Why does a child ? ? ?

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   quietnessandtrustposted 14 years ago

   I wonder why it is that a child has to be taught...
   
   not to steal, lie, cheat, curse, talk back, hit people, gossip, blame others, interupt, throw things, spit at folks, bite them
   
   ...and on and on...
   
   I just wonder if we all come into this world with a nature that causes us to do these things without thinking and thus have to be taught otherwise.
   
   I am pretty sure none of us are excluded here.
   
   thoughts?
   
   
   P.S. earnestshub might be the only exeption.
   had to toss that in old buddy

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      Whikatposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Deleted
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         quietnessandtrustposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         have you met any child who does not do any of them?
         I agree that not all do all of them, but some?
         are you saying that if a child is taught to not do these things, then they will not?
         or do they resist?
         true, they need be taught right, which I guess is the point, because they do not naturally know what is right.
         
         The inclination to do what is wrong comes without thinking.
         Doing the right thing needs to be taught.
         
         Agreed?

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            Whikatposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I apologize, and will delete my comment. I thought you were looking for an honest opinion. Apparently you are just trying to force your own beliefs and ideas on people. My mistake for falling for the game.

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               quietnessandtrustposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               no game being played here.
               
               I asked an honest question, got a reply, gave a response...
               
               it's cool

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      Woman Of Courageposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hi quietnessandtrust, A child needs to be taught right from wrong. A child will be confused without the proper guidance from his parents. If a child doesn't obey and become rebellious, this will cause he or she to walk into trouble.

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         quietnessandtrustposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I believe a child needs to be taught right from wrong, they do not come here knowing these things.
         
         We spend our lives learning right from wrong and during that time resist doing right.
         
         We seem do be inclined to do wrong I think.
         
         Training a child is a hard task.
         
         Training an adult is a monumental pain in the _____

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            dbg07050posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            We are all born into sin.  That's why we celebrate when a  person dies and cry when a baby is born.  Think about it most of us struggle our whole lives to prove to ourselves and everyone around us we finally got it right! But, I think children are guilty of 1 thing curiosity and not doing wrong---

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               quietnessandtrustposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I think it is true that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and they need teaching to guide them.

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      Jeramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I have had the opportunity for seeing many children in their early years,  Yes some of them come out of their crib hitting and biting yelling and screaming.    But very few.
      
         They are for the most part, sweet and pure.
      
         Children at any age are looking for the boundaries that the adults have established.  Just so they can push against them.  They are taught by their environment and degree of discipline and loving that they receive.
      
        Parents should remember that their purpose is to wisely enter into a process of raising adults that they can enjoy spending time with after the process is completed.
      
         Or they can just raise babies.

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         Whikatposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you Jerami,
         That is pretty much what I was trying to say, but apparently did a poor job of it. which lead to the OP questioning me. I felt he was trying to lead me in the direction of his thoughts instead of letting the discussion flow naturally.
         
         I do not agree that doing "evil" comes naturally and have not witnessed any of my children resist guidance and discipline in the ways that he has described.

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            Jeramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you ...  It has been my experience that children come out of their crib individuals unto them selves.
               Seen a few that acted like the devils spawn.
            And they seemed to become as teddy bears when treated like one, then snap out of that as if they thought I was attempting to trick him into being good.
            
                Children and their behaviors are as individual as snow flakes.
                What we do to them is what they   can   become.
            
               Come to think about it?  Adults can be just as pliable.

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   schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years ago

   I think this is a dumb question but I'll respond anyways.
   
   
   Well, we're not animals, or we would have instincts right?
   
   So we must be apart from the animals.
   
   We are human and created by God as far as I can tell
   and so we have a fallen nature from Adam and Eve.
   
   You got a better expalnation?????

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      quietnessandtrustposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      a dumb question?
      
      mercy...
      
      I asked it to get some responses...that is all...
      and to reply to them.

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         schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Well, what is your opinion?

