i would say by letting them make lil decisions on there own and when you ask them to do something let them do it even if they don't do correctly/
This is a great question when asked while the kids are young. Even from the age of 3 on, kids start taking behavioural clues from their environment, parents, baby sitters, classmates and teacher, television and the internet. Preaching to kids does not work, punishing kids often, nagging or scolding them does not really work either. It is important they understand the "line" and consequences, but if it is made clear where the line is, then if they don't cross it, the little things should not be blown up into big things else it leads to rebelliion.
Patience, guidance, setting a good example (not cursing on the phone in front of them or acting like a complete idiot and then wondering where they got the behavior from). There are many good books on the subject, thanks for asking, but you reap what you sew when it comes to kids...
I'd suggest the following tactics! This is what I did. It may not be for everyone. I did raise two very self sufficient boys though.
When they are little, let them play on their own, doing what they like inside a play pen in the beginning or in their room when they get one.
Let them get dirty and noisy, anything, as long as they are not being watched over by you (apparently!).
While you do the chores, they do theirs too (even if it is just banging on pan lids on the floor). Never stop doing what you have to do because of your child. Just explain how you/we have to do this and that and keep on going. They get used to it. It is better than being concerned with what they want, because they don't know what they want (after they are washed, fed and loved).
I'd suggest giving them time to run free in the country, if possible. This is where they use their imaginations and play adventurous games together with their brother or sister or friend and learn how to be on their own without parents. They feel great.
(Adventure summer camps if you can afford them if you don't have the countryside. Or visits with family and friends in the country if you have them.)
People do a lot of explaining this and that all the time. Yes, I agree, it is important to explain what they need to know, but it is more important to get on with your life (because you are SO busy) and make them understand that there's stuff to be done...(because they are not the center of the universe, they are a part of it).
Being creative. A child is happy making things. When the child is pleased with him/herself, he/she earns herself/himself confidence.
Children need daily chores such as helping with the bed, folding the pyjamas, putting the toothbrushes in the mug, sweeping the floor, washing the dishes. They need to be a part of their family and all that the family has to do to keep things running smoothly.
They need a little pocket money when they grow up, and a savings piggy so they can look forward to getting their treats and 'dreams' through their own organizational skills. (and having to do without when they mis-did it all).
I'd say not too much TV or computer games...regulate it...instead, they do creative things, or play with neighbors, or help you.
I agree with others here who said to allow children to make some of their own decisions--under parent supervision of course.
Also it is so important to teach children to do things--cooking, cleaning,laundry, responsibly managing money, etc. AND to teach them the "whys" of things. Whenever I explain how to do something, I always explain why I am doing what I do. I think this helps raise children who can do things for themselves and understand what they are doing. They are not simply robots following directions--they can think for themselves and make good decisions.
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