Is it necessary to raise your kids Tiger Mom style?

1. 85

   ezhangposted 13 years ago

   Is it necessary to raise your kids Tiger Mom style?
   
   

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2. 61

   greatparentingposted 13 years ago

   I think it's necessary to raise kids who have integrity and determination but the "Tiger Mom" is not something anyone should emulate. A "tiger" for whom nothing is ever good enough can raise a kid who achieves great things but she can also raise a kid who goes through life under incredible pressure who often feels like a failure in her mother's eyes. It is possible to raise children with high expectations but they should know that trying hard is what counts. Aiming high is great but it's unrealistic for a child to always feel that being #1 is the only measure of success. The "tiger" mom pushed her kids too hard. There's a difference between pushing and unconditional support and love. Your kids have to know that you love them no matter what they achieve. You love them for who they are. If they never go to Harvard or Yale (and most don't) they deserve all the love and support to take with them wherever they end up.

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3. 74

   DIMIRposted 13 years ago

   I've known a lot of kids who were raised with that type parenting style, and some of them are academically successful, but hey have real problems with depression and self-image.  You risk sacrificing mental health for monetary success in many cases, but sometimes mothers do have to push their children.  Finding a better balance between just "nothing is perfect" and "whatever you want" is the best option.

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4. 84

   gmwilliamsposted 11 years ago

   I believe in raising a child to be self-motivated, confident, and use his/her utmost human potential.  This should be done in a loving and caring way.  Parents who incessantly push their children to achieve and to be always #1 will have children who are highly stressed.  Such children furthermore feel as if they are performing for their parents instead of doing and accomplishing things for themselves.  These children do not have self-motivatiion.   One of the most important components to success is self-motivation.  Another one is confidence in one's abilities. 
   
   The Tiger Mom methodology is raising and motivating children to be outer and/or other directed instead of inner directed.  Children raised in the Tiger Mom methodology are achieving because "that is what is expected" instead of achieving "because they want to and have the potential to do so."   Children who are inner directed are happier and achieve more than those who are outer directed and are achieving to please their parents.
   
   Furthermore, children who are pushed to achieve will eventually resent their parents and will eventually not want to achieve.  They will equate achievement with obligation and drudgery.  Compare a child who is forced to take piano lessons to one who wants to learn piano.  The former is just going through the motions while the latter actually enjoys what he/she is doing.  Forcing/pushing a child to achieve will turn him/her off from the given task at hand.  He/she will learn to dread and if necessary, avoid that task for he/she sees negative associations with it.   It is best to raise children with a love and passion regarding learning and achievement.   Pushing children will only destroy this love of learning and achievement which will negatively impact upon them throughout life.

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