What do you love most about being a Dad to be and what are your fears?
I'm not actually a Dad yet! I found out my wife is pregnant a few weeks go, and am over the moon about it. We've decided not to find out the gender, so I have no idea if I'll be having a little boy or girl, but can't wait to find out...these months are going to drag (and of course, going to be hell for my poor wife).
So I can't really answer what I love most - right now it's pure excitement and adrenaline, and nerves, lots and lots of nerves.
My fears are very real now - as fears can surface without actually having the child, whilst the love you bear it, your hopes and dreams, are kinda paused when you don't even know the gender. I know I'm going to love him or her to pieces, but that's rather general, whilst the fears can be very real.
That it will be healthy
That I will be able to provide for him or her okay
That we get our place 'safe' for a baby
That I can cut it as a Dad. Mine is awesome - always there for him no matter how I messed up, I worry I won't live up to him
That I will be over protective - I'm like that with my sister now, God forbid I have a daughter, my Wife will have to keep my in check by the time she starts being interested in boys!
So not really the answer you're looking for I'm afraid...right now I'm an Uncle to numerous nieces and nephews, but my own bundle of joy is many months away yet...
I feel that I am uniquely qualified to answer the question. I raised my two oldest children on my own and now, remairried, I am a new Dad of three more kids. My children are 26, 24, 6, 4 and 3.
What do I love most about being a Dad? Seeing the look in their eyes when you know they love you unconditionally. I saw it in my oldest daughter's eyes last weekend when she was home for my youngest son's birthday. I saw it this morning when my 4 year old daughter was getting ready for pre-k.
You don't teach it. You don't hand it out like it was candy in your pocket. You earn it by trying to be a better parent everyday. This doesn't mean giving them more treats or letting them stay up later. It means being fair and being consistent. It means loving and teaching. It means holding their hand even when they think they are too old for that. It means teaching them how to play chess even when they think they are too young for that. It means treating each one equally but in their own unique way. It's waking them up with a smile on your own face and putting them to bed with a hug and an "I love you". It's teaching them to care more than you were taught yourself. It's letting go when the time comes and then holding on anyway. It's never being too strong to say "I'm sorry" and never being too afraid to prove that you are strong.
As a people, we have left our kids to be raised by the television and now the computer. When this doesn't go too well, we run to the book store and buy a self-help book on parenting by a Doctor whose name we cannot pronouce with a PhD from a school we have never heard of. That is my fear. I never want to be that frantic parent trying to govern from the ront seat of the car on the way to speak to my child's teacher at school we had to settle for, all the while trying desperately to remember the 6 and a half steps to being the perfect parent.
There is no perfect parent. There are only those who try.
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