The importance of fathers
Do you believe that growing up with a father in your life is imperative to growing up well rounded? If so is it better to have a deadbeat uncaring father that is around or would it be better not to have one at all?
Growing up with a responsible, loving, caring father is very important for a child's development. A boy's sense of duty to his family can be derived directly from this aspect of his life. A girl's sense of duty to her family can be derived the same way. Mothers are equally as important as an icon of duty to family and others. Both together make for a wonderful pairing, showing children the strength of togetherness, the power of teamwork and the ability to love, care, build and grow.
Having a deadbeat father in a child's life teaches the opposite of the above very important attributes. A deadbeat mother, for that matter, also gives children a very unnatural idea about the way life is or should be. Humans are not built to laze about. We are not made to do nothing. We are built to provide, to care and to contribute to our group (family, work, society). I do not condone getting rid of a deadbeat per se. I do however suggest empowering those who have fallen behind in their duties by receiving an intervention from those that love them. Their own mothers, fathers, brothers, friends or whoever else cares enough for the person may have the ability to lift the person up from the ditch they've laid themselves in and show them their wrongs, to show them what they are teaching their children and what they must do to change their lives. Most people are intelligent enough to see what they're teaching their own children if they are forced to step back and see the big picture. Most people are intelligent enough to know they are deadbeats if in fact that is what they are. A final step would certainly have to be their removal from the child's life, when all else fails, to avoid giving children the idea that this behavior is acceptable, healthy, efficient, productive or in any way contributory. Children will follow the lead of their parents almost every time, including ques given from their deadbeat parents.
Having a caring loving father is very important to a family it holds the bond between a family and there is always the control over what goes on, a father who doesn't care will never know their children. If both parents don't care or love their children a family falls apart.
Fathers are important, as mothers are, I think the ensemble, the differences between them, what is natural to a man and to a woman, and which the other doesn't have, so can't give, is very important so a child grows up balanced, with a sense of security and learning its place in the world. Having said that I did not grow up with a father, since mine died when I was six years old, and I turned out alright although I struggled and still struggle a bit with some stuff. But all things considering I think it's better to grow up without a father, than to have a deadbeat uncaring one around, because I think it's easier to find one's place and balance that way...
I grew up without a father, as my parents divorced when I was 1 and my mother moved several states away with my sister and myself. I saw my father once a year, and my mother did not remarry until I was in college, so essentially I did not have a father figure in my life. Sorry to offend others, but I was fine the whole time!!! My mother is an incredibly strong, intelligent, and independent woman, and she was more than enough of a role model for me. I don't know if things would have been different if I had had a brother, but it was just us three women and even now I don't feel like I missed out. My father is not a deadbeat, but he is not really an intellectual or creative match to my mother, so I think she made the right choice to leave and be free. I imagine it would be better to not have a deadbeat parent around.
Unless the father is deadbeat and uncaring as you put it, then yes of course they need to be around their fathers.
Children live what they learn and if the parents teach them love they learn love, if taught lies they learn to lie. Its just normal. Children love their parents unconditionally and anything the parents say or do is right in the eyes of a child, until they become a teen of course. (then they hate you, and if that happens, then you know your doing something right)
However if the child lives in an dysfunctional home where the father is never there, the mother is gone and they are left here and there, its only normal that the children will be unstable and withdrawn. However with that said, I do believe that a father can be of great importance.
WE has mothers are naturally the 24/7 parent and its just an everyday thing to the child but when the father steps in and does his part, the child feels loved, stable and secure. Not that they don't with the mother, but its like having a cigarette every day, then that one day a new brand comes out and for a time being its like a new thrill ride on the merry go round.
Daughters grow fond and close to their fathers, they become the apple of a fathers eye, if they are not around, they not only hurt their children but they hurt themselves. Children are here one day and gone the next (moved out, grown up) then you will wish you had spend more time with them but its too late.
I think any kind of uncaring, dead beat parent is better off away from any child actually.
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