I want your stories

1. 88

   BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years ago

   One of my favorite things in the world is hearing stories about things children say and do that's hilarious. I have dedicated a hub to it named "Kids say and do the craziest sh*t" and really would love to do a series of them. I would love to hear your stories and get your permission to include them in one of my up-and-coming hubs. After all, my five year old is spouting off more and more each day, and my two year old is learning to talk...

   replyreport
   1. 68

      JY3502posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      YOU MAY FIND MY HUB PAGES INTERESTING.  I HAVE QUITE A FEW STORIES INVOLVING  WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR.  YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO USE THEM.
      
      JOHN YOUNG HTTP://HUBPAGES/JY3502

      replyreport
   2. 60

      Nduka@Chistreposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I can really help you get lots of true life stories,but we need to talk about it.
      Nduka Ozor
      Africa

      replyreport
2. 0

   Poppa Bluesposted 13 years ago

   Okay I have a funny one for ya. I was down at the community pool with my 5 year old nephew. He was at the far end talking with the young and pretty life guard and I was on the opposite end lounging in one of the lounge chair. It was hot that day and there were quite a few mothers with their children enjoying the pool at the time. Now my nephew JP has quite a loud and husky voice for his age, almost like an Irish tenor. So imagine my surprise when from the far end of the pool out of nowhere he decides to shout "Hey Poppa, do you have a penis?"
   
   Well needless to say I was embarrassed. I mean how do you answer a question like that, especially from across the pool in a crowd? I just said, "Well, I used to, and then I got married."

   replyreport
   1. 88

      BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      AHAHA!! I love the answer as much as I love the story! That is a great one...

      replyreport
3. 0

   Deborah Sextonposted 13 years ago

   When my son was 8 years old he listened to Stevie Wonder and watched as he held his head up and moved it from side to side.
   One night while watching TV, Ray Charles (also blind) and whom my son did not know, came on TV. My son watched him as he raised his head up and moved it from side to side. "Ah mom" he said "You know he saw Stevie Wonder do that"

   replyreport
   1. 88

      BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      hehe! Kids are so awesome...

      replyreport
   2. 59

      samboiamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Deborah, that was too stinkin funny.

      replyreport
4. 0

   wordscribe41posted 13 years ago

   Great topic, Becca.  I have lots, but this one is still sticking in my mind.  For Mother's Day, my son made me a beautiful card. It had hearts all over it, a picture he drew of the two of us, and stickers galore.  It said:  "To my Mommy" on the outside.  I was thinking, wow, how Hallmark looking for a 7 year old.  I opened it up and it said:  "Anyone who doesn't like you is an IDIOT!"    Out of the mouths of babes.  Not exactly a Hallmark moment, but the best card I've ever received.

   replyreport
   1. 88

      BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      

      replyreport
5. 65

   Faybe Bayposted 13 years ago

   I have so many favorites about my son. He was slow to learn to talk. He had no speech impediment, like I did, but would instead mix up letters. Like "I Yubs you mommy." as if he could not form l sounds yet, but would coloer with a "Lellow" crayon. He loved computers, and would always hover when anyone was on a PC nearby. He was not allowed to touch and knew it. He called them Peters. (And peter pan peanut butter he called pewter pan?)
   
   So, my daughter meets a boy on-line, they are old enough to date, but I want to meet him first. His name was Joe, (Sean called him Doe) We are in a buffet restaaurant and it is so crowded. Joe has a laptop with him, which were not so common then. He brought it out to show us his new toy, and before anyone could stop him, Sean climbed up in Joe's lap, cuddled up to him and said "Doe, tan I pay witch yer PETER?" The whole dining room went quiet and everyone was staring at our table, they all knew what it sounded like he meant. (Joe can I play with your peter?) Joe turned an amazing color of red/purple I have never seen before, and I thought my sixteen year old daughter would kill her brother on the spot. As I stood and gave an ill received explanation to the entire dining room as whispers spread of what my son had said. I don't think they believed me, I am lucky I did not end up in jail.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      wordscribe41posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      So cute. 

      replyreport
      1. 65

         Faybe Bayposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         thanks he'll never live it down.

         replyreport
         1. 0

            wordscribe41posted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I was thinking that same thing.  That one's gonna stick. 

            replyreport
   2. 68

      JY3502posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      AND I THOUGHT MY STORIES WERE FUNNY!!!!

