Is it wrong to have children share a bedroom?

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  1. peeples profile image94
    peeplesposted 10 years ago

    Is it wrong to have children share a bedroom?

    I'm pretty sure I'm super Americanized. It use to be that children shared rooms. In previous generations sometime multiple children shared a room. Now I have the mentality that they shouldn't. Is providing children with their own rooms "spoiling" the any or is it now the common thing?

    1. gmwilliams profile image84
      gmwilliamsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you Peeples.  Children shouldn't have to share a room.  They need their own rooms because they need to individuate.  They must express their individuality & there is no better way to express their individuality than to have each child have their own room. 

      Yes, in the past, children shared rooms.  However, we aren't living in the past.  We live in the postmodern, 21st century where we have evolved & become more educated in terms of children's needs & rights.  In the past, people didn't use contraceptives, had large families, lived in poverty, & beat their children.  Thankfully, people have become educated which translates into using contraception, having small families, having affluent lives, & talking to their children instead of beating them.

      In the past, people didn't know better & acted based upon their limited knowledge. Now that people know better, they DO better.   Children NEED their own rooms.  It isn't spoiling that children have THEIR OWN rooms.  The notion of spoiling is based on the premise that children should live in the most primitive, abject conditions because it was the belief that such deprivation is beneficial which is an outgrowth of the poverty, struggle, & deprivation mentality.  Children are entitled to live the best life possible beyond the rudiments.  They should live like pack animals.  They NEED their own rooms.

      1. wilderness profile image94
        wildernessposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Odd - when my son took in his nephew to raise and support they began to fix up an extra room for him - a large room that was originally designated as a craft room for Mom. 

        The nephew and his cousin (1 year apart) asked that they both sleep in the large room - put in two beds and make a joint bedroom.  They have been very happy there for 2 years now.  The two small children (8 and 10, compared to the older children of 14,15,16, very often sleep in the same room as their older siblings even though they have separate bedrooms.)

        Children don't particularly need to "individuate" - they need friendship, companionship, love.  People don't actually know better - that every child needs a separate room.

        1. gmwilliams profile image84
          gmwilliamsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          ENOUGH ALREADY- yada, yada, yada, yada, yada.....................YAWN,

    2. profile image52
      Rishita Jainposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I don't think its a problem at all. I have 2 kids. And i have not (yet) heard them complaining about the fact they share a room. They like it. Also, they learn a lot of cooperation, patience, the anti-this-belongs-to-me attitude. Ultimately all of this contributes in making them a better human being.

  2. ChristinS profile image39
    ChristinSposted 10 years ago

    My boys share a room, but it is more out of necessity since we are rehabbing our home.  Once all the projects are done - if they are grown and moved out by then lol, we'll give them their separate space.  I think most kids prefer some level of privacy when possible.

  3. lburmaster profile image73
    lburmasterposted 10 years ago

    How is that wrong? Growing up, I shared a room with my sister. Another family with 12 children had four in one room. One family with all boys kept two in one room, only four kids. Yes, I do believe children not sharing rooms can cause them to be spoiled. They will have a difficult time adjusting to sharing a dorm in college and might have a larger personal space area than most.

  4. profile image0
    JThomp42posted 10 years ago

    I see no problem with your children sharing a bedroom. Of course, if it is two boys and or two girls this is very common. So many do not have the luxury of having a bedroom for every child. When I was growing up, we were lucky to have a bed. smile

  5. fpherj48 profile image60
    fpherj48posted 10 years ago

    peeples....There are hundreds of potential opinions on this, I'm sure.  So much of the answer, depends on available "space."  Let's face it, if individual rooms is not even possible, this is a non-issue....or it requires an entire, involved plan to move, add-on or make some sort of major change.
    IMO, it also depends on the age and sex of the children.   Until ages 5 to 7, sharing a room seems perfectly fine and may even be preferred by the children themselves.  The vast majority of kids don't especially like sleeping alone.
    As kids get older, they may be learning to appreciate privacy and some solitude....a "sanctuary" of their own, so to speak.  This is simply normal.
    I see no danger at all of someone becoming "spoiled," because they were able to have their own room.  I don't even see the relevance in that.
    I can see of only one scenario that would make room-sharing a really bad idea and that would be a sister and brother after age 7.  In this case, parents would have a serious responsibility to use simple common sense and courtesy, to provide their kids with separate rooms.

  6. dashingscorpio profile image81
    dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

    Growing up me and my brothers shared a bedroom because we only had a two bedroom house. In my pre-teen years I decided to sleep on the basement sofa bed. We had a stereo and a phone down there which was a plus for talking to girls. This was in the era where the household had one television. Phones were (wired) only in the parent's bedroom, kitchen, and basement.
    If parents can afford a house where each child has their own bedroom that's great. A child having his or her own space does not spoil them unless they are not held responsible for keeping that space tidy. After a certain age you have to encourage responsible behavior.

