How do you help a teenage girl who is being bullied at school?
I personally seek out the bully and scare the crap out of her!!! Seriously, If you know the parents of the bully, get in your car and head over to their house. I have found that being direct and teaching my daughter to stand up for herself through example has helped a lot. It also helps if you can get teachers and law enforcement to back you up. Sending a clear message to anyone who challenges your daughter that they will have to answer for it, especially at the onset. So stop em in their tracks daddy and you may want to enroll your daughter in a good Karate class, helps with self -esteem!
I agree with wildove5! I'm a firm believer that we teach people how to treat us. If we show our kids how to stick up for themselves and value themselves, they are much better prepared for the journey on their own when the day comes. Situations like these can scar kids for life, affecting their future personal relationships.
Bullies are a big issue these days and it seems as if we are leaving it up to our young adults to deal with this head on. I truly believe adults should be far more active in prevention and intervention when it comes to bullies. But if she really has to deal with this on her own I'd tell her to avoid the person as much as possible. Take safer routes, be visible as much as possible. If there's taunting then ignore it. Hard things to do but safety would be my number one concern for her.
I hope this helps in some way.
Thanks! Very good answers. However it is not just one person. My daughter is almost 13 and her closest friend is a boy so other boys tease her about dating. They teased her (boy) friend so much at the last school dance that he never wants to go to another dance. Dealing with one bully is somewhat easy. But what educators fail to realize is that it is rarely just one person. It is usually the subversive behavior of severl kids acting out under the radar so when the victom complains they have no way to support their claim.
I am reading a great book "Odd Girl Out" about how girls gang up on other girls in very subversive ways. They are all sugar-n-spice to the teachers but inflict pain and suffering on their victoms. Too bad they can't be like boys and have public fights in the halls.
She needs self-confidence and methods of winning. Try Judo or Thai Boxing. That way she can defend herself to anything if necessary. Those are proper methods of winning (not those martial arts with the colors, belts and breaking blocks. those are more for show and not for defense. they work when fighting someone who knows the same fighting style.). Just try to get her self-confidence which she can get when practicing Judo or Thai Boxing. Also, she needs to understand that the thoughts of others don't matter if what they say is not true. And if it is true, then you have to deal with it. Acceptance.
It's what helped me during my time at school and still helps at work and college.
I suggest that the best thing to do would be to let her know that you are there for her. If you you confront the bully it may just make it worse for the victim. Also, if you pressure her into trying to get help she may turn on you.Advise her to confide in someone she trusts and to tell a responsible adult. Also, try boosting her self confidence.If she can stick up for herself, the bully may leave her alone. I am a teenage girl and this is what i would want someone to do if i was in this situation.
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