      replyreport
      1. 88

         BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         OH!!! I love these stories!!! I'm working on the second Kids Say and Do the Craziest Sh*t hub at this moment, so there's still plenty of time to contribute your stories!!! You guys will receive full credit and a pointer to your hubs through the stories... I love it!!!!

         replyreport
6. 65

   Faybe Bayposted 13 years ago

   Becca? hope you come back.

   replyreport
   1. 88

      BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      hey hey! sorry I had to leave for a while. had some stuff to take care of. Your story - LMAO!!!! That was so great I had to call my mom over to read it, too.

      replyreport
      1. 65

         Faybe Bayposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I thought "late to forum again! See if I publish the story he'll kill me, but if you publish it, it'll be our little secret, he may never even find out. Sneaky right?

         replyreport
         1. 88

            BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Hey, that works for me! LOL

            replyreport
7. 60

   CrystalStarWomanposted 13 years ago

   This story is a little gross... however...
   
   This happened when my son (Tom) was about 3 years old.
   
   One day, not long after eating our dinner, we were all sitting relaxing in the living room, except for Tom, who was running round and round the room.
   
   Tom ran over to my husband, who leaned forward to give him a kiss and Tom promptly threw up! Some into my husband's mouth! (Yuk!) and the rest on the floor.
   
   There was stunned silence for a few seconds and then Tom, looking slightly shocked and a little puzzled, said:
   
   "My dinner fell out!"
   
   Classic!

   replyreport
   1. 88

      BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      OH!!!! That's disgusting and hilarious at the same time!!!

      replyreport
8. 59

   samboiamposted 13 years ago

   This story happened when my two sons were about three and four years old. I was in the living room watching television when I heard laughing and giggles coming from my bedroom. I knew by the sound of their enjoyment it probably wasnt going to be good.
   
   I went into the bedroom and to my surprise I found my children, the bed, floor, dresser and ceiling covered with baby powder.
   
   "What are you doing?" I shouted. My four year old looked at me and said excitedly," Daddy it's ok. I have already spanked us for this." Needless to say I fell out with laughter.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      Deborah Sextonposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      That's too stinking funny too..haha

      replyreport
   2. 88

      BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Love it! That's wonderful. I could hear one of mine saying the same thing...

      replyreport
9. 84

   Sa Toyaposted 13 years ago

   Just this morning my little brother, who's 8 made me crack up. It may be one of these funny moments that you have to be there for... but I'll share nonetheless.
   
   He was convinced that he had a couple of teeth growing out of one.
   
   "Oh my gosh..my tooth's bruised!"
   
   "Are you sure?" I said.
   
   "Yes..it's because there's more growing our of it." he said tilting his head to the side, he was a little sad.
   
   "Sounds like you've got riders" my sister said. The term we use for teeth, growing out of teeth.
   
   "Let me see" I was thinking impromptu dentist trip.
   
   "It's all bumpy, not lie the ones in front." he was adamant about his condition.
   
   I laughed hard when he opened his mouth and pointed to the tooth. it was a molar, you know the big teeth at the back.
   
   "There now teeth growing out your tooth...it's just a big tooth"
   
   "What...why so big..I'm only little I don't need teeth that big...these ones in front are little and smooth..are you sure?"
   
   "Yes, it's a big tooth"
   
   "Alright then... I thought I was in trouble there, all this teeth and dentist business"
   
   "You know granny and granddad put theirs in a cup at night time...why don't I have that, then I could just pop them in and out...."
   
   He carries mumbling about it softly to himself, while the rest of us crack up at the fact he though his molar was 3 teeth growing out of one.

   replyreport
   1. 60

      bonny2010posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I have a hub of cartoons called Nip and Tuck if you are interested
      http://hubpages.com/hub/ThePontificationsofNipandTuck

      replyreport
   2. 88

      BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      aww! poor thing! that is cute though!

      replyreport
10. 72

    Cagsilposted 13 years ago

    Hey Becca,
    
    Just dropped a post to say Hello and Good afternoon(noon here).
    
    See how you are doing?

    replyreport
    1. 88

       BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       (((Cagsil))) I'm peachy! Doing well on the challenge so far. How are you today? (it's almost noon here, as well)

       replyreport
       1. 72

          Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          I am doing well. Glad to hear you're doing well on the challenge. Like I said before...I know you can do it, get it done, accomplish your goal.
          
