Are parents too protective?
Is not letting children leave the nest damaging their social skills, creativity, emotions, and character?
I believe parents are too protective these days. Too nurturing of their offspring. But in a world where spanking is seen as abuse and children are being kidnapped and molested so often, I can understand why parents are they way they are.
Maybe we should start educating on parenting to our children?
I feel a lot of parents just are not good at being parents. Some people can paint very well or be amazing at math and other can't even draw stick figure and can't count without a Calc.
Time is ever changing. Being a parent can be a hard task to educate their children. We may be protective but having the right attitude to bring up our kids is vital.
I always support character's building to nurture them for society. I have witnessed too many of kids being wild without proper guidance from their parents. This is not a good sign.
It is being a parent to teach the right value and not to pamper our kids to behave badly.
I always thought that I won't be over-protective. Well, all changed when I had a child. But I do recognize the importance of keeping safety and learning and exploration balanced.
I think parents are too protective, more than before, but maybe because nowadays there are more dangers than before, also - or does every parent throughout the centuries think that?
Anyway, it is very difficult to find the balance. Personally, I try not to protect my children too much, but whenever I see, for instance, another child being bad to them or something on that line, I go nuts - that's all it takes go figure - so, I try to distance myself and just look at the sky or something like that... It's not easy... The most important thing is to try to find out if we are exagerating and try to correct our own behaviour as parents... But surely I think children would benefit from us, parents, being less protective and probably their whole development would be healthier...
I find that some of the parents on my street are too UNprotective. They just let their kids (some who look no older than three or four) ride their bikes in the middle of the street with no supervision whatsoever. And sometimes even when a car approaches, they'll simply remain in the middle of the road and not move over!
This one boy who looks about eight is even allowed to ride a four wheeler in the street all by himself!
I don't get how some parents can be so irresponsible. While I don't think it's healthy for parents to be constantly hovering over their kids and not allowing them to develop and learn things on their own, they should also realize that they are still just kids and that they can't always make the best judgements as their brains are still developing.
I have been told that I am too overprotective with my boys according to my boyfriend! There is something to be said for being too oveprotective. Many people, who suffer from codependency like myself often have trouble letting their children do things on there own,or they think that they won't be needed by their kids anymore if they can do things for themselves. In this day and age though you do have to be more careful then our parents needed to be with us. I also realize that sometime I put my own fears onto my children and I really try not to do this. Like with rides at an amusement park, particularly water rides and rollercoasters! My nine year old loves these and I have let him go with another adult but I didn't want to let him go! I was so afraid he would have the same scary reaction as I did - but, guess what? He's not me and he loved the rides!
Back in the day when I was growing up, my parents were very protective. I wasn't able to walk down to the railroad tracks that led to the Mississippi River by myself. Not long after I was warned, a body was found dumped by those tracks. I was educated in parochial schools, with my parents secure that my siblings and I were safe. Even the best laid plans don't always protect innocent children from predators. By the time I graduated from high-school, I was afraid of my own shadow. I found it difficult to enjoy independence and quickly married a man I didn't really know. However, I am shy by nature, so the old question about nature or nurture confuses the issue, making a straightforward response difficult.
Today, the internet complicates parental ability to insulate their children from harm. The news parades a relentless number of ways that children are abused in the schools, the library, in the homes of friends and via the internet in their own home. Short of locking your children up, which in itself constitutes abuse, there is no plan that ensures safety for anyone. Just last week a school bus full of children returning from a field-trip collided with a truck, leaving many children traumatized and several injured.
I remember as a grade-schooler, attending the church picnic with my parents. One of the carnival operators started making suggestive gestures at me, which I did not understand other than it creeped me out. My parents didn't notice. So, as protective as they strived to be, it was my own observation that kept me at their sides.
I think parents need to accompany very young children everywhere until they are old enough to understand the importance of protecting themselves. When children become teenagers, isolating them as a means of protection isn't productive. Teenagers rebel and parental over-protection defeats the intent, with a rise in oppositional behavior that puts teens in harms way. Parenting, with the best of intentions, is trying and difficult. Often, parents must go with their gut, sometimes with the rules changing, depending on the situation and the child.
Parenting is the toughest balancing act in the world.
It depends what you mean by "leaving the nest".
If you mean moving out of the parents' home, by the time kids are old enough to be thinking about moving out of their parents' home, their social skills, creativity, emotions and character (or lack of any or all of those things) have generally been set in stone for a good fourteen-or-so years.
If, on the other hand, by "leavng the nest" you mean younger children just going out of the house; that depends on how old they are, where they're going, what the circumstances are, and any number of other things. It's very possible (and fairly easy) to set limits on where children go, depending on how old they are; without hampering their development in the areas mentioned. It takes a little thinking, and it takes knowing what a child of any age needs (as far as social/other activity outside the home). Obviously, never, ever (or hardly ever) letting a child do anything outside the home isn't a healthy thing. But, if the question is about not letting a child go places without supervision, or at least a parent/adult standing somewhere nearby; that all depends on the age of the child, the circumstances, and other things.
by Grace Marguerite Williams 8 years ago
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by Mom Kat 5 years ago
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