How would you handle your child being bullied at school?

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  1. shamani67 profile image61
    shamani67posted 7 years ago

    How would you handle your child being bullied at school?

    I ask this as my eldest daughter has been the subject of bullying since she started school. She is now in her final year of primary school and will be going to high school next year.  Would love to hear from others who have had this happen to their own children

  2. Melovy profile image96
    Melovyposted 7 years ago

    My daughter had this experience (with some girls who were supposedly her friends) and after some consideration I spoke to the teacher who handled it extremely well. Perhaps you have already done that however so want something else. Here in the  UK by law parents are allowed to see the school’s anti-bullying policy, but I don’t know about other countries. This would let you know if school is doing all they can.

    Ironically bullies often want to be close to the person they bully and just don’t know how to express that, and knowing that might help your daughter feel more confident.  (I am not suggesting you encourage her to mix with them, I actually encouraged my daughter to find other friends.) The main thing is to help you and your daughter feel more confident - this probably sounds easier said than done, especially since confidence does suffer when bullied. And children are such mirrors of ourselves, that if you feel lacking in self-esteem then getting support for yourself would help her enormously. I have used The Work (Byron Katie) to question many of my beliefs in the last 7 years or so and it made a huge difference to how I feel about myself, so would recommend that or perhaps NLP or CBT as many people find them helpful for confidence, and all 3 are also suitable for children.

    I wish you well.

  3. ubanichijioke profile image74
    ubanichijiokeposted 7 years ago

    I won't take it. I will go to the school and make a complaint or better still handle it my own way!

  4. shamani67 profile image61
    shamani67posted 7 years ago

    Thanks for your answers. I put it out there as I know so many do suffer this.
    I handled it by going to the school myself and having it out with the teachers. I even went so far as to bring the Police into it. The school was very obliging. They even went so far as to put a teacher on my daughter during recess and lunch times. However they cannot be everywhere and when their guard is down is when the bullies make their moves.
    I have many times thought of going and snotting the little brats myself, but then I would not be any better than them and would probably end up in jail because of it.
    I thought it was a good topic to put up for anyone that is affected by this.
    I thank everyone for their input. Now and future. Thanks and Cheers.

  5. James Halpin profile image67
    James Halpinposted 7 years ago

    When my daughter was in 3rd grade there was a boy bullying her on the bus.  When I had called the school about the boy. They wanted to brush it off because he was a kindergarden student. For  which I threatened calling the police.  They took care of it really quick.  I did have to call police because he was outside our house and was bullying her.  His mom was just trying to blame everyone else for the way he acts.  But when his father caught wind of how he was acting he straightened up.  Just goes to show you that a lot of bullying stems from the parents.

  6. Paradise7 profile image81
    Paradise7posted 7 years ago

    I feel for your daughter.  It must have made school a living hell for her, to suffer from bullies for that long, extended period of time.  I wish her well and hope you can find a solution.

    I was bullied as a kid; my mom did try to intervene.  I'm afraid it only made matters worse in the long run.  However, I did learn to deal with it on my own terms, after a long while.

    The school bullies are setting a very bad precedent for their future lives.  They will not succeed and be happy by doing bad things to other people.

  7. prektjr.dc profile image82
    prektjr.dcposted 7 years ago

    I am so glad you took action.  You are right, no one can be there 100% of the time, but you taught your daughter that it was important to stand up and DO something.  This question brought back many memories!  I had to write a hub about it before I could even answer it as I didn't realize I was still aggrevated by the situation.  The main thing I would say is stand up and keep at it until it stops. I wish your daughter well.

  8. lburmaster profile image83
    lburmasterposted 7 years ago

    Put him or her in self-protection programs from the age of 5 so they will be ready for it. I was bullied and still am. A child who is bullied will be bullied for the rest of their life. Either at school, at work, possibly even at home in the family. My brother was also bullied. Since I was already bullied, I didn't think it could get any worse for me. So I stepped in and was bullied for him. Now I just think bullies are pathetic and laugh at them while they blacken my eye. They have force, I have mental intelligence. Who is going to have the better future?

  9. duffsmom profile image60
    duffsmomposted 7 years ago

    I'm afraid I would not handle it well or according to PC thinking.  I would take my daughter out of school rather than have her self-esteem eroded on a daily basis--it will leave a mark.

    My daughter wasn't bullied, but was very shy.  She started taking TaeKwonDo lessons, not to beat someone up, but to protect herself and she just loved it.  It changed her entire outlook on life and gave her a very special awareness of what she would do to take care of herself.  She stayed with it and became a blackbelt as a teenager.

  10. freecampingaussie profile image61
    freecampingaussieposted 7 years ago

    Hi,   I wrote this to try help those being bullied at school or work . it is cruel and should be stopped by the teachers. … -At-School

    I hope it is helpful.

  11. edhan profile image34
    edhanposted 7 years ago

    It had happened to my son when he was in primary school. What I did at that time was approached the bully and had a talk with him. Made him understood that he would need to face me if he continued to bully my son.

    From that day onwards, he kept away from my son.

  12. mcrawford76 profile image81
    mcrawford76posted 7 years ago

    Unfortunately there are no easy ways or quick fixes to deal with bullies. But from my experience this is the advice I offer.

    1. Telling a teacher or principle is only going to worsen the situation. It's going to make the bully KNOW that you are afraid of him or her and will the propagate more bullying regardless of threats or punishments.

    2. A bully's power comes from fear and hurt. The simple solution (for me) was not to be afraid and to at least pretend not to be hurt by their words. This is not easy for most people. But it can grow with confidence, which brings me to my last point.

    3. The ability to defend yourself is one that cannot be replaced with anything else. Being confidant that you can handle yourself in a physical altercation will make it possible to to shrug off the hurtful words of others. I have four daughters (3 of which were enrolled in public school, we are now homeschooling since we've seen the vast deficiencies in our public school system) And all three of them are taught self defense on a regular basis (by me as I have been trained to be law enforcement, though we have rented a few videos that focus specifically on girls and on children) And with enough practice I saw their confidence grow and reports of bullying all but stopped.

  13. profile image54
    SpaceAgeposted 7 years ago

    I have a friend who revealed a bully experience. the whole school knew this kid was a bully. 1 day, the bully bothered my friend 4 the last time, b-c he busted the bully's nose. my friend never got in any trouble over this since it was considered self-defense.


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