          So, I hope you have a wonderful day. I don't want to get too far off topic.

          replyreport
          1. 88

             BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Well, I send the same wishes your way, and I thank you again for your support. It is very much appreciated!

             replyreport
11. 63

    Granny's Houseposted 13 years ago

    One day I was babysitting my two and four year old g-daughters. I put the baby down for a nap. My daughter-in-law is some what of a health food nut. I am a chocaholic and went in search of some goodies. In the cupboard I found a bag of chocolate chips and gramcrackers. So I put a layer of c-chips on a cracker and put a craker on the top. I handed one to Olivia and made myself one. While we were enjoying our cracker of goodness, I said to Olivia, wow this is good, huh Olivia. She said, yeah we are a--holes huh grandmom.I was Shocked for a moment at what she said,but I think she ment because we were eating her mom's c-hips for her cookies. Who would think a four year old would put that together. I didn't tell what she said to her mom,but I did tell my son and we laughed our buts off.

    replyreport
    1. 88

       BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       HAHA!!! That's great. I'm sure you couldn't think of any sort of reply...

       replyreport
12. 61

    Chaotic Chicaposted 13 years ago

    Like most parent here, I have more than my share of funny stories but I will stick with one more recent.  My three year old daughter is the youngest of five and spends a good deal of time with grandma as she is not in school yet.
    Last week she came out of the bathroom with nothing on her bottom.  I asked her where her underwear was.  She told me with her pants.  I asked her where her pants were.  She straight faced told me with her underwear.  I tried not to laugh but everyone else lost it-I did, too!
    What do you say when your three year old uses logic like that?

    replyreport
    1. 88

       BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Yea! Duh mom! LOL!!!

       replyreport
       1. 61

          Chaotic Chicaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          If I didn't know any better I would've guessed she was being a smart alec on purpose! LOL Needless to say I called my mother & ma in law! It's been the talk of the family-until the next thing!

          replyreport
13. 69

    jayjay40posted 13 years ago

    I work at a school and one day a little girl came to me and said 'that boy just swore at me.' oh goodness I replied what did he say, 'he said the F word- He said I was fick!

    replyreport
    1. 88

       BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       
       
       Sounds like a similar one I was told. A girl kept telling her mother about the 'f' word and asked if she could say it. Her mother freaked and said she could never, ever say it! The little girl said to herself "Man, I didn't know fart was such a bad word..."

       replyreport
14. 60

    Cly Walshposted 13 years ago

    My daughter, who is four years old, said a rather funny thing a few weeks ago. My partner and I were not happy with her for not doing what we asked. Occasionally we will let her know we've 'got the sh*ts' with her - she came up to us after we let her know we were not happy with her for being naughty and pointed to each of us in turn and said "I've got your sh*ts and I've got your sh*ts - now you don't have the sh*ts with me!" and then stood there with a big grin. Cheeky bugger she is!

    replyreport
    1. 88

       BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       LOL!!!

       replyreport
15. 0

    sophsposted 13 years ago

    I was in the supermarket with my 2 year old daughter last week, we had finished shopping and were at the checkout paying, I could see her staring at this man, so I said 'Amelia don't stare at people it's rude', she looked at me as if I were stupid, turned back to the man and all of a sudden just lifted her dress right up and shouted at him 'Look at my big fat belly'! Ohhhhhh I was so embarrassed lol, he laughed like. I don't know where she got that from!

    replyreport
    1. 61

       Rayalternatelyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       You've got to wonder how much better the world would be if we all followed Amelia's lead!

       replyreport
       1. 0

          sophsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Haha! Alot better!

          replyreport
    2. 88

       BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Well, mom, she wanted him to see her belly!

       replyreport
16. 89

    Rochelle Frankposted 13 years ago

    I was doing playground duty at a school when a chubby little boy  of about7 years,ran up to me and complained that someone had called him the "C" word. I did not connect that to anything I'd ever heard on a playground, so I asked him if he could whisper the word to me.
    Coming close to my ear he whispered "Cheeseburger".

    replyreport
    1. 88

       BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       OH!!! LOL!!!!!!!

       replyreport
       1. 65

          Faybe Bayposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          You're going to have to write a book! A best seller LOL and dedicate it to all the hubbers who helped you become rich and famous... You are so gonna be rich and famous.

          replyreport
          1. 88

             BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Well, heck yes! I would do it in a heartbeat! hahaha! Not just for the money, but I really do love hearing these stories...

             replyreport
17. 65

    Faybe Bayposted 13 years ago

    Okay I am sorry for going off topic, but we need to keep this up top. The stories are great and I needed the laughs.

    replyreport
    1. 88

       BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       It's hard to get people to share their stories on here cuz they're usually too busy arguing with one another about nonsense. And I'm not talking about everyone, just the nit-pickeres. I'm sure you've met them...

       replyreport
18. 65

    Faybe Bayposted 13 years ago

    I know so an announcement is in order!
    
