What are the worst lies parents and other adults tell kids, and why do you think they lie?
I know that adults often lie about things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. However, how about when they tell scary stories to make kids behave, or when they lie about family problems? What other lies do adults tell? Do you think it is wrong?
I think it is very wrong when a parent allows a kid to do something, or they do something with them that the other parent is vehemently against, and the offending parent tells the kid, "Don't tell mom/dad. It's are little secret." The children not only realize the parent is a liar, but that it is okay for the child to lie and keep secrets that should not be secret.
A lot of times when families are broken up, one parent will tell the children lies about the other parent. My ex told my small boy that I was having an affair with the pastor. Rather ironic since he was the one always straying. It devastated my son and my relationship with my son. If parents are divorcing, they need to not bad mouth the other parent, and especially tell lies about them.
Very good question.
This has been a hot topic here on Hubpages. Every lie is the worst lie. When ever a lie is told, it devalules the liar and the person being lied to. It teaches that lying is a legitimate method of dealing with people.
Lying says that a person is simply not worth being told the truth.
All of that said, it does not mean that everything needs to be divulged. Silence or "none of your business" are resonable responses.
Do you really want you child to find out that the iconic myths of youth are really bogus from some nasty child on the school yard?
Every person/child deserves the truth. Besides then you don't have to remember what you lied.
Lies aren't always concrete nor are their reasons. I think we are always inventing things to make things work or less appalling to one who many not agree with our opinons/behaviors.
Generally a lie breeds only more lies and then the road to deception becomes far too long to return home.
These are my own personal views................
When a loved one dies..............do not tell the child that , they " went to sleep".........kids will fear sleep..........
If the deceased was a true cad, a real meanace to society, and we are better off without that presence in our lives...........do not tell the child that they " went to heaven"............when in fact, you, yourself are unsure.
( this is not a debate about Heaven vs Hell, it is about misleading kids )
Do not tell the child........you will understand in time...........the truth is........this is a terrible thing, and I HOPE you never have to deal with it..............time does not make us wise...........losses and experiences do......"time" simply means, more losses and more tragic experiences.
I was 4, when I saw the lightning bolt, that struck the family dog, in the chest and took her life away..........
Today, at 50, I am not a single step closer to understanding " why".
Why it happened, why it happened in front of me, why I remember it............I still, do not know.
Sometimes, just tell your kids...............I do not know, and sometimes, the wonder of it all, keeps me awake..................it is "ok", to wonder, marvel, question and not to know.
Tell the kids........go to sleep and ponder it tomorrow........you...might unlock the answer.
Life is not so much about what you tell or teach your children..........it is far more about the hope you give them for the tomorrows ahead.
I love your answer about the kind of lies we should not tell our children. I agree that it is far better to just say "I do not know" sometimes, than to make up a lie that may only confuse or hurt children more. Thanks for your thoughtful comment.
I hate lying to my kids, even the little white lies. I think if I try to explain things at their level, say, regarding money, it is reassuring for them. For example, one of my daughters asked me when we are going to have money like we used to. I told her that we actually had more money than we used to but were trying to catch up with all the money we used to spend when we didn't really have it. That seemed to satisfy her.
Sometimes when they ask me if we can do a particular thing over the weekend, like go to the mall or attend some event, etc....I say "maybe" or "we'll see". My oldest daughter always tells me that "maybe" means we actually might, and "we'll see", definitely means no. Laugh laugh. She's on to me. It's not really a lie, more of a hedging strategy.
Anyway, I digress. Good question though.
Thank you for your comments about lying. My daughters always told me that if I said, "I'll think about it," I really meant "no." I had to laugh when I read your comments, because it doesn't take long for our children to figure us out, does it?
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