What does "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" mean?

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  1. Beamboh profile image60
    Beambohposted 13 years ago

    What does "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" mean?

    1. The0NatureBoy profile image57
      The0NatureBoyposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      The difference between "I love you" and "I'm in love with you" is the same as being in the joining point of opposites or in one of the opposites.

      To "Love" is to objectively respect because "it is" and should be one's attitude for everything in existence.
      To "be in love" means there is something in you that is the opposite of something in what/who you are in love with.

      The cause of being "in love" is explained in the Bible's Adam and Eve metaphor's explanation "Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" in what became human and woman which are not genders. That suggests something in each is not functional, implied because of parental teachings, and both genders will have to forsake their parental, religious, state and all other teachings to redevelop the nonfunctioning aspect for them both to be in each person.

      When human and woman train animals to deviate from their instinctive lifestyles something within them lies dormant and they have the "in love" attitude and human will also be in love with them.

  2. profile image0
    reeltaulkposted 13 years ago

    just pure bullshit.........it's better to act like you didn't hear these words if someone tells you that.  It's a passive aggressive way to insult someone without trying to make yourself look or sound bad.....smh

  3. jennshealthstore profile image82
    jennshealthstoreposted 13 years ago

    Usually it is an exuse people use to breakup. But it can also mean that the person cares about you, wants what is best for you but is no longer attracted to you in a physical sense. If this is the case, if the person really loves you there is a chance to get that spark back. I actually wrote a hub about it if you are interested in readig it. http://hubpages.com/hub/Love-Rememberin … d-old-days

  4. samboiam profile image60
    samboiamposted 13 years ago

    It ranks up there with "let's be friends." If you hear these words it is best to cut your losses and go on. If you don't it will be nothing but an emotional roller coaster ride.

    1. ChristRose profile image60
      ChristRoseposted 7 years agoin reply to this


  5. padmendra profile image44
    padmendraposted 13 years ago

    Someone trying to say that he likes you but does not feel in love with you. The meaning is very clear as it sounds.

  6. Beamboh profile image60
    Beambohposted 13 years ago

    *  "It's not you, it's me."
    *  "I just need some time to sort out my own issues."
    *  "I've been so hurt in the past; I just don't know if I'm capable of
        being in a relationship."
    *  "I want you in my life, we just can't be exclusive."

    I could go on and  on.......

    To me, all these simply mean, "it's over!"

  7. profile image0
    jasper420posted 13 years ago

    it means who ever told you this is a walking contradiction

  8. profile image50
    Morsi 69posted 13 years ago

    means he love like a friend , but not like a wife

  9. Victoriaaa profile image58
    Victoriaaaposted 13 years ago

    It means that the person loves you like a friend or maybe like they love their family, but they don't love you enough to where they'd want to take anything further with you.

  10. profile image50
    .Melissaposted 13 years ago

    There is a big difference between those two.
    It doesn't nessacarily mean that those are words that are said before a breakup.
    Those words can have alot of different meanings to it.
    Honestly, it all depends on the situation between the individual whose saying those words and the person he/she is saying it too.

    Let's say there are two individuals that are in a new relationship, maybe a month or two into the relationship.
    The girlfriend may ask him, if he's IN love with her.
    He may love her, but he may find it too soon for himself to tell his girlfriend that he's MADLY DEEPLY TRUELY 'IN LOVE' with her, therefore, being the honest man he is, he may say i love you, but i'm not in love with you.

    being 'in love' is a greater level of LOVE.
    and I love you, may mean that he/she loves you, but not to the greater level of feelings and love which is what people call being 'In Love'.

    I've gone through that situation, I asked my boyfriend when we were together for about 4 months who was his first love, and he told me he's never been 'In Love', so in reply i told him 'So you don't consider me your first love?' and he replied "I love you, but I'm not in love with you (yet)".
    We both talked about it and he explained to me by what he meant by that (which is what i explained to you earlier in this answer) and guess what? When our relationship got alot more serious, we were having a deep conversation and he told me he was IN LOVE with me.
    Now we've been together for almost 2 years and it's going really great.

    So you see it alll depends on your situation with the person saying it to you.

    I really hoped this helped and answered your question smile

  11. megadeth profile image60
    megadethposted 13 years ago

    its an easy way out its like saying its not you its me

  12. Bikash jha profile image59
    Bikash jhaposted 13 years ago

    he or she is just playing with your mind and do not love but cant say no to you for flirting or symphatic or any issue he she got

  13. dabeaner profile image59
    dabeanerposted 13 years ago

    It means:  No sex, or sex is going to stop... .... ....... .... ....... .... ....

