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PARENTS: How do you feel about getting advice from others on how to raise your children?
Do you like to get advice or do you feel like other people should not butt into how you raise your children? Does it matter who the advice is from: friend, family, stranger? Does it matter to you if the advice giver has children or not?
It depends on the advice and maybe whether I need it or asked for it. I tend to ignore advice that involves corporal punishment, religious tones, cruel and unusual punishment, and consequences that are not a natural or logical response to a behavior. Other than that I am open for advice.
I only liked advice if I asked for it. I can't recall getting a lot of advice when I was raising my girls. People were respectful but I did get told several times by people that it looked like we had fun together...and we really did.
I am always open to constructive or helpful suggestions. As a trained parenting educator and parent I am always cautious about giving unasked for advice. I have received over the years really unhelpful comments from strangers which were unneccesary and critical and I often wonder whether this free advice from a perfect stranger was in fact from a parent. So perhaps their being a parent is important to me.
i don't mind getting advice from family members, friends but my hubby does mind. He hates people interupting our family lifestyle. Hence, i cut down on asking for advice and seek from internet for advice instead.
When I was raising my children, my friends and I (other young mothers) would ask for and exchange parenting advice. Mostly, that was taken well and appreciated. I sometimes asked for advice from older women in my family, especially my mother or mother-in-law.
Unsolicited advice from anyone was not usually appreciated. I think that young mothers especially are a little insecure in their parenting skills and look upon unsolicited advice as criticism. It's too bad because there is much to be learned from the older generation and more experienced parents.
Oh, yes, it matters a lot if the advice giver is a stranger or has children. I sure did not appreciate a stranger or someone without children telling me that I was doing it wrong!
I'd feel appreciative. It could sound like "Hey I know what I'm doing.." but honestly, there are so many things every parent needs to learn for the best of their children. What's wrong with getting an advice? I would even feel glad "that someone" has concern enough to know he/she cares. As long as its constructive and friendly, I would thank him/her. It may be something that can make me a better parent and person, as well. Thanks for asking Dana.
A thousand smiles and blessings to you. - Tonette
I don't have kids, but would appreciate the advice from someone more experience. I guess my approach would be to weigh the advice and apply it at appropriate times.
I perfectly fine with it if it is asked for. If I is given without my request 8 times out of 10, I am going to not like it. I tend to not get so offended if it is from friends or family, but if it were I stranger I think that I would have a major problem with it. And, yes, it absolutely matters if they have kids or not. How can to give advice about something you've never done. It's like the saying "those who can't do teach" (sorry teachers...but you know what I mean).
If I asked, I don't mind the answer, even if I disagree. I will listen and consider it for some time.
If I didn't ask, they can step off! I don't care who it is... That shows no respect - especially if they don't have kids.... Those folks are clueless - even if they're teachers! I was a teacher before I had kids. It is not the same as being a parent... not the same at all! You can't speak of that which you have no knowledge!
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