  7. DDE profile image46
    DDEposted 10 years ago

    Sharing a bedroom is no problem and it all depends on what you have not many families can afford a room for each child a time for everything

  8. penlady profile image60
    penladyposted 10 years ago

    I don't see anything wrong with children sharing a bedroom. My sister and I did, and we're very close as a result. Sharing a bedroom can create a bond between those children because they can converse while everyone else is asleep in other bedrooms. Sometimes, they tell each other their deepest secrets doing such times.

    It's not spoiling a child to give them their own bedroom, for that's a privilege they shouldn't take for granted. However, keep in mind that these are still hard times. So, not anyone can afford to give their children such a luxury.

  9. Sparklea profile image60
    Sparkleaposted 10 years ago

    Growing up, my sister and I shared a bedroom until we went to college.  We had twin beds, and there was never a problem.
    After I married we bought a three bedroom house...we had a son and a daughter, so they each had their own room.  As they grew into their teen years, they loved having their privacy and their own space.  So after I divorced, remarried, my second husband and I purchased a house that happened to have three bedrooms, which my son and daughter loved.  They have always had their own rooms, where they could play the radio, and enjoy their privacy.  We did not own a computer back then nor were cell phones being used. 
    In this day and age I guess maybe kids would covet their privacy more, my opinion only.

  10. lone77star profile image73
    lone77starposted 10 years ago

    I grew up sharing a room with one of my brothers. It helps to teach humility and social skills.

    The loner doesn't always develop arrogance and anti-social attitudes, but with ego, such things are all too possible.

    Sharing a room is a good thing. It has love written all over it.

    1. DREAM ON profile image81
      DREAM ONposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      When I was young my mother had four boys and we had two sets of bunk beds we all learned to get along.Then as we got older the two oldest moved out and we still shared one room but with a lot more room.Looking back they were some of my best memories.

  11. profile image0
    Mklow1posted 10 years ago

    I don't think there is a problem with it as long as the kids don't have a problem with it. In my case, we have enough bedrooms, but my kids are boys under the age of five, yet very close in age, so they are best friends and would consider it a punishment if we put them in separate rooms. In 3 or 4 years, this might change, but for now, it is a pretty good arrangement for all of us.

  12. peachpurple profile image82
    peachpurpleposted 10 years ago

    my son age 7 is still sharing the same room as ours. That's because we have 4 bedrooms and 6 people are living under one roof. Uncle, grandparents, teen daughter, we and my son, study room.

  13. gmwilliams profile image84
    gmwilliamsposted 6 years ago

    An emphatic NO, children need their privacy.  I feel that it is uncivilized for children to share bedrooms.  Each child should have HIS/HER own room.  Children need individuation.  I can't believe this question.  Children shouldn't have to live on top of each other like packed rats, really!   That is why people should have the amount of children to give them a civilized, cultivated life instead of a primitive existence.  Children need privacy & crowding has deleterious effects on children.  I don't believe that this question was asked in this day & age?

  14. FatFreddysCat profile image93
    FatFreddysCatposted 6 years ago

    My brother and I shared a bedroom till I moved out of our parents' house in my early 20s. We never gave it much thought. The only thing that sucked was the lack of storage space for our stuff.

    1. gmwilliams profile image84
      gmwilliamsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      That is why you two needed SEPARATE rooms............. Children have SEPARATE rooms you know.

  15. Kathryn L Hill profile image77
    Kathryn L Hillposted 6 years ago

    The question is (in my mind) are separate bedrooms more beneficial and in what ways?

    1. gmwilliams profile image84
      gmwilliamsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Children need SEPARATE bedrooms for privacy.  It isn't good for children to live on top of each like PACK ANIMALS.  Children being on top of each other is detrimental.  They need privacy & individuation.  Don't you sibling people believe in the concept of privacy!  There is NOTHING wrong w/children having separate rooms.

      Children need SEPARATE rooms for space & privacy.  They need to be alone-to read, to think, & create.  They need to establish their own individual territory.  Why is individualism a HARD concept for people who have siblings to COMPREHEND?  Children need SPACE, sibling people!   Being on top of each other is INTRUSIVE.  Children don't want other children's prying eyes in THEIR business- each needs HIS/HER room to have SPACE & AUTONOMY- also they can entertain THEIR friends in their rooms w/o the prying eyes of other children

      I DON'T FRICKING BELIEVE THAT I AM EXPLAINING THE CONCEPT OF SEPARATE ROOMS FOR CHILDREN- ARE WE LIVING IN THE STONE AGE WHERE PEOPLE LIVED ON TOP OF EACH OTHER!  In modern times, children have THEIR OWN rooms. It is the civilized thing.  Children need individual forms of expression & their own rooms are an outgrowth of THIS expression.  I don't believe that I am explaining this to educated people, Jeez!!!!!   This is beyond UNREAL!!!!!!