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      Home Girlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      We have instincts, schoolgirl, and lots of them and we are not that much apart from animals. If it is good thing or bad -  I don't know.

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   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   Your question is subjective.
   
   A child has no clue how to understand it's own conscience. It has to be taught was a conscience is and why they should listen to it.
   
   The heart of a child is pure goodness and it's the world around that has laid down "right" and "wrong" rules.
   
   Everything in the world that belongs to this world is free for everyone to have. It is human beings who place a particular value on specific things, for which, determines- right and wrong.
   
   A child has to be taught about what value to place on things, so as to abide by the rules of humanity. Thus, teaching them about "right" and "wrong".
   
   Most children are not consciously aware of their own conscience.
   
   That's my take on it. Btw- the "category" shouldn't be in religion and beliefs- it should be in parenting of children.

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      schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      hmm your brain is "too big" I'll read this later, too late right now

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      quietnessandtrustposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      sorry I missed categorised it man...oooops.
      ain't been here in a few months...I am homeless.
      
      I hear what you say, and I wonder why at the age of 12 months they want to throw things, hit people, bite, spit, kick, toss their food at you, get dramatic...
      
      I mean really, I find it funny when they do this and yet the women get mad at me for seeing it as such.

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         schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Why don't you give your opinion?
         Where do YOU stand???

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            quietnessandtrustposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I honestly beleive that after 50 years of looking around the world...people / children are more inclined to do evil rather than good.
            
            The older we get, the more of a "FUCK YOU" mentality we get.

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         Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Sorry to hear about you being homeless.
         
         And, to address your post, a child even at 1 year old, isn't consciously aware of it's own conscience.
         
         Again, "right" and "wrong" is based on human values, assigned by a consciously active conscience.

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            quietnessandtrustposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            it seems that even after we are made conscience...
            
            we want to do evil
            
            sorry about speeeeeeling

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               Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               And, you wonder why people have such a hard time believing in a god. Since "god" is suppose to be the power behind consciousness and a human's conscience?

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   rebekahELLEposted 14 years ago

   not necessarily true.  sometimes the inclination to do wrong does come from thinking. we have plenty of evidence sitting in jail cells.  thinking doesn't make an action right.
   
   doing the right thing isn't always taught. we come into the world with survival instincts. a baby sucks for nourishment, otherwise starving. there is the fight/flight response to survive.
   
   children left on their own can adapt but without social contact and instruction would take on animalistic behavior.
   thus, we see this in some children who are neglected or are raised in unnurturing environments.

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      quietnessandtrustposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      the inclination to do wrong comes first...the thinking about how to do it comes second....I have not met one human who has not had to be taught that lying is wrong, stealing is wrong, etc...
      
      jails are full of folks who thought about how to do evil and then secondly made a plan.

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      Baileybearposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think a lot of it is instinct & survival too - being out for no. 1.
      
      Animals bite etc. They steal food etc.
      
      Yes, have seen cases where abused child raised with chickens or other animals - they lack social skillls, thinking etc

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   quietnessandtrustposted 14 years ago

   my computer time is up here at the library

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   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   Wow.  This is a disturbing view of how children come into this world. The following isn't just my opinion:
   
   These are all different behaviors, and not all children engage in all of them.  The short answers are that children's brains aren't mature, so things like impulse-control take time for children to develop.  Children have to learn about everything in the world - positive, negative, and neutral.  It's part of being born a new person and needing to learn about any number of things in life.
   
   Children often steal here or there (when they're young) because they want something and don't have well developed impulse control.  They lie for a number of reasons (sometimes because adults lie and set an example).  Often they lie because they're too insecure not to lie.  They don't want to get in trouble or have parents be disappointed or think less of them.  Children about five years old sometimes lie as a result of their development.  They're sorting out fantasy from reality, and sometimes what is fantasy is seen as "lying" by adults who don't know that.
   
