Should I move with my parents-in-law because the monthly rent we pay will help o

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   Femina Vox Vocisposted 12 years ago

   Should I move with my parents-in-law because the monthly rent we pay will help our family budget?
   
   My husband is insisting on moving with his parents, with his mentally unstable brother, because the rent we pay will help our family budget. But it's too far from my son school. I did realize how it would help us, but you cannot buy piece of mind, can you? It seems like I have to make a way to survive if we are in the middle of financial crisis  because I don't want to move. You want this, make it work. We can make it thru. We did it many times. But when his temper got the best of him, he blames me. Living on our own gives me the desire to do better. It's like taking away the hope & joy in me.

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   Taleb80posted 12 years ago

   I think If you have a separate room there, don't hesitate, go ASAP.
   Make sure you save at least 70-80% of the rent cost in a separate account. Think like you are still paying the rent. No one could know what could happen in future.
   Remember that you could make your room your kingdom, be patient & get a positive attitude. Enjoy your life by focusing on good things. One of these good things you have is that your parents-in-law welcome you. Some people hope that but they keep rejected by their parents-in-law.

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      Femina Vox Vocisposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      My in-laws are alright. It's my husband I worry. He grew up there with his easy go lucky friends. That is His kingdom. Doing God knows what together. He's SINGLE when he's with them. His parents can't stop him. He has changed when we moved.

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   Nell Roseposted 12 years ago

   I think you have answered your own question to be honest. You said 'Living on your own gives you the desire to do better'. If your husband has a temper then moving in with his family who will automatically be on his side will be a nightmare. If there is any other option take that, don't move there your self esteem will go out the window as quick as you can say whoa! You have to ask yourself the questions, is there an alterior motive for him wanting to move in? does he want you to look after his brother, mother, father etc. Will you have time for yourself. And you have to take into consideration your sons school too. Can you move in with your parents?
   I would definitely not move in with his parents, but if its the only option make sure you set out a few ground rules first. You are not his unpaid housekeeper, nanny etc. Your son comes first along with you, okay?

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      Femina Vox Vocisposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks a lot. Your words add clarity in my confused mind.

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   lburmasterposted 12 years ago

   If there is anything you dislike about his family, no matter how small, it will get five times worse just after the first month of moving in together. Since his brother is mentally unstable, use that as your best advantage of not moving in with them. But it also depends on how much you will save. If it's a dramatic amount, you might have to consider moving in with them. Make sure your family will have your own rooms. Have communication with the in-laws so they know you guys need privacy and boundaries.

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   duffsmomposted 12 years ago

   I would be very concerned about moving in with in-laws as your family dynamic will change. Your husband will be back in his family home, and may have difficulty standing up to his parents.
   
   Woman can be very territorial and living with your husband's mother could bring up some of those kinds of issues.  A woman's home is her domain and sharing it can be very difficult.
   
   I'm sorry your husband is being difficult about this but your happiness should be one of his top priorities.

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