Any hope for a Narcissist to give an apology?
My ex-husband has NO relationship with my sons. My older son told him a year ago, that until he apologized for the years of trouble he caused, he wouldn't have anything to do with him. He just wrote a letter to me, but it simply says he forgives me and expects me to forgive him and "move on". I am SO angry that he is such an idiot and SO sad that he falls short for my sons. My son said that there is no extension of time, his father should have responded immediately, it is too late. I'd LOVE to have hope that he would change, yet deep down, I am glad he won't be around to cause more chaos.
The hardest thing to understand about someone like that is that there is some reason that they hold back. Perhaps their parent held back or was extremely extreme. A person's worst fear is that they will someday become their parent, or a collection of their worst negative traits. Perhaps you should forgive him. Your son's should be instructed that in no way shape or form was this their fault. They should spend no time going to counsellors trying to find out where they personally went wrong. And, forgiveness seems to be the best option. Anger may be what you think may correct the situation, but, apparently, that person dealt with enough anger already and has pulled away. Best to feel sorry for the person, forgive and forget past wrongs. Then, as the person acts like they do, roll your eyes and sigh.
There is a slim hope but that is it. The big issue with narcissists are that they believe they need to be seen as being right all the time. To apologize is to admit that they were in the wrong, which is why many narcissists "if" they do apologize will give "conditional apologies." These apologies may sound like "I am sorry that "you" were offended by my remarks," as opposed to "I am sorry for my remarks." Sometimes the best thing in life is to separate yourself from the situation, which your son chose to do. Life is way too short to deal with people who are like that. Better to enjoy life with the people who treat you the right way, than to try and spend your life compromising for a narcissist.
If that person gives an apology, it is only because the result is to their benefit, not that that they mean it or regret their actions.
by Readmikenow 3 years ago
What should someone do if their loved one refuses to accept a sincere apology and holds onto anger?
by Koren Kartalis 4 years ago
How do you apologize to someone for making the same mistake you've made many times before?The person isn't even on speaking terms with you. And the apology will be the umpteenth one for transgressions that you previously promised would not reoccur.
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