. When we talked to him, he could say one bad thing about her. A month after the divorce, he asked her to come back but she said she wasn't ready to. Then he got married the next month. He also ended up marrying a woman that could be her twin.

  7. Lady_E profile image64
    Lady_Eposted 13 years ago

    Maybe she could appeal if she gets a good Lawyer.

  8. sussiebrown profile image61
    sussiebrownposted 13 years ago

    I believe in 'what goes around... comes around', maybe in days to come his new wife finds a sexy, young man and they run off into the sunset... Oh and don't forget the divorce settlement!

  9. pageantgirl31413 profile image81
    pageantgirl31413posted 13 years ago

    Yeah I think she should but I think she's just done with this whole thing. It's been a complete shock and horrible disappointment. She says she just wants to move on and get on with her life.

  10. ledefensetech profile image68
    ledefensetechposted 13 years ago

    The only ones to win in a divorce are the lawyers.

  11. pageantgirl31413 profile image81
    pageantgirl31413posted 13 years ago

    Her 401K

  12. rmcrayne profile image92
    rmcrayneposted 13 years ago

    Probably had to do with the community property laws of the state they divorced in. 

    Was she military?  In most states, again due to community property laws, spouses usually get % of the retired pay per number of years together while on active duty. Doesn't matter who filed for divorce, who cheated, who worked or emotionally supported the most etc.

  13. lrohner profile image69
    lrohnerposted 13 years ago

    All I can say is, the b*stard got remarried to a very smart woman, as I'm sure she was behind the new-found interest in the retirement money. smile

  14. pageantgirl31413 profile image81
    pageantgirl31413posted 13 years ago

    Nope, noy military.

    I do think the new wife was behind it.

  15. profile image0
    girly_girl09posted 13 years ago

    From what I know, in most states (and in my state), once a court rules on alimony and other assets, the decision is final. Not sure why your friend lost her retirement plan (or 1/2 of it).

    How long has it been since they got divorced? What state? In most states, like mine, once you're divorced and both parties sign off on the assets/alimony and are legally divorced, you can't come back and demand money later on. You signed away your rights. It's final.

    Perhaps the divorce wasn't orchestrated correctly to begin with and this is why he was able to do this.

  16. zadrobi profile image61
    zadrobiposted 13 years ago

    If this isn't to inquisitive... what are people doing to help her? I'm not sure what I would do besides be there...

  17. zadrobi profile image61
    zadrobiposted 13 years ago


  18. pageantgirl31413 profile image81
    pageantgirl31413posted 13 years ago

    They had their divorce finalized about a year ago. He somehow was able to get them to allow him to stop paying alimony, maybe because he's married now? I don't know. However, She had an email from him stated that he didn't want her retirement money and that he wouldn't come after it. When he went to court this time, he was stating that he did say he wanted the retirement. So he goes in lying and she has proof of it and it still didn't matter.

    The only thing that we can do is be there. She was doing fine after he got married until he brought her back to court. She has a great job, a big new apartment and she had even started going out on dates. This just caused her pain all over again.


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