Is it ever alright to ask a child to lie?

1. 84

   Lady Wordsmithposted 13 years ago

   Is it ever alright to ask a child to lie?
   
   I'll leave it there for now - interested to know what the initial response might be to this.

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2. 0

   msorenssonposted 13 years ago

   To ask a child to lie deliberately, No. But to lie or not to lie is not a question of absolutes, rather a question of judgment. What you ought to teach your child instead is how to judge correctly. Please watch "The Bonfire of the Vanities"..one of my most favorite films...

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3. 59

   klayneposted 13 years ago

   Yes! Actually I think it's important to teach your child when to lie, and when not to. In general people automatically jump to the conclusion that lieing is bad, not thinking about all the harmless lies they themselves tell on an everyday basis. In our society knowing when to lie and how to do it politely is part of having good manners.
   
   For example, how many times have you heard a child point out someone's flaws? How often to you hear of children telling about gifts or surprises they arent supposed to talk about? And how often do you hear of that one kid at school that ruins Santa Clause for everyone else?
   
   White lies are a necessary part of life, and a natural part of being human. Lieing to your kids is also necessary sometimes in order to help them understand things usually beyond their comprehension or to encourage creative and imaginative growth.
   
   I have this debate all the time with other mothers, and I personally would rather instill the ability to descern between the right time and the wrong time to lie, rather than humiliating some stranger in the supermarket.
   
   But I suppose it's really up to the individual parent, as with most parenting decisions, what is right for one may be wrong for another. So if your child cannot grasp the difference between good and bad lies, than maybe you should just tell them all lies are bad.

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4. 72

   moonfairyposted 13 years ago

   I automatically think of a friend of mine who is a new grandparent and she always asks her granddaughter who she likes better. The granddaughter always says she loves her best...but I also know the OTHER grandmother and she is told the same thing. So it's a little white lie that saves both grandmother's ego.
   The game they are playing is an evil one...I know. But they're both trying to win this little girl over and it's not nice to watch. So this child lies....so as not to hurt anyone. In this case I think the lie is okay.

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5. 71

   Twilight Lawnsposted 13 years ago

   There are lies and there are lies and there are lies.
   We all owe it to our children to prepare them properly for life.  This is obvious and it is why parents have children and all that stuff.
   How would you feel if one, or all, of your boys wanted to become Politicians or Bankers or Estate Agents, and you hadn’t given them a grounding in the bare necessities of life and expected to go out into the world poorly equipped and unable to lie convincingly?
   They would become failures, and you would never forgive yourself.
   Teach them to lie and if possible, beat every veracious little bone out of their bodies, right now, and make them something to be proud of in your Autumn years.
   I am sorry, I cannot go on, I am becoming too emotional.

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6. 60

   duffsmomposted 13 years ago

   Asking a child to lie in a given situation might seem necessary - but it opens up huge problems for the future.  You can't explain to a child that you want them to always be honest with you, yet lie in a particular instance.

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7. 60

   Mac31posted 13 years ago

   It is never alright to ask a child to lie.  This creates bad habits and this will eventually lead into another lie and then another.  As a parent I would not have my child lie and I would make sure that if she did lie about anything that she would have to be punished for it.

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8. 0

   Lizam1posted 13 years ago

   Well I think on the whole it is not OK - children are so innocent that teaching them to lie is manipulative.  However in a certain circumstance say to protect them from someone who is harmful then it may be necessary but only if it is put into context and depends on the age and emotional stability of the child.

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9. 55

   Ferraoposted 13 years ago

   A human being with a well formed conscious will never ask a child to lie. It is not a good thing to teach a child to tell lies. In order to defend one lie you in turn will have to tell a series of lies. but even if you ask a child to tell a lie he will. say for example dad asks his child to tell a stranger at his door that dad is not home, he will tell that dad has told me to tell you that dad is not at home. This shows that the child is so sincere that he ends up telling the truth. A day might come that the child might  tell bigger lies.  Child's conscious forms the way you mould it.

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10. 60

    aza yueposted 13 years ago

    I think it is so bad to ask a child to lie. The child will lie many times in the future.It will leave a bad effection for him.

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11. 60

    ayliss08posted 13 years ago

    Well, I think it depends on the occasion. Some little white lies are ok, I think.

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