For how long should parents continue to make decisions for their children?
When the kids are already teens or young adults, should parents continue to make decisions for them or leave the kids to make their decisions?
When I was a kid my mother said that she believed in "limited democracy". We started having a voice in the decisions in our house when we came of school age. But a limited voice, we could ask questions about things, we could have opinions, and we could vote. But a voice under 10 years of age had only one vote. After 10 years of age we had two votes, after 15 - three votes. and the adults in the house took the votes into consideration and had to provide a very good reason to override those votes.We learned how to discuss our reasons for our votes, and that could help sway other voters in the house. The adults made the final decisions based on votes and reasoning. We learned about decision making from an early age, but we had guidance in our decisions because we lived in our parents house. I still think this was a good process because she taught us how to ask questions and look at possibilities before we made our decisions. Kids need to be involved, but parents must teach the ways, reasoning, and consequences of decisions. By the time I was 15 I was making some really good decisions and a couple of really bad ones, but she let me live with some of those bad ones depending on the consequences. If I chose to wear pink and orange polka dots with green shoes it was my problem.
I would say as long as they respect your opinion and ask for your advice, in which is very rare. Most that age seem to know it all. So, be a proud parent if they still depend on you for advice.
Yeah, i agree with@ Jthomp42, as long your kids still ask for yr opinion, go ahead give them yr valuable advices. My kid is 18 yrs old now, she still ask for our advice when she is in doubt. Let yr kids feel that you are always there for them.
I think that as a parent we should always be around to offer advice at age 2 and at age 42. But at some point you have to let children make their own decisions and mistakes. If we do not let them make mistakes then they will never grow or learn. But we will be there for them after they fail to help pick them up or be there for them when they achieve a new goal to congratulate them.
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