Pay It Forward Anyone?

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  1. profile image58
    needanangel2010posted 10 years ago

    What do you do when you’ve struggled for so many years and there really isn’t any help? I’m a single mother of 4, I am going to school online, I have no family, no friends and no support system and I don’t own a car. I get section 8 and recieve $126 in utility help but my bills are anywhere between $250-$350 a month.We’ve gone without water and electric before, longest time was 3 weeks.I haven't been able to buy them clothes let alone buy them presents. My kids haven’t celebrated any holiday or birthdays in along time, I’ve applied for hundreds of jobs and never recieve that phone call back and getting help from my childrens father isn’t possible.My kids probably won’t see a christmas this year either unless theres a miracle. I’ve debated whether or not giving them up is the best choice for them. I just need a helping hand. I desperately try everyday to remain optimistic and hope a miracle happens. I'm in a bad situation and been everywhere for help, I am at the end of that rope…Where do I turn for help? Any advice?

    1. profile image0
      Brenda Durhamposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Your local church.  Any local Christian-based church should give you some help or a lead to get some help.   And child support agencies, I believe, will give you help if the father won't pay or can't pay....

      Even a call to the local tv station might bring some help, if you're legitimately in such a bad shape and not trying to hoodwink everyone.

      Do you have any friends or neighbors at all who might take you and the children in while you get on your feet?  Or do you live in Section 8 housing too?

      1. couturepopcafe profile image60
        couturepopcafeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

        Brenda - all good advice.  Especially the t.v.  Locals usually step up to the plate when one of their own is in need. 

        I have to assume you are already receiving food stamps and W.I.C.  Most big churches have a Christmas gift program for kids.  Just go and put your name in.  NES has a program for people who cannot afford electricity.  If you are receiving federal student loans for your online education, talk to a counselor about having a living expense per diem taken from your monthly loan allowance.  It's a simple matter of writing down your expenses.  Add everything including clothes for the kids even if you don't spend money on clothes for the kids now.  Fill in all the spaces they ask with some reasonable amount unless it's a potential expense you really don't have, like a boat payment.  Get online to local Kroger's or similar companies and see if they have any community programs.  I know cash is king and you have 4 kids so you really can't leave them.  Bake cupcakes and sell them on the sidewalk in front of your house if you live on a busy street.  Put a sign up explaining that you are single, broke and have 4 kids.  You will often find items with a lot of life left in them in dumpsters or for sidewalk trash pickup.  Clean it up and sell it on ebay.  It's a tough way to go but you can make some cash.  Good luck.

    2. profile image0
      fashionjewelry10posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      You will be surprised how many people are not willing to help unless it is publicized. It is not as easy as selling cupcakes on your lawn. Even that won't bring in enough money for 4 children.

      She needs a real solution and for her to contemplate giving her children should not be and option. Any time someone ask for help people automatically think they just want a free hand out.

      That is not true of everyone. Some people are truly struggling and have work hard just be helpless in the end. No nobody can appreciate anything until they have been there. I know what you are going through.

    3. cobrien profile image70
      cobrienposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Giving up your children is the worst possible thing you can do to them. Your kids will learn important life lessons, like the value of work, living in these circumstances.
      I DO suspect that you are not telling the truth. If you are a single Mom taking online classes, you are eligible for federal and state grants. You are also eligible for other public assistance. Food banks, homeless shelters, abuse shelters and faith based organizations help with Xmas gifts and utility bills. Sometimes thrift stores have new clothes, and the Salvation Army will give you a voucher. So will St. Vincent De Paul.
      If you ARE telling the truth, I suggest you seek out a depression evaluation at your local mental health clinic. Help is out there. If you are a single Mom and not motivated to find the help you need, you probably suffer depression or something similar.
      Good luck.

  2. profile image0
    fashionjewelry10posted 10 years ago

    I understand where you are coming from. Fortunately my family has been there for me now that I have moved  back to Texas . When I didn't have them I went to churches (you don't have to belong to one particular church to ask for help. Even other towns around you.) So you can call as many and find out what days give out clothing , help to pay bills, gas money  and help with Christmas gifts. Salvation Army does the same thing. Call  Women and children shelters that help abused families.