   Not all children curse, talk back, hit people, throw things, spit at folks, and bite them. Those are generally behaviors they see some form of at home (or somewhere they spend time) (except that some toddlers of 1 or 2 may bite or hit for reasons associated with their development).  Some kids live constantly frustrated, so sometimes the littlest ones reach a saturation point with frustration and don't have the emotional maturity to use self-control/impulse control.
   
   Interrupting:  They're enthusiastic about what they have to say and like taking part in conversation.  They aren't being "evil".  It's just a matter of what's polite in social setting.
   
   Cheating is something kids are actually taught to do (through pressure, being taught the wrong priorities, or indifference about cheating in one way or another).  If a kid cheats, gossips, or blames someone else; those are morality/integrity/character-related issues that start learning young but need to work through when their lives get a little more complicated in adolescence and the teen years.  Gossiping is something children (maybe especially girls) do as part of the learning process involved with socialization.  They're learning about being friends, working out differences, experiencing rivalry, etc. etc.
   
   Children don't "come into this world with a nature that makes them do unacceptable things".  They come into this world unequipped to know what is acceptable and what isn't.  They come into this world with brains that won't be finished developing completely until they're in their early to mid twenties (and therefore with brains that, again, aren't equipped to always do the mature, responsible, right, thing under every circumstance they face).
   
   We don't put one-year-olds at the side of a highway, and then if they toddled out and got run over ask, "Why do children come into the world with a death wish?"  We know they're not capable of having the understanding of how to stay safe; or the speed, sense, and development to get themselves across the road safely.
   
   Of the behaviors you mentioned, lying is probably the biggest one kids do.  Stealing under a certain age is another one most kids seem to do here or there.  Toddler behavior doesn't count because they're babies, teething, not yet aware of the impact of something like biting or hitting on someone else. Blaming others is sometimes part of the lying thing (being too insecure to just "own up" to having done something wrong).  Other than those, the rest of the stuff isn't stuff all children do by any means.  If children do that other stuff they do it because they learn to do it from someone in some way - not because they were born with it in their nature and need to learn not to do it.
   
   Children are often amazingly aware of what is right and what isn't.  They can't always do what's right because sometimes they just don't have the maturity.  Heck - a whole lot of adults know what's right and what isn't and can't manage to make themselves do what's right.  How can anyone expect a child to be able to?
   
   In the first three or so years of a child's life how that child is nurtured plays a huge role in how his brain gets wired and develops as a person.  This thread doesn't belong in "religion and philosophy".  It belongs in "family and parenting" and under a "child development" category.
   
   This is a great site for anyone who wonders why children do anything:
   
   http://zerotothree.org/
   
   This page is particularly good (about aggressive behavior):
   
   http://www.zerotothree.org/child-develo … avior.html
   
   Sorry for the over-kill answer here, but - really - the suggestion that children are born with "bad" in their nature is disturbing.

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      Baileybearposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      my son has Asperger's syndrome and is honest to a fault.  He didn't try out lying until he was 6 years old, and was terrible at it - he felt so guilty he kept imagining a giant rock was rolling down the hill to squash him (until he confessed and we talked about it etc).  He is very intelligent, but not as socially "sophisticated" as other children - the "socially sophisticated" have more mastery of things like white lies, manipulation etc.  He tries a few things out when he sees others benefit from it.
      Lying is learned behaviour - children don't lie the moment they can speak.

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         aka-djposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         "Lying is learned behaviour - children don't lie the moment they can speak."
         
         Maybe so. Maybe it is learned, but one thing is for sure, it comes all too easy to lie. I dare say, way easier than being honest, esp if you are likely to get into trouble for it. (telling the truth, that is)

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            Baileybearposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            lying comes easier to some people than others.  I've never been comfortable with lying.  I also find that people are uncomfortable with me being honest.  Same with my son, who blurts out if someone is fat etc (I've had to teach him, that may be true, but it's not a good idea announcing it loudly - might get smacked in the head)

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   Disappearingheadposted 14 years ago

   Gary asked the same question
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56O1XVmEwEU

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