Is it best to stay in a marriage because of kids?

1. 70

   mommyneal6posted 13 years ago

   Is it best to stay in a marriage because of kids?
   
   The reason for getting out of the marriage is the two people who were high school sweethearts grew up and became different people and are no longer "in love" but still love each other.

   replyreport
2. 61

   chamiljposted 13 years ago

   Yes should stay. Otherwise it will be unfair to kids. They don't know adults problems.

   replyreport
3. 67

   SteadyHubsposted 13 years ago

   Yes! If the kids love both parents you should stay. Otherwise you are asking them to deal with something that they don't want to (the divorce) and you're not even willing to deal with something that you don't want to (the marriage). An adult should be far better equipped to handle tough life situations and not ask the kids to.

   replyreport
4. 80

   CJ Andrewsposted 13 years ago

   My parents are divorced.  When they got divorced it was a huge relief because of all the tension.  As I got older - I realized that I had no idea how to act in a relationship.  To this day I am learning.  I know this happens to a degree in all relationships, but to have to learn how two people are suppose to act etc. I am against divorce.
   
   I told my wife before we got married, she was stuck w/ me even if she hated me for sometime I wasn't going anywhere and we would have to figure out how to work at our marriage to make it work.  I won't let my children go through all the stuff I went through and marriage is a fight.  A fight to grow together, keep in contact, know each other, trust each other, get over hurt that one another caused each other, because I made a vow to that person (and more importantly I made a vow to myself about me and my actions).  And what that boils down to is me keeping my word and not only telling my kids how to grow up.  But to stand up and show my kids how to grow up.

   replyreport
5. 61

   nightwork4posted 13 years ago

   no you shouldn't stay because of kids. if the marriage is bad, the kids will notice and they might blame themselves, so who hurts the most from it?

   replyreport
6. 59

   jennawrposted 13 years ago

   If you have kids, then you need to go to a marriage and family therapy counselor! Make the marriage work! Sometimes it takes an effort from both sides. There will have to be some give and take but sometimes love hurts. You obviously were inlove at one time because you have kids..which are just an outward sign of that love. It will be hard but if you see a therapist and work hard to make compromises, you can stay together. Divorce is stupid. I am a child from a divorced family and I just hate it. I feel that it is such a selfish thing and I suffered a lot of issues from it. For me, it was not having a father around.
   Both parents are needed throughout a child's life. We need our mom and our dad. You should watch the movie Fireproof. Its a Christian movie about a couple who was having marriage problems but the husband takes on a 40-day love dare.. and has to do certain things every day for 40 days and it brings their marriage back to what it once was. I'm not saying this will work for you (I don't even know if you are a Christian).. but I'm just saying to seek help. Divorce is the easy way out for you and not the right answer.
   
   Remember, when you got married, you made vows to this man and he did in return. You can't stay at the pace you are at. You have to work at it. The kids will notice if you live together and hate each other.. but theywill also be wounded if you divorce. The best answer is to work at it. Maybe you are just in a rutt. Please feel free to message me if you have any further questions. I would love to help you if you need a friend.

   replyreport
7. 35

   edhanposted 13 years ago

   Love is something hard to define. But people tends to say they are no longer feeling loved. To me, it is an excuse. This may be due to the routine in life that is boring. Unlike during courtship, it is full of life.
   
   So, I believe couples should make some changes in their lives. Once a while you should be having the life like the courtship's days.

   replyreport
8. 76

   ginjill ashberryposted 13 years ago

   I do not encourage couples to divorce, since a lasting marriage normally has it shares of pain, heartache, struggles and forgiveness and willingness to see it through. A great marriage is build in mutual understandings, friendship, respect and trust.
   At some point, a person will realize whether the marriage is ever going to work or not. Each household has their own stories. I am brought up in a big family. Loving and affectionate families. There are nine of my father and his siblings. Five out of nine has a great marriage. One of them, try hard to work things. One hanged on bitterly and miserably. One had chose to end a long marriage with great relief.The youngest brother, a charming and good man, chose never to marry. He is in his mid forties and embracing life.
   Sometimes we have to make the tough decision. It may work for others and may not work another. Just don't throw in the towel before you give it your all.

   replyreport
9. 59

   fflores041985posted 13 years ago

   It's not the kids fault, they are never asked to be brought into this world. I changed a lot in my marriage more than once, good and bad. I just want to be a better father and husband now and look forward to that. I guess it depends on your mate. If they are willing to change than go for it. Now everyone has their limits. The story changes when your partner abuses you verbally or physically. You shouldn't expose yourself or your kids to that. I know of a marriage where the husband got so mad that he grabbed his gun and shot some rounds through his living room while his 7 year old daughter slept upstairs. Thank God no one got hurt, but this women( my wife's friend) is still with her husband. That's risking it too much but she can't do anything about it cause he is known as a good person to everyone else but her. So I guess if your life or your kid's life is not at risk then you should keep trying, but don't push your mate too hard into changing cause it's a hard thing to do and stressing too.

   replyreport
10. 60

    WriterDJposted 13 years ago

    A hard answer to say, you keep marriage but unhappy only because there is a kid. If you left marriage, kids definitely would have the impact... it is the matter how to choose a right person as your spouse in the beginning

    replyreport
11. 70

    dragonlady1967posted 13 years ago

    It depends on the marriage and the people.  I say this because I was married for 20 years, and finally got divorced.  There were many things I tried to hide throughout the marriage so the kids would not see.  However, after the divorce, I discovered they saw anyway no matter how hard I tried to hide things and protect them.  You should not stay married if you are in an abusive relationship no matter whether you have kids or not.  I did, now I regret that.  I firmly believe in the vows, however, the other person has to believe them as well.  Marriage is love and respect, and very adult.  The kids should not have to suffer for bad adult behavior.  It teaches them the wrong ideas about love and how you should be treated, or treat other people.  Remember, we as parents are their teachers.

    replyreport
12. 60

    dustbunnieposted 13 years ago

    I will speak from experience! My parents divorced when i was 16 and it was the biggest relief ever!! from the age of 12 on all I remember my parents doing is arguing constantly! And I mean constantly...the tension was so thick at my house you could cut it with a knife. You never knew when a big argument was gonna start But when it did you didnt want to be there!Even though alot of the time they tried to shelter me from things, I knew. I caught on to more than they thought I did.
    To be honest I wish they would of divorced sooner,I didnt need the stress and I know they didnt.
    My parents were high school sweethearts aswell,I hear so many storys of how high school sweethearts marry,have kids then split. Its sad but true. But to answer your question...No!!!!! Its more damaging being around the tension and arguing than just dealing with the split up!

    replyreport
13. 69

    puddingicecreamposted 13 years ago

    In some cases, a divorce may even benefit the children.

    replyreport