  14. dawnM profile image57
    dawnMposted 13 years ago

    it means that they just want to be friends and there is no attraction, that simple!

  15. miss_jkim profile image76
    miss_jkimposted 13 years ago

    I actually heard these words, spoken by a man I had been married to for 24 years. We had traveled the world together, had three children together and were looking forward to those years when the kids were grown and we could have the financial freedom to do what we wanted, when we wanted to, or so I thought.

    What did "he" mean when he said "I love you, but I'm not IN LOVE with you?"   

    It meant he had found someone else he wanted to be with and, for him, it meant walking away from, not only his wife, but his three kids and four grand kids. It meant, and he actually said, he wanted a new and different life. It meant he didn't care if he destroyed his family, alienated his children, and became a stranger to four beautiful grand babies.

    And sadly, it meant he would live the rest of his life alone and miserable.

    1. desaiamarjeet profile image59
      desaiamarjeetposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I am very sorry to read this, never the less responding this after so long period have no value. But still I do not want to keep this in my mind so writting this.
      The difference is as good as difference between "His" and "Him".

  16. Thunder Vixen profile image65
    Thunder Vixenposted 13 years ago

    It means that I have love for you and I care for you a lot but I'm not deeply sincerely in love with you...Like saying I love you the way I love my friends or mom but not how I would love a husband or wife..

  17. Maria Cecilia profile image84
    Maria Ceciliaposted 13 years ago

    it means he just loves you as a friend, but nothing more. He is not looking at you as girl friend potential of someone to love romantically

  18. profile image52
    Zynxposted 13 years ago

    It means that they are too afraid to say that they plainy, don't want to be with you.

  19. Jaynie2000 profile image85
    Jaynie2000posted 12 years ago

    I care about you and your well being. I want good things for you in your life because I believe you deserve them. I appreciate having you for a friend, but I do not have romantic feelings for you and I am not interested in a sexual relationship.

    My life is better with you in it. Let's not complicate it by forcing a romantic element that I don't feel in my heart.

    1. loveofnight profile image79
      loveofnightposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      You took the words right out of my mouth (so to speak).

    2. profile image52
      zman777posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Beautifully said-- but why not express yourself to the other person just as you did here instead of hoping or worse yet expecting that they intrepret  the statement
      In this fashion?.

    3. benalla abdellah profile image60
      benalla abdellahposted 7 years agoin reply to this


  20. Rajab Nsubuga profile image60
    Rajab Nsubugaposted 12 years ago

    To me it sounds like someone is being lustful. Like he wants to get down with you but does not want to go any further than that. that it is a momentous thing.

  21. ArefinShams profile image60
    ArefinShamsposted 12 years ago

    it may means that he loves you as a friend but not loves you as a life partner or something else.

  22. Azlynn profile image61
    Azlynnposted 12 years ago

    It means your just temporary until something better comes along.

  23. badegg profile image81
    badeggposted 12 years ago

    It means that the person has gotten to know you and genuinely loves you on a platonic level, but is not romantically in love with you.

  24. ThunderKeys profile image65
    ThunderKeysposted 12 years ago

    Sound’s like an ambivalent statement by someone with frustrated core-relationship needs. If its a spouse or partner saying this to you, it may be time for learning about evidence-based relationship building. This means discovering what those needs are and developing an effective strategy for getting them met.

  25. LaynieLou profile image59
    LaynieLouposted 12 years ago

    Here's my take on it:

    "I love you" could mean: "I care about you", "I want the best for you and your future", "I want to see you happy", "I want you to be successful"

    but "I'm in love with you" usually means: "I want nothing more than to spend every waking moment of my life proving my love for you with my actions and the things I say".

    I love (care about) a lot of people.....my friends from college, my childhood best friends, people from previous relationships, etc.

    BUT there is only ONE guy that I can honestly say I'm IN LOVE with....

    Make sense?

  26. profile image49
    coolhand2020posted 10 years ago

    It means they're having an affair! Plain and simple

    1. belleart profile image84
      belleartposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      HA, Why does it mean that?? Cant it be, 'I love you, Im not in love with you, its over!'

  27. Trish89 profile image59
    Trish89posted 10 years ago

    I think "I love you" kind of leans more towards caring for someone's well being over all as a person close to you, whereas being in love means you are romantically, physically, and emotionally in love with the person. That's why you can easily fall out of love but still love the person, because you've been close with them and been on such a deeper level with them that you don't want to see them hurt.

