Would you always stop to help if you saw someone in difficultly?
I fell and badly sprained my ankle; I was in obvious pain, limping, clinging to a stone wall and then railings, to make my way painfully slowly down a steep path to where I was staying. Two couples, country walkers, passed me and neither said nor did anything - in a small village where you expect some reaction. Maybe I should have asked but I was amazed; in a city it's different, but in the countryside.....?
I think I would stop to help anyone if I knew they were hurt. I have already in a few cases. Fortunately today many people don't want to get involved in anything, because of Law suits, or crime, or other reasons. I think some times it can be life threatening. Other times not so bad. I know we talked about this in the Social Psychology class and there is the bystander effect, as well as like my professor said it if you're a doctor you have to stay with the patient until they get out of the hospital. So depending on who you are, and what skills you have they don't for various reasons. It's kind of something our society to created itself by filing law suits over those that have helped them. No one wants to go to courst for helping someone. It's a shame, but I think I would regardless if it saves a life. I did that last weekend for a fact saved someone's life. So of course we aren't all that way in this world.
Something similar happened to my boyfriend recently. When we had the big snow storm up here in Washington, he had to walk to a bus stop up a hill by our house because he couldn't drive. He was looking at his cell phone to check for when the bus would be at the stop when a big chunk of ice fell from a tree and hit him. It got his neck and upper back and knocked him to his knees. So many cars passed as well as pedestrians and no one helped.
It's sad but I agree with what HattieMattieMae says about lawsuits and other reasons why people try not to get involved. Whenever I can help someone, I stop and at least try to offer to do something. More often than not, I get denied but at least I asked.
I can't believe that couple just walked past. In a city, you could understand, because there's always an element of mistrust or fear when you encounter those situations. But in a Village, you'd hope that someone would help you. I would stop to help someone if it was obvious if they hurt, or if the person was elderly.
I live in a large city and will usually help a person in trouble if I am on foot or can easily pull over. If not, I will call 911 if appropriate. If the situation may put me in danger, I'll err on the side of caution and call for help. I guess its the first aid certification from my years as a GS leader. (a key thing that we are taught is to always assess the situation before giving aid.) There really is no excuse to ignore a person in distress when carrying a cell phone.
I believe I would if I felt safe in doing so. As a woman, I would if the other person was also a woman or a child, but if it was a man I might think twice...it would depend on what the problem was I guess.
People cease to amaze me these days. They are forever playing dumb when it concerns helping someone but they will be the first to scream hELP! if put in any situation. It's a sad case, but what isn't sad these days....go figure. I witness men and young men see women needing help with their baby carriages in the subway and instead of helping they run along their merry way like like girls instead of helping them. People always are concerned about who will be around or available for them to have a relationship with. i say why wonder, you see the quality of men and people being bred these days. Who cares about whose left, what about the quality of who they are on a whole, i don't care how single they are i wouldn't want someone who is dumb and inconsiderate in my life. Things like consideration, class and manners should exude from folks pores but it doesn't. instead they excel in self centeredness and playing dumb 101, amongst a whole bunch of other silly games.
It is funny that you should post this at this time. Perhaps I should say odd. Today I stopped in my small town to offer assistance and was rebuffed. The person basically told me to mind my own business. I was surprised but did as the person wished.
I do not always stop any more when I am not in my small town.. Back in the day I did. But I am more wary of individuals who are in 'need.' I suppose I have seen too many negative news reports.
It is unfortunate that you were injured and needed help and no one offered it. I wish good things for you today and in the future.
Always is a interesting term to use here. There will be sometimes you just can't help someone for one reason or another.
Definitely yes. And, I am fortunate to find help whenever I needed. Many friends have told me about no one stopping by to help them. I may not stop if others are already there to help. But in a situation like yours, that too in a countryside, it is surprising. You must have felt real bad. My sympathies...
It always depend on situation. For your case, if it is a woman, I would call for another woman's assistance to help. If a man, I will assist him and call for medic to help.
Sometimes it depends on the problem we see. I will help if it is within my means. Also depending on the country laws as I have heard some countries when you help people, you may end up in a lawsuit. So, it maybe better to call for help instead.
This has happened to me as well, and it sure is a horrifying realization: that some people really are selfish b*stards. I'd definitely stop if it wouldn't put me in potential danger, and if it would, I would immediately seek professional help for whoever's wounded or in trouble. We're all interconnected, and are nothing without each other. Some people don't realize this.
In your situation, yes, I would stop and help or at the vert least ask if I could call someone or send someone for you.
But...out in the world, say roadside or on the street, I would be hesitant to step into help someone I didn't know because of possible danger. But I would use my cell phone to call 911 right away.
Stopping to help others is a good idea. I try to help people as much as possible, but certain variables will affect that. If I am on my way to work or an appointment, I will not usually stop to help someone. Aside from that, I decide by the feeling I am having in my stomach about the person when I consider giving someone a ride. I do not judge who I help based on sex, race, or appearance, but if I get a bad feeling deep down, I will not help. Sometimes, you have to put pride and personal judgment aside and hope that God will protect you.
The key word in your question is "Always" to which I might have to answer NO, not always.
