For those that don't have children: do you feel guilty for not bringing new life

1. 57

   harmony155posted 10 years ago

   For those that don't have children: do you feel guilty for not bringing new life into this world?

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2. 79

   Pamela-anneposted 10 years ago

   In my case I decided not to have children because of my medical condition - Epilepsy; I take grandmal seizures or tonic clonic.  I was advised by doctors against trying to have children with my disability.  I agreed that it would be best not to have children; being that I would not be able to live with myself if me having a seizure caused damage to my child.  I take at least 1 seizure a month so having children was not to be in my future.  I am blessed with 4 lovely nieces and one great nephew which I love and adore all of them.  It does sadden me at times that I was not able to have my own children but I always get through these blue times by remembering there is so many children  in the world today suffering, many starving to death.  We need to think of reducing the numbers so we can feed and cloth the children we have now.

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   1. 57

      harmony155posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      You have made a conscious decision, and that alone deserves recognition!

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      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, people need to think and make conscious decisions before even considering having children. Too many people DON'T and it's THE CHILDREN who suffer from such thoughtless actions!

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3. 89

   Kathryn Stratfordposted 10 years ago

   No, I don't. I still may have a baby, although I am getting a little old for that. But even if I don't have any, I won't feel guilty. I don't think there's anything wrong with not having offspring.

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      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Concur to the multillionth degree.

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4. 81

   Seeker7posted 10 years ago

   I certainly don't. The choice whether to have children shouldn't be based on the fact of feeling guilty if you don't. Children are the most important thing that humans produce, as such, if people feel that, for whatever reason, they have no wish to be a parent, then that is their decision and no business of any one elses. This is a responsible attitude to have, rather than following the majority and having a child just to be the same as everyone else. This happens so frequently with the result that there are some poor kids who are not given the love and life that they deserve.
   
   Besides this, the world population needs to reduce itself, not continue to grow, as resources will start to run out sooner rather than later.

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   1. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Totally agree with your response.  So many people unthinkingly have children, regretting it later on. Children KNOW when they are unwanted and unloved. More people should think before deciding to have children.  Childfree people should be respected.

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5. 80

   elayne001posted 10 years ago

   Is a woman expected to have children if she can? This is a source of trouble in many relationships. Why do some women feel guilt for not having more children? read more

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6. 83

   liesl5858posted 10 years ago

   No, I don't feel guilty at all, in fact I feel sorry for the children being born nowadays as life seem to get harder each year. At first, I felt sad about not having children but not anymore.

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7. 88

   IslandBitesposted 10 years ago

   I don't. But I would love to adopt a couple babies.

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      harmony155posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      If only the adoption process was easier, cause there are plenty of children that do need a home!

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      IslandBitesposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yes! Easier and cheaper.

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8. 79

   Say Yes To Lifeposted 10 years ago

   Not in the SLIGHTEST!!!  I've seen WAY too many unwanted children, and far more who allegedly were wanted, but are not being taught basic survival skills!
   I personally don't believe in bringing lives into this cruel world.  There are plenty of babies to adopt, if people want kids.
   I once had a co-worker who was a Pilipino mail order bride.  She had a complex about never having kids.  I just told her it was nobody's business but her own, and if anyone who had more than 2 kids called her on it, she should say, "You do enough breeding for the both of us.".  I met her husband, and he was such an @$$hole, I didn't blame her for not wanting to bring kids into that situation!
   People who choose to have kids should take their chosen parental duties SERIOUSLY.  Those who choose not to go that path should be respected!

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   elayne001posted 10 years ago

   I wrote my answer in a hub at:
   
   http://elayne001.hubpages.com/hub/Feeli … ldren?done

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      harmony155posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks! Will visit your hub

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10. 81

    dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

    People who don't want children shouldn't have children!
    No one should feel guilty about living life on their terms. In fact if we are to believe the news reports detailing the carbon footprint of mankind and how it is destroying the oceans, ozone, and land of this planet.... one could argue that people who chose not to have children are the most eco-friendly people in the world! They're heroes! :-)
    They're reducing the amount of disposable diapers and water bottles going into land fills. In 2011, Americans generated about 250 million tons of trash and recycled and composted almost 87 million tons of this material, equivalent to a 34.7 percent recycling rate. 
    According to Planet Green Group one person adds more than 4 pounds of garbage to a landfill every day. That means, on average, one person contributes 56 tons of trash per year! In many ways less people lead to more resources.
    On another note if we are being realistic not everyone who has a child is producing a healthy or future self-reliant contributing memeber of society. A certain percentage of children will be born unable to ever take care of themselves, some children of today will become tomorrow's criminals. Naturally people who (want) children never consider these as possibilities and yet somehow are jails get filled. Another group of people choose to have children without having the means to raise them or they mate with someone who is far from being an ideal parent. Clearly they were not thinking of what would be in the (child's) best interest.

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       Say Yes To Lifeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       The movie "Idiocracy" is about this. John Lennon once said 98% of babies are born out of a bottle. Personally, I've seen too much element of truth to this.

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       gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Totally agree with Mr. Dashing! Too many people mindlessly and unthinkingly have children. They do not consciously think about their decision to have children, much to their & their children's regret later on. Many have kids as rslt of pressure.

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       selfcollectionsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       You've made me feel less guilty today. Thank-you   I think the desire to have children is actually for self fulfillment. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But doesn't mean people without kids have easy lives and don't work hard either.

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11. 72

    catgypsyposted 10 years ago

    No way! I also feel it must be the most terrifying thing in the world to be a parent these days. There is so much danger out there that I would be a basket case and my children would be way over protected...probably chained to me...haha. Hats of to parents, though, for dealing with all of this.

