I am a stepmother to 3 boys who’s mother is a Narcissist. She goes so far as to call police with false allegations, uses the boys to further her agenda, intentionally tries to cause a divorce, and even stalks me.
Anyone have a similar experience they can share? Tips to assist us in creating a safer and healthier situation?
She sounds toxic. The only way to deal with toxic people is to cut off all contact with them. If that is not possible, try to limit your conversations with her.
I have narcissist parents and I joined a few private support groups online who are so much help. I know you are asking here but there might not be many who understand what narcissism is so finding a forum specifically on narc abuse might help more . Maybe you should look into joining some support groups just because there are so many people out there that are in the same situation as you who could give you advice. I also recommend learning everything you can about narcissists and how they work. For example, if she's using her kids she may have a golden child, scapegoat, lost child, etc and those different psychological categories and how a narc treats them damages the kids in different ways. Narcs can do a lot of damage to their kids so it's good to understand the role narc mothers play in their kids lives. If your kids start having behavioral problems you may be able to understand why if it's their mother's actions causing the problems.
I've done so much research on narcs that when I'm around my parents I can catch them manipulating me every time and put a stop to it. Drives them nuts they can't control me anymore. Basically, study your enemy to protect yourself. If she's stalking you, calling cops on you, document everything if you can. Texts, take pictures, dashcam on your car, put up security cameras that record, whatever you need to protect yourself...You never know when you'll need proof you are a good person and they aren't. Sorry I can't help specifically with your problem. I know things from the child's point of view. Never dealt with a marital perspective before. Good luck with your situation.
I have a narcissistic father and brother and my parents divorce was nasty but I have limited memories. I’ve joined narcisstic abuse support groups through Facebook but it’s all mostly relationships. I can’t find anyone Co parenting with your stepkids mother who’s a narcissist.
I have asked the family services if they can assist in third party court monitored communication. It’s impossible to keep her out of our lives.
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