Should my husband and I be allowed to adopt?
I am disabled for a congenital heart disease. My husband has drug felons on his record from five years ago. He works in a drug and alcohol rehab working with teens. We already have a daughter who is healthy and happy. We are allowed to foster children, which the government would pay us for. Should we be allowed to adopt?
To be honest I could not say yes or know as I don't know your particular circumstances.
We had a successful adoption and would recommend it for people that cannot have a natural birth.
Having said that, I believe that if you are successful in adopting you need to be honest with the child. There is nothing worse than the child thinking you are their natural parents only to be told by a jealous or hurtful person that they are adopted.
We told our son right from the start that we chose him and that he was special.
Whether you adopt or have your own child naturally is no guarantee that either will love and respect you.
All children have their own personalities and are very different and the best loved child can still go off the tracks and cause heartache.
Good luck. Fostering would surely fill a useful emptiness knowing that you are caring for that child and giving them your love so if the adoption does not work out you still have that option.
My husband does not want to have me foster. I would be too attached and it would be emotionally devastating for me to have kids come and go in my life. But between my heart condition and his "recent" felons makes adoption nearly impossible. Even though the state laws that regulate who can adopt are the same as who can foster. What I do not understand is that the government is willing to pay us for just being foster parents, but will not let us pay them to adopt...It just does not make sense in my mind.
But I am very happy that you adoption was successful.
Well, leave it to the government to confuse us once again. You say you can't adopt, but you can foster. Bah...sometimes there's just no sense. Anyway...fostering is a wonderful way to make a difference in someone's life. I've never fostered, but to put a bit of a loose parallel on it, my wife and I do foster dogs. Forgive the comparison, but there ARE comparisons. You have to learn to love and cherish in order to give the best to your "child", but also to prepare yourself for the day it's time to let go. I don't know you, therefore I don't know your ability to do that. It's not easy...but if you can align yourself with the fact that's it's a service to the child, giving them warmth and love and preparing them for their future home, I think it's a fine thing. And you'll also be giving their permanent parents a gift, by making their new son or daughter more prepared to live in a happy safe home, before they get to their final destination. God bless and good luck.
It doesn't make sense to me either that you would be allowed to foster, but not adopt -- maybe they want to retain the right to take the kids back if anything happens? While I know I couldn't foster for the same reasons you state, depending on what age of kids you're interested in, it might be worth discussing it with Family Services. Many fosters, especially for older kids, end up being long-term if it's a good fit with the foster family. A very good friend of mine went into the foster care system when she was 10, and if it hadn't been for a violation on the part of the foster home when she was 15, that would have continued to be her home (they still remain her family, though...she stays in contact and visits them for the holidays). My own husband went into the foster system when he was 13, and after a few initial bad fits, he came to a foster home where he was eventually adopted by his foster mom. When she started fostering, she wasn't eligible for adoption either -- she had four biological kids, and there had been some domestic abuse issues in his foster father's past. Because of her foster history, they eventually let her adopt both of her foster boys, even though by that point she was single.
I am an adoption assessor, so I am a social worker who approves/disapproves families for adoption in my state. Each state is different as to what the requirements are for adoption. Just because your husband has "felonies" does not mean that he is automatically disqualified to be an adoptive parent. It would depend on the degree of the felony and the actual offense. Obviously, if it was a violent crime or a crime against a child, it would not be feasable for him to adopt.
Your heart condition may or may not also disqualify you. You would be required to have a medical evaluation completed and the doctor would need to give his professional opinion as to whether or not your health condition would interfere with your ability to parent.
It wasn't clear to me if you had actually inquired about adoption. My advice would be to talk with an adoption professional in your state to see if your circumstances would disqualify you from adopting.
by ANISH N R K 3 years ago
Why many childless couples do not adopt, while some with biological children adopt another kid?Many couples who are childless, do not adoptMany parents who also have biological kids adopt another oneMany orphans are waiting for an adoptionwhy such paradox?
by theirishobserver. 8 years ago
Same sex couples are not allowed to adopt children in Ireland.....
by igniter8503 13 months ago
Why don't people care for their kids anymore??In today's world we see more parents not taking care of their kids the right way either ditching them with other people to take care of or no caring for them in general why do you think this???Their is more kids growing up in foster care or with grand...
by waterbottle 2 years ago
i feel as if they need another chance, because most of the time it is not their fault for the position that they are in. so tell me how you all think about this topic... and also would You ever become a foster parent?
by ValL 7 years ago
Should same sex couples be allowed to adopt or foster a child?
by Kawai 19 months ago
If you adopt a child would you tell him/ her that he/she was adopted, and if so when?If you adopted a child who is the same race as you (so basically nobody would know you adopted unless you tell), would you tell the child he/she was adopted? If so, would you tell the child since they are young or...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|