    
    Okay share your cute/funny things children have said Becca needs your stories. While you're here have a read of others, a few good laughs and then share, share, share.

    replyreport
    1. 88

       BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       LOL! Good job, Faybe. Thanks for the bump.
       

       replyreport
19. 88

    BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years ago

    Clockin out for the night. Hopefully more folks'll post to it and I'll have some lovely things to read when I wake up.  Gnite all.

    replyreport
20. 88

    BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years ago

    This just happened a minute ago.
    
    I was eating some nachos with jalapenos on top. My five year old came up to me and asked if he could try one of them. I told him it was hot and he wouldn't like it at all. He wouldn't take no for an answer and popped one in his mouth. He turned almost purple, looked at me wide eyed and angry, and said 'Why did you let me do that mommy?' I said, "I tried to tell you and you didn't hear it!" He said, "Well, you're old enough to know better than to let me do that!"

    replyreport
    1. 0

       sophsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Haha bless him! What a mean Mummy! lol

       replyreport
       1. 88

          BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          I know, right? I'm awful...

          replyreport
21. 60

    aoiffe379posted 13 years ago

    I am coaching a preschooler for a Spelling Bee in March 2010.I decided to  help her to remember the list words by giving her the meaning and using them in context, usually a sentence. She was getting jam wrong as she began it with a g instead of a j. Finally,I got what I thought was a brilliant idea and  said:
    "Put the jam on the ham."
    She knew how to spell ham and I thought she would get the connection. She looked at me and said,
    "You don't put jam on ham.You put jam on bread!"
    The Librarian and I had a good laugh.Now I have to watch my sentences!

    replyreport
    1. 88

       BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       lol. Too cute!

       replyreport
       1. 60

          bonny2010posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          walked past the toilet theother day and heard somebody in there counting, i knocked on the door and asked  who was in there - it was my six year old grandson Andy. on asking what he was doing, he replied - "just counting my worms"- apparantly his mother had just wormed him.

          replyreport
          1. 88

             BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Once again, disgusting but funny. Gotta love kids!

             replyreport
22. 57

    Mileeposted 13 years ago

    When my son was little, I say around 8yrs old, I had to take him to work with me one day because he was to sick to send to school. I'm a hair stylist so I made him a soft bed in the back room where he could lay down while I cut my clients hair. My next client came in who was a total stranger. About that time my son comes out from the back room in his sock feet. OMG his feet smelled so bad after sweating in his shoes. So I told him to put his shoes on. He looked at my client and said "My mom only wants me to put my shoes on because she thinks my feet stinks, but you should smell her farts." OMG my face turned every shade of red. And as mortified as I was I laughed til I cried. It was all I could do to get through that mans hair cut.

    replyreport
23. 0

    Lecieposted 13 years ago

    i have a 4 year old niece. when i was a child i called bananas, nannies. well my niece often times talks more like an adult than a child. one day i was watching her and she was hungry. so for the fun of it i asked her if she would like a nannie. she said a what?
    i explained that some people call bananas, nannies. she said, no i want something chocolate. well when she eats chocolate, like most kids she bounces off the walls. i was determined that she not only call a banana a nannie but that she would eat one. we argued back and forth her saying chocolate and me saying nannie. finally after about 5 minutes of this she breaks down and says, ok i want a nannie. too bad i didn't get it on camera because that's the first time i've ever seen her act more like a child than an adult. ever since then when i talk to her on the phone, the first word out of her mouth is nannie and then a bunch of giggling. my sister now hates me because my niece refuses to use the word banana.

    replyreport
24. 61

    Falsor Wingposted 13 years ago

    One night as a kid I got sick and threw up in my bed. my dad put me down in his bed and cleaned up my room, the moment he returned to bed I threw up on his bed. Apparently my first remark was, "We're out of beds."

    replyreport
25. 88

    BeccaHubbardWoodsposted 13 years ago

    Just an update for you all!!!!
    
    Kids Say and Do the Craziest Sh*t Part II is now up and running! Go check it out, I placed links to your profiles under each contribution! There is a Part III in the works at this very moment, so if you weren't on this one you will definitely be in the next one! Thanks again!!!

    replyreport
    1. 74

       seanorjohnposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I have a hub called "family stories" and another one called "why I'm scared of mice" you can include if you think they would be appropriate.

       replyreport