Rejected by eHarmony?

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  1. RelationshipGurus profile image59
    RelationshipGurusposted 16 years ago

    Did you search for your soul mate on eHarmony? Were you rejected with a message: 'You are in those 20% of the people that are not compatible with anybody!'?

    eHarmony has rejected over a million people looking for love!

    Their reject people who are not straight, without Conservative Christianity believes or have had difficult, unhappy childhood... 

    Are you one of the rejected?  How did you feel?

    1. Mark Knowles profile image58
      Mark Knowlesposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      Have you tried the Atkins diet and a therapist? Might help big_smile

      1. Katie4ever profile image56
        Katie4everposted 16 years agoin reply to this

        Have you tried viagra? Might help... You'll be more satisfied and more happy and probably won't be sarcastic...

        1. Mark Knowles profile image58
          Mark Knowlesposted 16 years agoin reply to this

          Sounds like you speak from personal experience. Good for you. Sorry your husband/boyfriend needs it.

          Go look at the OPs profile page. This is an advertisement. big_smile

          1. Katie4ever profile image56
            Katie4everposted 16 years agoin reply to this


            Really? Your sarcasm says that this is not an advertisement... It's really a personal experience... I feel sorry for you, guy, but don't be so mad... cause you look really funny

            1. Mark Knowles profile image58
              Mark Knowlesposted 16 years agoin reply to this

              big_smile OK - Sock puppet anyone?

              Guess you were the one that was supposed to answer the question huh?

              Sorry to have spoiled your marketing ploy LOL

              Better luck next time.

              Go ahead and answer:

              "Yes, I was very disappointed in eharmony, but I found a much better site that takes losers like me " LOL I found my perfect mate and it was only $400 LOL

  2. SweetiePie profile image84
    SweetiePieposted 16 years ago

    The Eharmony system is just flawed, that is all.  One time it rejected me, another time it accepted me, and then one time it matched me with people who were totally different than me.  This was four years ago, so maybe it works better now, but the bottom line is people do not have to pay to meet people online, and any company that tells you that you will meet better matches online just wants your money.  There are several free dating sites such as PlentyofFish, etc, but my personal opinion of all online dating sites is there are just too many people wanting a casual fling and not many looking for a long term commitment, and yes even on Eharmony too!  Many people do get married via online relationships, but honestly I cannot recommend it to anyone because the last person I knew that got married after meeting online has just got divorced.  I suppose online dating is a good tool for those who are time crunched, but I just went on too many blind dates with people that out and out lied.  In the end I stopped meeting people online because I feel it is dangerous to some degree, unless you are always willing to meet in public, etc.  Online dating can work, but I think the traditional way of meeting people can be just as easy too.

    1. Shirley Anderson profile image71
      Shirley Andersonposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      This would make a good hub, SweetiePie

      1. SweetiePie profile image84
        SweetiePieposted 16 years agoin reply to this

        Thanks for the suggestion Shirely, I think I may just do that smile.

    2. Marisa Wright profile image86
      Marisa Wrightposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      I agree I'm waiting for the punchline, but SweetiePie, I have to reply to your comment.

      What's the problem with meeting someone "in public"?  Where do you usually go on a first date?   Personally, I think the anonymous guy you meet in a bar is just as "dangerous" as someone you meet on line, and should be treated with the same caution. 

      Also, the reason online dating is so popular is that the traditional way of meeting people isn't easy, at least not for older women.  We can't go to bars or night clubs on our own, and all our female friends are married and don't want to go with us.  I remember trying evening classes, but there's not much chance to socialise during the class and these days, instead of stopping for a coffee before or after, people arrive at the last minute from work or have to rush home.  That leaves work as the only place to meet someone! 

      I met my partner online and we're still happy four years later.  You can cut down the time-wasting by refusing to indulge in long email discussions and simply agree to meet for coffee immediately - that way, if he's a loser, all you've lost is an hour or so of your afternoon. 

      Sure, you're going to meet a lot of unsuitable guys.  But look at it like this - if you were buying a house, how many houses would you look at before you found the right one?  Isn't finding a husband a bigger investment?  So why aren't women prepared to put in the same amount of effort?

      1. SweetiePie profile image84
        SweetiePieposted 16 years agoin reply to this

        Never went to bars and I always meet in public.  Did not word that so well, oh well LOL.

        1. profile image0
          pgrundyposted 16 years agoin reply to this

          I'm one of those people who met the love of my life through internet dating. My middle daughter married the very first guy she met on and they are so happy--seriously, it really is like they were made for each other.

