I never undstood how my father could leave us kids. After mom and him got divorced, he would make trips up to see us for the first year and half. but then things changed, he found another women who also had children but we were excluded even thought he would go every weekend to visit her children. He wouldn't even come up from Sanato , Texas to give me away at my wedding. when i called him and told him i was getting married in three weeks he told me that was not enough time for him to take time off. Which I knew was a lie because he was the district manager of the wilcol appliace center and he traveled all week all he would have needed to do was take off Friday and fly up and he could have flown back home on the same night. The last time i saw my father I was 17 years old and he was bfinging my sister back to my mother because his mother had just passed away and he had to go to new Jersey to help his father. when he first got with this women we were not allowed to know where he lived, his phone number or work number. When he sent my mother her child support check he would black out his address and phone number. I got married and had my uncle walk me down the isle. We had two children both girls,. I would write him and send him pictures of the kids every year. later I found out that he got married in Navada the same year as I did and only 12 day's later. the last few years i was able to work i would call him and beg him to either come up here or let me come down there. I wanted him to meet his grandchildren.He would say that if I or my family and i came down then it would cause problems, but he would never say what problems or with who. He started sending money up for christmas about 10 years ago, when ever we sented him any letters or pictures of our children we had to send it to his work. i know that one of her son's who was older then me lived with them and was in some kind of trouble. One of the last times i spoke with him about coming up he promised tha he would try around spring time , but never did. he also promised me that I would see him again before he died, but once again that didn't happen. He passed away on Feburary 13,2010. My heart acks for him i missed my father for 27 years and will miss him until i see him in heaven. I don't understand why he would go everyweek end to see her kids but never come up here to see his and meet his grandchildren. If you are left by a parent or both parents at some time alway's send letters and pictures of you and your family. Because then if you do then you won't feel like you never tried. You won't be the one who say's this is wrong and i should fix it because you did your best to make amends for the hell your mother and hin went through. Rodney Howard Hansen 03/29/1939 to 02/13/2010
I love you and miss you every day dad I talk to you Just like I do mom and the rest of the family and GOD.
Do you know why he decided to leave you folks ? I generally don't find any explanation for leaving the kids to be meaningful, and strongly believe that people who leave their children behind are merely running away from their own responsibility. However, not all would agree with me. Divorces can be quite painful and some folks just want to forget the whole thing and start over. Maybe he didn't want to be reminded of his old life or his family.
You are surely a wonderful person and tried all that you could to be in touch with someone who didn't love you. Take it as a learning and do all that you can for your children so that they would have no complaints in future. God bless you !
It is sad the things that family can do, but your right, you did try. I am sorry you went through this, maybe you should rewrite this in a hub? I find that sometimes, writing stuff down like this, can help me to feel better. Good luck!!
Sometimes Mom's and Dad's feel so much guilt for what they have done it is easier for them to just run away from the guilt, shame, and pain. He hurt as much as you did. Most likely he could not forgive himself enough to see you without great duress to himself. It is not your fault! You did all you could! All you can do is forgive your dad and pray that one day you will meet up again. You need to move on and you need to know that no matter what he loved you in his own way. The only way that he could!
Love and Blessings,
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