What is the difference between Step-Son and Biological Son?

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   Karin Weakleyposted 8 years ago

   What is the difference between Step-Son and Biological Son?
   
   

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   nochanceposted 8 years ago

   A biological child shares your DNA. A step-child usually shares the DNA of your partner but not you.

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      Karin Weakleyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Well yes lol, but my thing was, as a Step-Parent what makes it different emotionally.

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      WordCrafter09posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Depends on the situation but "actual" (including adopted-actual) parents/children most often know/feel the difference (even in imperfect or difficult-age-erlated parent/child relationships).

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3. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   
   
   It all comes down to how the adult relates to the child and how the child relates to the adult. I've know some people who don't use the word "step" when talking about blended families. Just as no one introduces their spouse as being "my second husband/wife".
   Naturally if either the child or the adult don't embrace one another as being "family" there is going to be distance.
   It's not uncommon for the ex spouse to fan the flames of discontent because they may not want their child spending time with you.
   Another issue is (expectations). Some parents are very strict with their natural children but cut slack for their step children or vice versa.
   It's important that you and your spouse are on the same page.
   If the parents clearly don't treat the children equally it causes problems. Never marry anyone whose children you can't stand!
   Ultimately how we (feel about them) makes all the difference.
   One man's opinion!

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      Karin Weakleyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly! I hate the word STEP, I just call him "son" or for those who don't think Step-Parents count as much as Biological Parents do, I call him my Bonus Son. Thank you for answering

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      WordCrafter09posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Treating them equally is one thing.  Seeming to not acknowledge or feel  any difference between, say, your own eight-year-old and the six- or ten-year old child of the second spouse you married a few years ago is a different thing.

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   3. 71

      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      ME Whelan,
      Being treated equally is everything from a child's point of view!
      My guess is even with biological children parents still have their "favorites" which proves it's not just about the DNA.

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   WordCrafter09posted 8 years ago

   When I first saw this question I skipped it because I thought, "This person knows the difference.  What kind of question is this?"  After reading your additional explanation in comments, I have to say that I don't agree with worrying about using the word, "step". There's a legitimate and real difference between a biological child and the child of someone a parent marries.  The word, "step", by itself, says nothing about how close the step-parent is or isn't to the child, or even if the child has been around since close to birth, with the other biological parent being completely out of the picture.
   
   The word, "step", says nothing about degree of bond or difference in bond, but not all biological parents even have the quality of bond that would be expected/ideal.
   
   "Step" should not be a dirty word, or a kind of dirty word, that someone is afraid to use.  Children can have all kinds of relationships with all kinds of "special other adults", including step-parents.
   
   To me, the only time a step child should be called, "my child", is if she or he has been adopted by the step parent.  Other than that, I think a parent's lumping all kids under "my children" can suggest not acknowledging the realities of the situation and certainly can send the message to a child that his "biological other-parent" is being diminished.  (Maybe the realities of the other parent mean that his role in the child's life IS diminished, but, to me, it's a separate issue to be dealt with (as in, "Your biological father is not in your life much, and isn't it nice that you have such a good relationship with 'X'  ".)
   
   Differences in relationships and time-together aside, I just think it's a nicer and healthier thing to securely and happily say, "This is my step-son" and highlight for the child and anyone else how nice/close a step-relationship can be, or maybe even why it's only going ever be a certain kind of close because the child is close that "biological other-parent".
   
   What is the difference between acknowledging a close (or distant)  relationship with a grandparent or an aunt/uncle or a really close friend?  I think people (all people) just need to examine what it is that makes them prefer not saying "step" and address those issues (with their spouse, with the children, and within themselves).  People are seldom insecure about saying they're closer to one grandmother than the other.  "Step" is not a bad word, and "actual parent" is reality (which kids need).
   
   Why not acknowledge both?

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   1. 71

      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      To my knowledge no one said "step" was a bad word.
      Life is a (personal) journey.
      Everyone is entitled to refer to their family members anyway (they) wish. It doesn't mean one person is "right" and the other is "wrong". It's (their) preference.

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      Karin Weakleyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I call him son,to myself.For his benefit when in public,I call him Step-son as he knows who his mother is and I would never let him feel uncomfortable in any way.No one said STEP is a bad word,or  a mean one.Just a personal thing.To me myself.

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   sassydeeposted 8 years ago

   i believe the only difference is in the DNA

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      Karin Weakleyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Absolutely!

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   tamarawilhiteposted 8 years ago

   If the boy's biological mother is out of the picture, you can become an adoptive mom and de facto mother.
   However, when his biological mother remains in the picture, the step-mom is second place to bio-mom.

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