      1. Kathryn L Hill profile image77
        Kathryn L Hillposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Yes, but when they are very young, are they lonely in those rooms?  I really don't think being with siblings takes away a child's ability to tune into his/her creativity and interests. In fact, other children bring other experiences, viewpoints and interests.  Children learn to converse and get along with each other without the parents watching all the time. They benefit from shared privacy.

        But at some point, I agree, they need their own room. I would say at about age 12.

        Having one's own room is beneficial for many reasons. Many many many.

        1. gmwilliams profile image84
          gmwilliamsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          No, they AREN'T lonely.  They are alone.  There is a MARKED difference between alone & lonely.  They aren't lonely. They can spend their time reading, writing, drawing- YOU KNOW hobbies & interests.  Being alone fosters independence.  Constantly being w/people makes you needy, dependent, & uncomfortable w/being w/oneself.  It also makes you FEAR being alone.   It is a GOOD THING to be alone.    Do you constantly have to be w/people & are you AFRAID of being alone?    Being alone FOSTERS creativity away from prying eyes!

          Children w/siblings are FEARFUL of being alone & they must constantly be w/people which explains why children w/siblings are NEEDY, I have seen such behavior among people who grew up w/siblings, they CAN'T stand being alone for one second. This results on them constantly needing relationships, even staying w/friends & in relationships which are less than positive but they elect to stay in such relationships because they.......FEAR being alone!  How sad, how damn sad..............I know such people, I have one who always called me, she couldn't do anything alone.  I had to cut her off, she clinged to people & many sensed this & USED her.  Being alone is a GOOD thing, it doesn't make one NEEDY & CLINGLY........I LOVE hanging out by myself- it gives me solace to indulge in my hobbies. 

          I am going to give the sibling population an assignment- be ALONE periodically, it isn't a sin.  Just be alone- find out who YOU are.  Go out or stay in.  Find something YOU enjoy & do it w/o benefit of company.  Constantly having company can be DEHABITILATING, if not DRAINING.  Being alone is....REFRESHING, DON'T BE AFRAID!!!!

          1. Kathryn L Hill profile image77
            Kathryn L Hillposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Not everybody will agree. But, I do. Its VITAL to be alone and enjoy one's own company and go within where interests are found. But don't forget, screen technologies are in those "own" rooms.  Instead of finding their own activities, using their imaginations and developing their own creativity, they are watching and doing who knows what in those bedrooms with their own TVs , tablets, i pads, etc.

            1. gmwilliams profile image84
              gmwilliamsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

              Some people MISUSE being alone.  There are people who are EXTREME, they have no other hobbies so they become consumptive & delve into more.....NEGATIVE......activities.  Stop indulging in these only  Find & do POSITIVE/CONSTRUCTIVE activities.

              1. Kathryn L Hill profile image77
                Kathryn L Hillposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                This is an important issue, gmwilliams. It becomes very subtle because one starts to realize the importance of boundaries. Freedom within boundaries. Such as NO Screen Technology for children unless with a parent, supervised and for only a short time. How many will gasp at such boundaries?

                Also I do not agree with very young children using screen technologies. They can develop computer skills after all their concrete reading, writing and arithmetic skills have been learned, absorbed and mastered.

                1. gmwilliams profile image84
                  gmwilliamsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                  Computers are fine FOR LEARNING purposes, not the facebook & other social media nonsense-that is a waste of time.  I don't have social media-DON'T WANT IT!

                  1. Kathryn L Hill profile image77
                    Kathryn L Hillposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                    Yet ... cough cough … here we are. yikes !

                    (Sometimes agreeing, (totally), sometimes not, (at all.))

  16. Kathryn L Hill profile image77
    Kathryn L Hillposted 6 years ago

    It is one thing to go within and operate on a level where one is connected to one's self. it is another to become addicted to the outer, bypassing one's connection to self. 

    Computer technologies CAN be tools for connection to self, creativity and self-education. But the connection to one's inner-self needs to be intact.

    Its a matter of compulsion vs self-guided will.

    2 urge, impulse, need, desire, drive; obsession, fixation, addiction; temptation.

    1. gmwilliams profile image84
      gmwilliamsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Like Kim Kardashian.  She is addicted to the outside.  She has no talent but wanted fame & adulation.....she made a tape, got noticed & the rest is history.   She became obsessed & made millions on NO TALENT.  She wanted to be NOTICED....NOTICED.....

      Kim wanted/needed people for her fuel.  She hasn't mastered the art of being contentedly alone- spending time alone-reading, hobbies, drawing........To many w/siblings, this is a foreign concept.  Kim had siblings & perhaps didn't get the attention she needed so she is making up for it by posting herself at every opportunity to get THAT FAME & ADULATION she didn't receive as a child. Kim is always screaming LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!

      1. Kathryn L Hill profile image77
        Kathryn L Hillposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        plus her mother raised her be such.
        The nut never falls far from the tree.


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