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    1. 57

       harmony155posted 10 years agoin reply to this

       I don't blame parents for wanting to put their kids on a leash!

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12. 69

    KL Kleinposted 10 years ago

    Why would I? There's too many people here already!

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    1. 57

       harmony155posted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Amen!

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       gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       A second amen!

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13. 73

    Anti-Valentineposted 10 years ago

    Quite the opposite. I would feel guilty about bringing children in to this world. Have you seen the world we live in? And I'm not contributing to overpopulation.

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       gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Thunderous applause to you.

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    Relationshipcposted 10 years ago

    The only reason I feel guilty (sometimes) is because I am not giving my parents a grandchild. I am their only child, and I know that they expected to have a grandchild one day. But that is not a good enough reason to actually have a child!
    
    There are enough kids in this world waiting to be loved and taken care of that I personally believe more people should be looking towards supporting those kids rather than having a kid for the sake of having a kid that comes from them. It just doesn't seem fair.

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    Globetrekkermelposted 10 years ago

    Not at all although  I love children a lot. Had I been a mother, I think I would have been a cool mom. Like a lot of the answers here, there are a lot of kids born to parents who were not supposed t be parents to begin with. There are a lot of kids , not biologically your own , to love and care for who had been neglected by their own biological parents. I would love to take care of those kids.

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16. 66

    Viva Jonesposted 10 years ago

    I don't feel remotely guilty - why on earth should I?  The world is overpopulated as it is and I'm not convinced I'd be a great mother - why bring another damaged person into the world?  I'd rather not be a mother at all than be a bad one.

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    1. 83

       gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       +++++++

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17. 89

    Astralroseposted 10 years ago

    I don't! It's my choice and I believe it's a wise choice considering there are already so many children out there who are waiting to have a home of their own. If someone wants children he/she could adopt and give a child a brand new life. After all, a child is a child who will grow into an adult and do the same or similar things which you are doing. They only differ because you think it that way. Think the other way and it's just the same.

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18. 83

    gmwilliamsposted 10 years ago

    Not at all!  I have written four hubs on this very same subject.  I also have a recent forum post relating to this.  While I was writing my answer on the post, two pundits indicated that there were sometihing inherent wrong with women who did not have children.  They further indicated that those who waited to have children until they can socioeconomically afford them were totally stupid.  Such misguided pundits; however,were uneducated and did not know better. Those two were the only ones who were negative towards childfree people. They represented the negativity that childfree women regularly encounter on a regular bases.  They simply do not know how to mind their business and live their lives.
    
    I digress.  Nothing is wrong with being childfree although in this strong pronatalist society and culture, one is constantly exhorted to have children, children, children.  Those who elect not to listen to the pronatalist propaganda and diatribe are often demonized as "irresponsible", "immature", "selfish", and/or worse.  One woman at my former job felt that EVERY woman should have children whether she wanted to or not.  As a result of this pronatalist propagandizing, many people have children to conform to the pronatalist construct much to their and their children's regret. 
    
    A survey was done by advice columnist Anne Landers 4 decades inquiring people if they had to do it over, would they have children.  A resounding majority declared that they WOULD NOT!  That report is highly indicative that the majority of people had children because they felt obligated to by their parents, relatives, religions, friends, and the outer society.  Very, very few people have children because they actually wanted to. 
    
    There are folks out there who are perfunctory parents. They see their children as somewhat of an obligation instead of a joy.  This is obvious in that one sees parents being continuously curt and dismissive towards their children.  It is as if they do not want to be bothered with them.  When the children are home on vacation, many parents state that they cannot wait for them to return to school as they are quite noisome.  Yes, many parents view their children as in the way, just merely to be tolerated.  They initially did not want children; however, instead of standing their ground regarding the issue, they caved into the pressure.

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       Say Yes To Lifeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       It appears some societies are so dysfunctional, they can only continue through ignorance, deception, and intense pressure to progenerate. No one who knew better and was free to think and choose would bring a child into it!

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       gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       I know so well. So many people unthinking have children and the children suffer because of poor care all around.  This is wrong! As my father told me ALWAYS THINK & PLAN.  People don't and then COMPLAIN about the results therein!  Very "smart"!

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       Say Yes To Lifeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       As my high school Bible teacher used to say, "He who fails to plan, plans to fail."  Interesting how Christian education is put down so much these days - or how the church is used to keep people ignorant.

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    4. 81

       dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       gmwilliams,Very true! I use to hear my mother tell us "I can't wait until you are grown and gone" It was as though we were a (major) bill! Oftentimes we were made to feel we owed her a debt for having us! How twisted is that? Didn't (she) want kids?

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    cjcs138posted 10 years ago

    why should i feel guilty about such a thing? there is more than enough people bringing new life in to the world. arguably too much.

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    1. 83

       gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       There you go!

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       Astralroseposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Absolutely! And what are these children for? I have no idea!

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20. 60

    gpishevposted 10 years ago

    It is a matter of choice, like everything else in this world. The guilt factor depends on the perspective according to me. One can feel guilty because all his/her life she/he has been told how important is raising a family, while another can feel no guilt at all, because of the society around him/her.

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    1. 57

       harmony155posted 10 years agoin reply to this

       I've been told all my married life that raising a family is the most important aspiration. I've even been told that "life doesn't start until I have children".

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21. 81

    epbooksposted 10 years ago

    Good question, but for me, not at all.  If someone doesn't want children, they shouldn't have them.  I love kids... but never wanted my own.  I don't have the time to devote to raising a child and it wouldn't be fair to them.  My passion in life has always been raising dogs and it works perfectly for me and them. 
    So guilty? Not one bit.

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