Is it required to go to the reception after a funeral?

1. 78

   davidlivermoreposted 9 years ago

   Is it required to go to the reception after a funeral?
   
   I'm going to the funeral of my grandmother here soon.  For the most part I haven't seen that side of the family in about 15 years except once at my mother's funeral.  Some of my worst memories growing up were about this side of the family.  So this begs the question, am I required to go to the reception to interact with people who I know I don't want to interact with?

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2. 69

   lisavollrathposted 9 years ago

   You're not going to the funeral for all those other people. You're going to pay your respects to your grandmother. If you feel you've done that at the funeral, there's no need to go to the reception.

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   1. 83

      DWDavisRSLposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      David, Lisa has given a succinct answer to which nothing needs to be added. I endorse this course of action wholeheartedly.

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3. 70

   bodyleviveposted 9 years ago

   No, it is not required. It's only what you want to do. When my mother died,, I didn't have a reception. It's not what she would have wanted.

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4. 69

   Irish Shrewposted 9 years ago

   I'm going to go toward the opposite side of the spectrum here. Who created the worse memories? Do you know each and every family member that you are defining?
   what I mean by this- I was very close to my siblings for so many years. I was known as the 'fun' one. But then my siblings decided they couldn't handle my mom after she slipped into the life of Dementia. I became the 'enemy' after asking questions about her care. They liked that she was taken to a facility and drugged up. I was then known as the mean aunt that may be suing the others. Did I? Was I really? No. But that is what the children gleaned from their parents. There was a lot of innuendo along with finger pointing. My point? You will always ask yourself if it was wise in ignoring members that loved your grandmother. Are you being fair in your summation? Could you possibly have been led astray in family disputes. Good luck, but know this- when you get older you will wish you could go back in time, get to know relatives on your terms, your time table-it may be too late.

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5. 90

   Jean Bakulaposted 9 years ago

   No. You honored your grandmother by going to her funeral. Those receptions are normally for the "cliques" in the family who always did everything together, and you've not been in touch with them. These receptions also allow relatives to get drunk, in order to tell themselves they are "propping up" the family for a few more hours. This often adds badly. I don't go to them either. I just leave after the funeral, and if it's my parent's or I'm in the position where I have responsibility, I don't have a reception. If people want to seek you out to comfort you, they can send a card or letter. Follow your instincts, and I'm sorry for your loss..

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