To those in large and very large families, did YOU ever wish that you were from
a small family?In large families, parental involvement and individualized parental attention is little to almost nonexistent.Oldest/older children are often cast aside while the younger/youngest children receive the prerequisite parental attention.Oldest/older children are the family mascots,raising younger siblings from early childhood.The situation re: large families can be aptly described as neglect, whether bening or otherwise.Children are oftentimes in socioeconomic penurious situations or impoverished.There is little or no privacy as children live in crowded environments.IT IS NOT GOOD.
I come from a big family, the eldest of six children but we are all happy and loved. Admittedly, my parents are poor but we did not complain instead we all helped one another to better our lives. As the eldest, I felt responsible for my younger brothers and sister so I looked after them. Even now that we are all grown ups and have our own families, we still help each other. My parents did not neglect us, they love us. I don't think large families are a sign of neglect, it depends how the parents bring their children up to be responsible adults. As for privacy, we did not have much privacy as a child as we got only one house but I think it brought us closer to each other. No problems for us, the bond as a family is strong.
Well my parents both come from poor and very large families. I can see that where there are positive aspects about it, there were also negative ones. From what my parents have told me, they felt that there parents were neglecting them most of the time due to their obligation to work to feed their children. Most of the daughters would get married by the ages of 15 or 16 to get out of the house and start their own family. Therefore most of the children, if not all, grew up to have self esteem issues.
For my self, sometimes it seemed difficult having a big family. In fact, there were times in the past when i did actually wish that my family would be smaller but at this point of my life it doesn't really bother me any more.
Life in large and very large families are akin to the 9th circle of hell.Children raise themselves and each other.Poverty is rife.No privacy/no space. Oldest children are unpaid help.I would not wish large families on my worst enemy.
I have dealt with people from large families and they HATED it. They were impoverished, had no privacy, and the other pathologies related to large family life. Anyone who states that they like being in a large family is in DEEP, DEEP DENIAL.
You just said what's in my heart. I'm going through it since childhood. I come from a large family, and we're not good even financially. You're absolutely right, the parents don't give you even a bit of attention. It would've been okay if only there were unity and equality in such large families. But this is the main problem such families face. The older one's live like rich people do, the young's live like poor people do. It's like feeling inferiority complex at your own home. It's extremely frustrating and depressing. The only thing I wish to do is get some grades and get a chance to go abroad. If I end up staying at this home, then nothing's ever going to make me 'somebody'. The parents in such families don't even stress on the child's education so he/she can make their way out of such hazardous house. It's like you're stuck in prison. It's more frustrating than I can tell you. By the way, you forgot to mention that such lack of attention gain leads to suicide attempts as well. It totally sucks.
Thank God YOU have admitted THE TRUTH. I have studied large families in sociology class in college. These studies authenticated what YOU have said. I wrote hubs on this very same subject. Large families are HELL, thank you again for admitting it
I'm sorry, but when it comes to families, there is never an "always" rule about any issue. I come from a very large family. As far back as anyone can trace, all the generations tended towards 5 or more children per family unit. I am number four out of 8 children. I never "parented" my younger siblings, nor was I "parented" by my elder siblings.
I'm sorry that you have such a negative view of parents, because there are some really wonderful ones in the world. Ones that make personal sacrifices to ensure that all of their children receive love and attention as well as help and guidance. Out of eight of us, seven us went to college and one chose to start a successful business. Five us have started families of our own. None of us have been arrested, none of us are sick, and none of us hate our family. In fact, we stay in touch daily with each other.
I am sure that statistics DO show that children are unhappy when they come from large families. But I can't help but wonder if a lot of that is influenced by society's new vision of what children are supposed to have in regards to material possessions. I know that I have many friends who are from small families or only child families. And guess what? Most of them are dissatisfied with their lives too. It is much easier to blame their unhappiness on their parent's shortcomings, their position in the family, their peers, their school, their boss...anyone other than the one person who is responsible for their choices after majority. The individual.
So would I prefer to have been from a small family? Heck no. I know that isn't what you wanted to hear, but sometimes there are real humans on the other side of all those numbers in our sociology and psychology books. They don't know every person from every family in the real world.
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