    Ask your utility company if they know of any programs.  Look up Food banks and ask every place you contact where else you can find help because they know other places too.

    Adult protective services give you some resources. Your local assistance office can help you with Doctor appointments  and grocery shopping . They will give you a ride if you make an appointment a day in  advance.  Ask your children's schools they have programs that also help needy families. Contact American Legions facilities.

    Don't give up your babies they will love you regardless and praise you for being there for them no matter how hard the struggle. You can't put a price on love.  Good Luck. … ilies.html

  3. AskAshlie3433 profile image59
    AskAshlie3433posted 10 years ago

    Please don't take this personal. I went through a down time myself. This is what I have learned. Most, if not all of my problems, I caused myself. I was jobless, homeless, broke, no car, with children. I was young as well. I finally learned, if I wanted something, only I could get it. Don't depend on anyone. They don't owe you a life. For years, I felt like the world owed me something. I had family but they didn't care. My mom is dead and my dad never helped. Other stuff was more important to him. It took me losing almost everything before I woke up. When I did, I got off my lazy &%*, and got my life together. I know it must be hard with 4 kids. But here is the thing. Those kids are depending on you and they are yours. They were the choice you made. There is nothing wrong with that. Your online course is a good move. That is a start. When you have no family or friends, it's hard. I know that is the reason you chose online classes, because you have the kids. That is a smart decision. You need to make friends. Just like these hubs. There are others in your situation. You should try to talk to them and maybe they can give you better advice, as far as help from the government. With all those kids, you should be able to qualify for more help. I live in West Virginia. I am sure you need a break. I am so sorry. I wish I could relieve the burden off of your shoulders. I will keep you in my praires and I suggest letting God into your life. Miracles don't happen instantly. Just because you let God in now, don't mean in a month or two, your problems will be gone. But he will watch over you. If you are sincere, he will bless you. I honestly, wish you the best. i am always here to listen. Just don't give up. Your situation will only make you stronger. I am sure you are a good person and deserve so much more. But as you know, we don't always get what we deserve. I am AskAshlie3433. I am here to help, whatever I can do sweetheart. Where do you live? I have friends all over the US. Maybe, this is a sign. You never know. I hope we can become friends. I won't abandon you, I promise.

  4. cobrien profile image70
    cobrienposted 10 years ago

    Keep looking for work. Don't wait for somebody to call you. Call and check back on your applications. It shows you really want the job.
    Most people don't realize that there are grants other than the Pell. There are different federal grants and state grants. Choosing an online college in your own state will save you a lot of money. So will taking your first two years at a community college. Loans are available and you can use your grants to help cover bills.

  5. profile image0
    Home Girlposted 10 years ago

    The best choice for children is to be with their mother through thick and thin, always. They do not need a lot and they are very understanding. All they really need is your love, always. Teach them to be proud of who they are not of what they have. They are YOUR FAMILY, don't you dare ever to forget that!

  6. omoray profile image59
    omorayposted 10 years ago

    Every child needs the father figure to look up to as this builds the confidence to be the gender that he/she is. No child can be said to be complete without both parents in the home for the child needs the influence of either of them at different stages of development through life. Try expose them to a male from time to time and it will surely rub off on them. Don't forget that for it is for the good of the individual being prepared for the society at large.

  7. leahlefler profile image97
    leahleflerposted 10 years ago

    What a tough situation! Is there more housing assistance available in your local area? Many states offer heating assistance programs to help with utility bills in the winter.

    The Salvation Army has a Christmas assistance program, and many churches have food pantries. offers help with housing and rent payments: … assistance

    I wish you the best, and I am sure you will work through this tough time. *Hugs* and well wishes!

  8. LeeWalls profile image59
    LeeWallsposted 10 years ago

    Your plight is very unfortunate but please don't give up your children. It's pretty sad when people can donate money to help an animal but forget about helping their neighbor in need.

    However, why would you take classes knowing you have things to pay and children that depend on you? Get in touch with a counselor who may be able to put you in the right track.

  9. profile image53
    ForYourInfoposted 10 years ago

    The church ,i think can help you.But you know one thing,until you are noticed by anyone you will not get any kind of help.Its the true fact of society.So,you should knock the door of church first.


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