I had witnessed many families who were having problems with each others changed after having their child. They realized their responsibilities as parents and no longer find themselves cutting each other's throats during arguments.
It is always good to have children in part of our lives as it is the cycle of human beings. It is like a replacement of ourselves being reborn after death into new families until we understand the way of enlightenment which I am seeking.
I had my first child when I was 18. It completely changed my world. In a great way, I was selfish and truly all about myself, for the first time in my life, I had to put the needs of another before mine. Now, I had two more children later in my 30's and this experience has been so different. I think having a child teaches you to love unconditionally. I only wish parents knew that they are molding the future generation, the responsibility is great, but the reward is also.
Perhaps my husband and I find times when we really wish we had one more hour to sleep in, but when my little 5 year old runs as fast as he can and leaps into my arms, or my 22 year old hugs me and says "Mom, I am so glad I can talk to you." You know that it is worth it.
Lastly, when we had a party for my Grandma on her 90th birthday, It made me feel so much honor to be a part of her famiy tree. Without her, none of us would be here. So I must think and hope that one day, my childrens' children will view me as a legacy also of stories and wisdom too.
In every way having children has enriched my life. My 5 children (2 adopted) have challenged me to be more selfless, loving and thoughtful. There is a kind of fierce love that you have for your children which surpasses anything I could ever have imagined.
I remember reading somewhere: "Child is the father of man" ... how true! It is only when you have a child that you really step back and learn about life. You observe life for the 1st time & realise what it has to offer. My children too made me view life differently, through their eyes too many-a-times. Love having them around
I'd say in just about every way! I think I could echo most of the sentiments in that they have enriched my life, filled it with more joy than I ever knew, etc....
I remember when I had my first child. We were out somewhere and I was driving home with my infant son. Someething scared me on the way home and I instinctively reached for my bag and the keys I would thread between my fingers for protection. My before kids chant was something like "Please don't rape me" My after chidren rant was "Ok. if you have to, rape me, just leave the baby alone" That's how having kids channged my life.
Simply put, It gave me a life.
My life seemed as a flushing through various stages of arbitrary scenes before I had my kids. Now I get to see what life is truely all about. Seeing things through humble eyes, and embracing the wonders of the world in which we as adults seem to always take for granted.
The Sun behind an overcast cloud, shining none, but giving the beautiful presence of a moon with different body.
Answering the question of "Why does that man have gold teeth Daddy" and finding the ultimate sillyness in it.
Watching the real zest and freedoms of childhood, ripping open Christmas presents, and dressing up like a princess, or a fireman on any day, and recieving no scoff in doing so.
Children are life, real life, before being tainted by social and coorperate influence.
It has changed in many ways. It improved my relations with my parents and come to know how difficult it is when a kid cry of pain in mid of the night for parents. How my parents had taken care of me when I was young.
It improved my own understanding of relationship and love. It made me a man who cares for everybody. When I see sufferings of the people I feel their pain.
Having children changed every single aspect of my life. Before having children I was a 'maiden' and after their births I became a mother and a woman; two very different roles.
My children became my every reason to live for more than twenty years, to do things right, to change, to make well and happy, to turn into decent, mature human beings with an education and as best a chance to survive their lives as I could help them with.
They were by my side when two years ago I had to have major surgery and death was a possibility.
Facing the operation was absolutely fine for me, death acceptable because my children were well and happy and we loved each other. Their love was all I needed to feel complete as a human being. That feeling of completion made me comfortable with the idea of dying.
My children complete my existence.
Basically, I think the best way I can explain it, its through a poem I wrote about it:
It's not something that can be understood in words, it needs to be felt, in truth they gave birth to me...
Having children, makes you complete. When a child is born, even a mother is born--and along comes the most beautiful emotions, of selfless love, sacrifice, divine love and so on. It is the most amazing feeling, no other feeling can compare with. Children change you to become better humans.
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