Do you have any suggestions on helping my teenage son with the loss of his dad?
He recently started seeing a psychologist. However, I was wondering if there is something more I can do to help him.
My thought would be to bring out the Bible and read John 11:11-14 where it talks about death as a deep sleep. I found this link for you where it has all excerpts in the Bible. That may help some Sorry for the loss
http://www.bibleinfo.com/en/content/wha … y-about-it
Unfortunately no. This is a loss that will only heal with time. Professional grief counseling would probably be a good idea. Keep the good memories alive and if there were any special things his dad did with him (like fishing,etc) make sure you create opportunities for those things to continue in his fathers memory. Either you carry out those activities yourself or have an uncle or friend. If you know soneone who went through something similar as a teen have them talk to your son because someone who understands what he is going through can probably help him the most. Some grief counselingis done in groups for thatreason. Watch your son carefully for changes in behavior and talk to him if anything concerns you. Take care of yourself so you can support your son.
I don't know anything about being a teenage boy who has lost their father, but I know an awful lot about being a teenage girl who lost their mom; and I remember how more than anything I hated it when people would say to me, "I know how you feel, I lost my...(fill in the blank with someone other than mother)" I remember how I hated feeling different, (what teenager wants to feel different?), and I remember how I just desperately wanted to be heard; so the best advice that I can give to you is to remain open and honest, be sympathetic, but don't offer pity, don't treat him with kid gloves, try to keep things as normal as possible, and be available to listen when and if he wants to talk. Reassure him, that in time it will get better, but be realistic, this isn't something that he is going to get over, losing a parent is life changing, and now his life is forever changed. In time the sting will lessen, but he will have moments, some big and some small that will bring it all back. Encourage him to find a positive outlet, (mine was writing), and allow him to go through the stages of grief at his own pace. Try not to worry too much. It isn't much as far as advice goes, but I do hope that it helps.
First, I am sorry for your loss.
This is a tough one. My daughter lost her dad when she was 5 five years old and she has a book that we all wrote letters in and included memories of some of the things they did together to help keep his memory. the book for was given to her so she can read the letters, the memories and add her own.
She's 17 now and she writes letters to him telling him about what's going on in her life. That seems to help her. My daughter found it harder when she became a teenager so I can't imagine how hard this must be for your son.
Contact a local church or hospital to see if they have a grief counseling group for teenagers. If they don't ask your son if he would like to start one. It might do him good to have other children his age to relate to and talk to.
And, how about you, how are you doing? My prayers go to you both because I have been where you are and know that this must be just as hard for you.
My daughter is just a child but I have done a lot of reading about it in efforts to have her heal. Giving him the opportunity to express himself either to you or to another is the ultimate goal. Young men may feel they have to keep a stiff upper lip in order to take care of the family. If there was a close uncle or someone who has plenty of stories about his dad that is willing to spend some time with him, you can send him hiking or nature walking with that person.
Getting back to nature was important in both my daughter and my healing. It was away from the world around us. It was like a mental break from reality and we could choose to think or finally stop thinking if we wanted to. Sometimes it is good just to be still.
Perhaps look for an aggressive outlet for him. This can be a benefit when dealing with extreme emotion. I would recommend something that keeps him connected with others like martial arts tho a simple gym membership would be good to blow off some steam.
Good luck and many blessings
Talk to your son, not at your son. Don't tell him you know how he feels, you only know how you feel. Talk with your son about his dad, don't allow silences to appear between you. If he wants to talk to someone other than you, do not be hurt he is simply expressing a little independence.
Lastly don't keep asking him questions, he hasn't got the answers yet, give him space.
I wish you all you wish yourself.
I read your hub "Dear John, We Love You And It's Okay" and it is easy to see that John's death would have a very big impact on you and all of your family as he was a very special man.
Has Johnny read this hub? Does he know how you feel or are you too busy trying to hide your grief from him because you think you need to be strong for him? Whilst your grief will be different from your son's, as you have lost your husband and your knight in shining armor you are both hurting inside.
Have you thought about trying to help Johnny write a hub about his Dad. It doesn't have to ever be published.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and all of your family.
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