Is it better to treat children as equals or not?

1. 60

   JBBlackposted 13 years ago

   Is it better to treat children as equals or not?

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2. 75

   K. Burns Darlingposted 13 years ago

   Not.  A parent is a parent, or at least that is the way that it should be. If you treat a child as your equal, then you are attempting to be their friend and not a parent, and treating them like a friend undermines your authority, and children need to have an authority figure who sets boundaries and enforces the rules.

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3. 77

   moiragallagaposted 13 years ago

   They should not be treated as equals. I agree with K. Burns Darling. It is not a parent's responsibility or role to be his/her child's friend. It is a parent's responsibility to raise their child to be a productive member of society and the community they live in.

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4. 59

   milo3472posted 13 years ago

   I believe there is a reason for the two definitions, parent and child. If we treat a child as an equal, can we then expect a stop to snotty noses and temper tantrums, gales of laughter and unconditional love? Are the parents now allowed to spill the milk and play hooky?
   
   Hey wait a minute.... maybe you're on to something here!!!

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5. 60

   JBBlackposted 13 years ago

   How about other peoples children, teenagers?

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6. 65

   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   I imagined myself as kind of a "team leader" when it came to my three children.  I was the one who set the rules and the overall "agenda"; and I established a kind of "take-it-for-granted" thing that meant they just sort of saw me as that "team leader".  I wasn't just a "team leader" though.  I was also the one they knew would protect them and do what I could to help them deal with, or put into perspective, any problems/sadness that arose.
   
   THEN, though, how I interacted with them, and saw them, was with the same kind of respect that I expected them to show toward me.  (So basically, the word "treat" is one that I don't see as "all one thing".)  Besides respecting them as separate human beings from myself, I also made it a point (as a parent, aka "team leader") to let them know how absolutely valued, adored, and treasured they were.  I once read that genuine and healthy love must always include both respect and admiration.  I had, and showed, both of those toward my children.  It's possible to do that but still be that "team leader" who establishes a basic framework of rules and how things will be done.
   
   I didn't want my children to be "my little servants", or "trophies" or "subordinates" or "objects" or even "cutesy little dolls".  I remembered how it felt to be a young children and how important it is not to feel dismissed or demeaned or disregarded as a child.

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7. 0

   Starmom41posted 13 years ago

   equals, yes;  peers, no. 
   and there's a huge difference.

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