Did your grandparents have favorite and disfavored grandchildren?
Favoritism not only exists in immediate families but in extended families. I read an article regarding favoritism that grandparents show among their grandchildren. There are some grandchildren who are definitely treated better than other grandchildren. Factors include whether or not the grandparents like the parents or other emotional and psychological familial factors.
I never knew either of my grandfathers -- I met my maternal grandfather, saw him twice before he died, but never my paternal one. Of my grandmothers, one never played favorites. She treated ALL kids like her grandkids, and whenever we went to visit she had all the neighborhood kids stopping by and calling her "grandma" too. The other grandmother, however, plays favorites BIG TIME. She has no issue playing family members against each other, and seems to make judgments based on her assumptions about people rather than getting to know them. For instance, she has always assumed that I'm like my mother, and that I'm spoiled because I'm the youngest. As such, I've always been the not-favorite. Neither is true in the eyes of the rest of the world, but she's convinced, and I've felt her displeasure since long before I could understand why I was treated differently. She is the only grandparent still alive, but is no longer interested in dealing with the person she thinks I am, and I am no longer interested in her scorn for that imagined person who always stands in front of me when she looks my way. This is where I'm thankful that it is possible for us to redefine "family," allowing us to regard only those who participate in a mutually supporting unit as such.
My grandmothers loved all their grandchildren, but both of them favored their first grandchild, or so it seems to me. It may not even have been intentional, but there is something special about the first.
I have also witnessed that the children of the favorite child get special favors, but in a loving family, none of this is acute enough to prohibit the flow of love. Grandmothers' hugs still make everything better for everyone.
Yes! I will not go through the examples of both sets of grandparents yet offer some is who the first born is of both gender, who the youngest is of both gender, and the differences of the parents of the grandchildren regarding their siblings position in the Grandparents perspective and perceptions. I think that pretty much agrees with what you pointed out with the question's introduction.
I was my grandma's favorite but only because I loved her more than my siblings loved her. I was happy to see her and always wanted to sleep next to her. I made her bed and served her meals. I just adored her while my sisters ignored her. My own father and mother have favorite grandchildren and they aren't my kids. That hurts, but oh, well. I finally got over it because I realized that I wasn't their favorite child to begin with.
My mother and mother in law never favored any grandchild. But my sister was a single parent for a while, and the entire family came to love the child in a special way, including my mother. We all feel partially like a parent to this child who is now happily married and a mother. My mom loved the child because they slept together every night and when my sis had work, my mom took care of the child. Up to now, she's viewed by all of us as more than a niece and like our child, She made my grandmother very, very happy. She also has a son and we dote on him because we often get Skype visits with him.
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