As a child and teen, were your parents forgiving or critical of you when you made mistakes?
Both. There were times they were critical, and there were those days of grace. However, they always try to do it with love.
My parents were of the old school, we were strictly disciplined. However, that being said, we were taught that we can handle anything and IF we messed up, THEN we get it fixed up. The natural consequences were our punishment and they were there by our sides the whole way. Once it was handled, correctly, then it was over. Period. So....maybe a bit of both, but in a responsible way!
I was reared up by truly, " old school" Grandparents.........meaning they were very strict!
There were lines that one simply did not dare to cross. Sometimes the lines were not clearly defined.
In 2 or 3 of my scariest situations, I found great compassion.
When, the only time, that I was in trouble at school, it was because I was in a physical fight to defend my younger sibling.
I was " afraid" to go home, but had no where else to go, so I went home, dread and fear, in every single footstep. Agony was my shadow.
What I expected, was the 'woodshed', though, I have never been there, it was a place of great fear.................
What I found was, " I am proud of you for taking care of your own".........
Now, that I am one of each of them.............I really do understand it better, now that I am older, and " one day " has arrived~~~~~~~~~
My mom was critical and I was never good enough no matter how well I did. I actually feared her and disliked to be confronted by her.
My parents were loving but had very high expectations of me. I could never meet them. I don't understand why other than I was a good student. My mother did not believe in compliments as she thought it would give us a swelled head. The late Tim Russert mentioned his parents and the swelled head theory in his book about his father. That theory is out of sight but shows difference in generations. I guess they were critical but it was a sign of the times.
Mine were always very forgiving. It doesn't mean that there weren't consequences if I broke rules, but they always took the time to help me get the most out of those mistakes. A mistake is always worth making if you can learn from it, and how else are we going to figure things out for ourselves?
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