As a child/teen, did your parents pressure you to have an A average and if you did not have an
A average, did your parents consider you to be inept, even unintelligent?
My parents never cared about our grades, never asked for our report cards, and didn't really care if we went to school. Our Mom just didn't want us home. Even if we were sick. She'd leave us at school on a cot. Sadly, none of graduated either.
Yes it is. Now as I look back, it was terrible. I guess they never worried about our future, just if we minded and got along with each other. Can't change it, forward on!
My parent said she would give me money for every "A" that I received. I had so many "A's" she had to stop giving me money.
My mom was not exactly a "Tiger Mom" however she was known for breaking out the belt if she felt our report cards reflected a lack of effort on our parts. There was no Sylvan Learning Center.
The belt was our tutor.
Also another motivator was denigrating the child, telling him/her that he/she will work at a dead end job if grades weren't up to snuff. Child would be further told that he/she is not apt, stupid, or retarded.
Are we related? LOL!
Seriously I can't tell you how often I was asked; "Are you retarded?" "Have you lost your mind?" " You're f-ing up your life! "Maybe you should just give your uncle a call to see if he can get you a job in the steel mill!"
My parents always encouraged us to do the best we could do. Good grades came easy so it wasn't a problem, however they always made sure we did our homework and we knew school came first. We didn't spend the night away from home on school nights. Bad grades would mean losing out on activities or whatever until they came up. I always remember what a teacher told me regarding one of my children. She said she'd rather have "well rounded" students who made acceptable grades in everything than the extreme "gotta have an A" students who tended to fall smooth apart if they didn't get an A. Like they couldn't cope with anything less than perfect. Well, good grades are certainly important, but kids need to learn to fail just as they need to learn to succeed.
An A wasn't needed, but it had to be B- or better. For us, it was an expectation. "We expect you to do well because we know you are capable of it." Keep in mind, we were all capable of it. She wasn't asking more than was possible.
They did not judge our intelligence by class grades, but rather they judged our effort by them.
I was told to make an A in school. In elementary school, I was an A student but in high school and college,a B student much to my parent's chagrin! If one wasn't an A student, my parents looked down on him/her! They were quite intolerant of failures.
I struggled in my elementary school years up to about grade 4. My mother did try to push me not to be an A student but just to pass. She took me to see a child psychologist and found out that I am learning disabled-I have dyslexia. The psychologist told my mom that I would eventually get caught up and that I was exceptionally intelligent. Yeah I did and took me a while did go on to college. She offered incentives like a dime a week-a lot of money back then-when I put in an effort and did my homework neatly.
What a GREAT mother you had. God bless mom! She was a very patient and evolved mother, the type of mother that every mother should aspire to BE..
Thank you very much and it taught me when I became a mother with my younger daughter being autistic
My siblings and I were expected to have A or B; and I do not remember our parents telling us that; we just seemed to know it and a couple of my brothers were Valedictorians. It never really mattered to me. I wanted a good grade but beating someone out for something was not important.
I got to spend one year tutoring other students in math because the teacher felt sure I knew it all and I had no work to do the whole year but had to take all the tests.
That was fun.
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