Have you ever sensed that your children wanted firmer boundaries than you were giving them?
I can't say mine have ever dropped any hints that they would like to be controlled more. While we're not strict parents by today's definition, we have made the rules, regulations, stipulations and boundaries very clear, and have not left them wanting more.
In my opinion, digesting your child psychologically is the best way to go. Judge their personality, get a sense of what they need to progress forward in life, and make a decision on what to do based on ho sensitive they are. If you see signs of natural leadersip and good decision-making skills, give them looser boundaries, allowing them to choose the right path, and judge how to live their life on their own. If your child struggles with decision making, or just needs structure in his/her life, give it to them, it just makes their life easier by allowing them to use ther talents and abilities in a more effective way. But hey, it's your decision, and only you know you kids, so whatever you decide to do, its probably going to pay off.
Not really. I have always believed in being firm and consistent, as well as showing my kids how much I love them. I usually feel like I am more strict than the other moms around me but my kids are well behaved (most of the time) and happy. Rules andd boundaries are definitely important! Of course I have given in when I shouldn't have...but I know ill never be perfect.
Thanks for these great comments!
I sensed my son asking for boundaries on two occasions, on both of which I was distracted from my discipline by outside stresses. He seemed really relieved when I established and enforced the boundaries.
Of course, kids can't outright ask for boundaries, because what they're really asking for is proof they are loved. Love has to be given freely, without prompting, or it doesn't really count.
I'm really grateful for my kids, and God's help with raising them!
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