  28. C.V.Rajan profile image59
    C.V.Rajanposted 10 years ago

    "But I am not in love with you" - naked reality.
    "I love you" - is the clothing worn above it so that the reality is not displayed embarrassingly!

  29. ParadigmEnacted profile image70
    ParadigmEnactedposted 10 years ago

    Coming from a woman it means that the gentlemen isn't enough of a jerk, but he's good for carrying bags and stuff like that.

  30. profile image0
    AK Chenowethposted 10 years ago

    I like you a lot but I cannot committ to a relationship.

  31. Borsia profile image40
    Borsiaposted 10 years ago

    To me it means that I love someone as a person but not in an intimate way that I would love a GF.

  32. profile image52
    saraaa74posted 9 years ago

    Dear whoever you are.
    I know I am 3 years behind everyone else in answering your question, but hopefully you read this message.
    First, I would like to say that who ever said this to you, might mean 3 things.
    1.they might want to end a relationship, and cut off total contact (jerk)
    2.they might have a different type of love for you. Just like there is a difference between the love you have for your mom and the love you have for your spouse.
    3. This is the one that everyone so far has not told you. It has to do with number 2, in a way. Now as everybody knows, there are different stages to a relationship. First you flirt, then get emotional, then have fun, then start thinking seriously, maybe about marriage. Now, this is were this quote comes in. It DOSE NOT necessarily mean that he/she dose not love you, they just have a different type of love. The Greeks actually had 6 names for different types of loves. Ludas was a fun, flirty love, that was over quickly, and Eros was a strong sexual obsession love. Now another was philia. This was the love shared between friends and family, wich was unsexual. This love showed selflessness and curious, it was the strongest form of love. Now the love I wish to tell you about is pragmatic love. This was the love between a man and women who had a long comittmet to eachother. They made compromises to make each other happy, and cared for each other, also selfless. Now the quote "I love you but I'm not in love with you" simply means that they are in the procces of changing from a different type of love. To make myself more clear, they are not yet felling pragmatic love for you, and that's okay. This love is the longest to achive, and it commitment ! So don't give your hopes up ! If it was meant to be, the both of you would stay together and eventually Love eachother deeply

  33. MrsGray32 profile image61
    MrsGray32posted 9 years ago

    It means,  I love you and care about you, but not enough to endure the strength it takes to be in a relationship with you.

  34. Harishprasad profile image73
    Harishprasadposted 9 years ago

    Beamboh, when I say" I love you"',  it means my sincere love is with you and my soul, my mind, my heart and every atom of my existence longs for you and also that I cannot bear the separation from you in any case. And that lives of us both are the same and the one. but when I say " I love you, but I am not in love with you", it means the opposite of all what I mean when I say simply," I love you". So in my view, we should not say I love you without pouring out our soul, mind and heart and every breath into these words with full sincerity and clear conscience. These are very sacred words and if we add even a single word to these, it would alter their meaning altogether. Just see again these three words- one is I - I as a whole without any alteration either addition or subtraction. Second is love- again without alteration either addition or subtraction and lastly you - again without any distortion. There is another beauty, just observe- love is placed between I and You, it is not placed after or before. So, we should not utter these very priceless words without assimilating the true meaning and essence, we should utter them with our full sincerity and truthfulness. Beamboh, I do not know the reason behind your asking this poignant question but I am sure that this question fills the eyes of most of the sincere lovers with uncontrolled tears and sadness. I pray God to spread a true essence of love in the innermost of all His  beings so that they could savor the pleasures of eternal heaven on this planet itself, while living their lives. You have posed such a question that I will keep pondering over it for a long time in my life, you have just upturned all my thinking, contemplation and discrimination. You must also put another relevant question before the whole humanity - Do you love your partner sincerely ? It is a pity that a lot of people love one another on a surface level and not intimately with total dedication, sincerity and truthfulness. Answering this question, I felt myself as if placed in an altogether different realm. God bless you and thanks.

  35. Richawriter profile image83
    Richawriterposted 9 years ago

    This pretty much means that the person sees you more as a 'special' friend or on a par with a family member than as a 'sweetheart' or someone they could be with romantically.

  36. rohanfelix profile image83
    rohanfelixposted 9 years ago

    It means that the person who hears it is friendzoned, or worse, brotherzoned... A bad place to be according to me!

  37. Diana Lee profile image80
    Diana Leeposted 9 years ago

    It pretty much means the relationship is only temporary. You are not in it for the long haul, but only for the companionship at present time. Or for the sexual needs until a soul mate comes along.

