Can one ever get over a mother that has always treated her last or not at all?
I've heard of love/hate relationships between mothers and daugthers. Is there anyway a daugther can ever get over a mother that has always treated her last or not at all after the boys?
Boy that will take therapy and lots of patience. It's a matter of realizing that it really has nothing to do with you. Easier said than done. I have been thwarted in exile by a mother that finds my ways a typical and my mistakes more than my worth. Letting go of what I wanted from her has set up a journey of self-healing.
Lots of luck!
The answer is yes, absolutely. You're already on your way because you realize this is an obstacle in your life and you've decided you want to overcome it. The problem is your mother's and unfortunately you are collateral damage. What I've always taught my daughters about being abused or mistreated by people is this -- you can't change the other people or their actions toward you. BUT, you can change your reaction to them. While it's harder when it's your mother who is mistreating you, your job is the same -- change your reaction. Know in your heart that it's not you who let her down, it's not you who is at fault, it's not you who lacks the knowledge to do better. You'll have to value yourself and be your own cheerleader and support. You can do it.
One of the things I have learned as a psych major is the fact that getting over the impression or truth that a parent does not love them, is one of the toughest emotional battles to fight.
But just as with anything else, "recovery" depends on a person's emotional and mental stability, and general outlook on life.
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