          On the flip side, I met a lot of sad and weird guys for coffee before I heard from the man I live with. I've thought about writing a hub about it, but it would make me look like kind of a bitch and I'm really not--it's just that some of the guys I met were professional online daters and a few were certifiable insane. I was never mean to anyone I met and I never felt afraid. Always met at the food court at the mall, and once at a local pancake house. I gave myself a three month membership and told myself I'd let it go if it didn't work out. Two days before my membership was up I met Bill and we've been together over 3 years now and we are so happy--we both wonder how life would have been if we'd met when we were young.

          I don't think it's online dating that's dangerous. I think dating is dangerous--and stressful! Even the nice guy from church can turn out to be a serial rapist, we never know for sure what we are getting into--we just take our best guess and take the plunge.

      2. RelationshipGurus profile image59
        RelationshipGurusposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        Hi SweetiePie,

        In regards to your comment above comparing the online dating and the traditional way, there are huge advantages of using the first one.

        Why the Internet dating is the greatest of all other means?

        The advantages are:
        ·    It is quick.
        ·    It is cheap.
        ·    It is simple to use.
        ·    It is fun.
        ·    You can meet thousands of singles in your area
        ·    You can go through their profiles and select only those who you like.
        ·    The online dating is a great place to interact with people and learn interpersonal communication without the fear of face-to-face rejection.

        When you meet a man in a pub/bar for example it will take you maybe one or two hours to understand his background and areas of interests. While searching in an online dating site for the same time you can view hundreds profiles, to see their pictures, to find out about their education, background and interests. Further more when you read their descriptions, see their photos or videos, what they like doing or not, you can have a clearer picture of the other person and to contact only those you feel close.

        Big advantage of the online dating is the way you reject people or been rejected. If you do not like the person who has contacted you, you can simply send him an email saying that you are not interested… While meeting someone in a bar and discovering you do not like him is more difficult just telling him you do not feel the chemistry and sit on the next table…

        Another advantage of meeting people online is that it is LESS dangerous than meeting them for the first time in a traditional way.

        There are new generation dating websites with Video Chat modules that allow communication with near to face-to-face experience. The new websites can have Friends module, where you can date friends of your friends. This is like a guarantee, a basic level of trust.

        However the way of dating (Internet or traditional one) is just the means, but not the real thing. The essence is to achieve a new level of awareness and to understand why we attract certain types of people and why we repeat the same mistakes in a relationship. Our moto is: “Find yourself to find your soul mate.” smile

  3. Misha profile image63
    Mishaposted 16 years ago

    Watch for another newbie to come and post a link to another site that works better than eharmony big_smile

    1. profile image0
      pgrundyposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      I know, is this one of those new people who is a really closet spammer? It seems like there are lots of people like that who come to HubPages but they aren't, I don't know... real!

      You know what I mean?

  4. SweetiePie profile image84
    SweetiePieposted 16 years ago

    That would be funny smile.

  5. Misha profile image63
    Mishaposted 16 years ago

    Well, it is - for the first few times. smile
    Then it becomes kinda boring...

    1. SweetiePie profile image84
      SweetiePieposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      The posted the same message in another forum.  Yeah they are annoying, I agree smile.

  6. Misha profile image63
    Mishaposted 16 years ago

    Yep, yep, Ladies smile

    But we don't know yet. This could be just a frustrated guy/gal - theoretically. Or I might just scared them away big_smile

    LOL Marisa, you beat me to this - so I was replying to Sweetiepie and Pgrundy, not you smile

  7. SweetiePie profile image84
    SweetiePieposted 16 years ago

    I am confused to what happened?

  8. SweetiePie profile image84
    SweetiePieposted 16 years ago


    Thanks for sharing your experience.  I feel I am correct in my assessment online dating can be dangerous, but you are right when you also say that it can be just as dangerous in real life.  I actually elaborated on this later on, but I do stand by my point of view.  My point is valid and so is yours smile.  We are both right smile.  No one is really wrong about this issue, just difference of opinion.

    1. Marisa Wright profile image86
      Marisa Wrightposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      I guess that's why we both picked you up on that statement SweetiePie.  When people say "online dating can be dangerous", most people would read that to imply "in comparison to other forms of dating" and as you say, that's simply not true.  And when people keep repeating that statement, it risks discouraging people who could gain great benefit from it, for no reason.

  9. Misha profile image63
    Mishaposted 16 years ago

    The link does not work sad

    1. Mark Knowles profile image58
      Mark Knowlesposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      Heavy traffic volume broke the site for a while. Once that dies down, it should be back up smile

  10. Eric Graudins profile image61
    Eric Graudinsposted 16 years ago

    In the meantime, you could try this site.
    Unlike Harmony and John West, they never reject anyone

  11. Mark Knowles profile image58
    Mark Knowlesposted 16 years ago


    That is funny. I think I may have "dated" a few of those women. * shudder *

  12. SweetiePie profile image84
    SweetiePieposted 16 years ago

    I thought Mark's comment about that post was funny.  Those people were marketing an out and out ad smile.


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