  38. Tusitala Tom profile image67
    Tusitala Tomposted 9 years ago

    It obviously depends on the meaning of the person making that statement.  But if you were to look at it objectively it would mean that "I love you, but I do not NEED you in the sense that I would not seem to myself to be a whole person without you.  Being in love is a feeling that we lack something in ourselves but that this other person we are in love with will make us feel whole, fulfilled.

    Of course, it is a tempoary illusion.  If we continue to rely on another person to make us feel that our life is complete we are giving our power of complete automomy over ourselves to another.  After a while we will resent that.  This is why so many who 'fall out of love' or have someone leave them feel either bitter or devastated.

    On the other hand, if our 'being in love' gradually evolves into our simply loving the other person for what they are; letting them be part of our lives if they want to be but never controlling them or trying to make them over to how we would like them to be, then we have moved forward; we have grown as a human being.

    Our Western Culture has instigated an awful lot of mythe about being in love.  And make no mistake, being in love is a very powerful emotion.  Such is its power that it can almost turn us bi-polar whilst we are in its grip.  We are up when things are going well; very much down when they are not.  We do feel the ecstasy of being in love.  We do very much feel the pain of losing such love. 

    But to reiterate, love is a stand alone.  "I love you' means just that.  A mother loves her baby.  A brother loves his brother.  A father loves his father.  These are types of love that are not the cloying, clinging love which can be so devastating when we go through 'being in love.'

    Hope that explains it a bit.

    1. Harishprasad profile image73
      Harishprasadposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Tusitala, a great essence of love has been reflected by you here for all to see and absorb. I just love your words each one, so full of wisdom very rare to find in this materialistic world. One who really knows love knows that love is simply love.

  39. ReneeDC1979 profile image61
    ReneeDC1979posted 9 years ago

    I love you means you care for the person - like a family member - you would be there for them, you trust them, you got their back.  I'm not in love with you means they do not have feelings for you like they used to.  They have lost something that they used to feel for you.

  40. icv profile image52
    icvposted 9 years ago

    in my opinion, here the word 'Love' is used in different conditions. That is something from psychological communication. because love is a feeling. and so, the hardness of feeling may vary from time to time

  41. JRScarbrough profile image77
    JRScarbroughposted 9 years ago

    In man, it means simply “I really like you as a human being and I don’t want to hurt you, but I am not attracted to you physically.”

    It means they don’t want to be lovers with the person but would like to remain friendly.

  42. profile image52
    DennyMinnposted 9 years ago

    It means that you are just friend , can't become lovers .

  43. edhan profile image38
    edhanposted 9 years ago

    It can simply means I love you as what you are but I am not in love with you as a wife. Love can be classified as a love for friends, brotherly love and not husband & wife sort of relationship.

  44. Samiaylor profile image67
    Samiaylorposted 9 years ago

    You can love many things. When a person tells you they love you but they are not in love with you. It is like loving your sister or your brother. They are not going to marry you they just want to spend time with you. In other words they are going to look for someone else to be in love with.

  45. profile image52
    Karena10posted 9 years ago

    I believe that it should mean "Goodbye".  I means your partner no longer wants a romantic relationship with you. Perhaps they have met someone else or simply are looking for greener grass but would still like you to wait on the sideline in case you're needed.  It's never a good idea to put someone else's happiness ahead of your own.  Be brave enough to walk away from a relationship with someone who isn't "in love" with you. Keep your friends and your lovers separate.

  46. Kalmiya profile image65
    Kalmiyaposted 9 years ago

    I want your body but I'm not interested in putting up with all of life's crap with you.

  47. tehgyb profile image82
    tehgybposted 9 years ago

    It means the person loves your friendship and cares for you, but not in a romantic or sexual way.

  48. belleart profile image84
    belleartposted 9 years ago

    "I love you like I love my family, in a devoted and completely non-sexual, romantic  way."

  49. Seema Berwal profile image60
    Seema Berwalposted 9 years ago

    When someone loves your presence, appreciate your work with all his mind and senses and respect you as a good person means " he loves you." Being in love is a sort of madness,it is a higher degree of infatuation, it can happen to a person whom he does not appreciate all after a period of time.............

  50. Bassem Girgis profile image61
    Bassem Girgisposted 9 years ago

    It means you need to move on. Don't sell yourself short, and don't settle. Remember, there will come guys that want to take as much as possible without having to give. One of the signs you will see is "I love you, but I am not in love with you", this is your cue to walk away, because he probably doesn't want a relationship.
    You are the greatest gift to yourself, protect yourself.

    Best wishes,
    Bassem Girgis


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