So many questions occur to me when I see someone in need of assistance. Questions like; does the person really need help? and am I putting myself in danger if I involve myself in this situation? I often lack confidence that I can provide any constructive assistance and there is also a hesitance in taking over responsibility for a situation; in the moment, you don't know what kind of commitment you are making.
I think those are valid questions and should be evaluated before helping, or attempting to help someone. In a crisis, you can make the situation worse if you do not take the correct actions. This can lead to more problems for the person you are trying to help and complicate the professionals job when they try to resolve a situation. I always remember a saying I heard, "victims don't help victims!"
I do feel I have a responsibility to make sure help is provided to the person in need if I do not feel comfortable involving myself directly. This could be calling the authorities or simply notifying the store manager of the issue.
Having said all that, I have a lot of respect for people who will jump in and help a stranger; they are exceptional people
I would and I have and I would hope others would do the same. This is one of those things that we see slowly disappearing from society these days. People are not as willing to take a chance with a complete stranger for fear of being attacked or robbed or whatever. My training from childhood kicks in, however, and I would have a hard time passing someone by who was in distress.
I definately help if I am in a position to help, but like many have said, I worry about safety in some situations. Using judgment is very important. For example, where I live, as probably everywhere, there are so many homeless asking for money on the side of the road. I don't usually feel good about giving money, but will give food. I had one lady and her teen daughter approach me in a parking lot once to ask for gas money. There was a gas station in walking distance. I told her if she could get to the gas station, I would put $5 in a gas can for her. As I went back to my car, my kids and I saw her speeding out of the parking lot. Obviously the money she wanted was not for gas. Never saw her again. But there are legitimate homeless people who need assistance and are happy for the crackers and water bottle.
I also try to teach my children to help. When we see an elderly man or woman in the grocery store, I often suggest to the kids (the older ones who are 15 and 12) that they help take the cart out to the car or help with groceries. This shows the kids that it's not all about them.
I know I'm not perfect though, and have passed by many opportunities where I could have helped and didn't want to take the time right then.
if I feel the situation is a safe one, I always try to help in some way...
in this day and age there's so much crime and you just can't tell whether the person in distress is really in need or out to hurt you, which is so sad, don't you think? I'm the type of person who would help anyone...but now I find that I have to be careful.
I'd like to think I "always" would but that's probably not true. It would depend on the circumstance. If I were if your situation I too would have been hurt that the couple did not stop to help, but who knows how they saw it from their perspective. Some people are just oblivious to the world around them. How sad it is that we need to be suspicious of people who claim to need help. Wouldn't it be great if we could help each other without worry?
If it was the situation of where someone is injured or something of a similar scale, I would MOST definitely stop and help. It is surprising that two couples - that makes four people did not stop to help you out. The only conclusion I can come up with is either that they are really clueless or just doesn't give a hoot.
Last year on my way to work on the public bus my bus got into an accident when the bus behind rear-ended us. There was a pregnant woman on the bus who was although not injured, but visibly in shock with tears streaming down her eyes. She complained of back ache and and was shell-shocked. Two other passengers and I promptly called for an ambulance and accompanied her to wait for its arrival while trying to calm her down.
I am sorry that nobody stopped and help you out even in the countryside (I live in a city) but I hope you do not lose hope that there are still many good people out there. Perhaps it just wasn't those couples that fateful day. Hope your ankle is better or recovered!
Thanks for the concern expressed in some of the answers. My ankle was x-rayed and fortunately is not broken, though I have badly damaged tendons; should be fine after about a week! My main observation is that people are far less likely to help now than, say, in the 60s or 70s. It's an unfortunate observation of modern society. It seems that particularly in the city people are afraid to help - I can understand that as there are many incidents of fraudsters and shams. My surprise (and shame at being let down by my own compatriots!) was that this happened in a place where country walking is popular and passers-by are usually friendly and helpful - I would put money on these people not being locals. Thanks to all of you for the great response to this question.
In some situations there isn't much you can do to help and you don't know what kind of assistance to offer. That said, I always try to help people in need as long as it's in a situation where I feel relatively safe. I wouldn't stop alone to help a man broken down on the side of the road at night, but I would probably call my husband and ask if he could help.
I think it depends on the person. I live in a suburb area and I feel people are willing to help. Most of the time I am willing to help if I can. I believe in karma and to treat others the way you wish to be treated. Hopefully next time you are out of your element and in need; you will get the help you need out of kindness.
Absolutely. I think I would be wary if it were a violent situation, in which case I would call the authorities straight away and stay near
Yes, if at all possible, I stop and help. Here in Texas, if you have trouble on the highway or anywhere, people stop within minutes. Our state is genuinely friendly, and strangers will help you in any way they can. As others mentioned, I try to be aware of safety concerns, but I will stop if I feel it's safe. Or call for help if I feel cautious.
I'm sorry passersby didn't stop to help you when you had trouble. I can attest that it warms your heart to have a complete stranger reach out to you when you need it.
I do try and help as much as i can. I am a spiritual person and greed had never been a part of me. Mind you, you have to be greedy in this day and age, it isn't a bad thing anymore. But yeah, i have given money away for charitable causes like so many times i forget. Stopping and helping someone in need of help can be doggy sometimes but it wouldn't hurt to ask.
Yes, I almost always stop to help someone in distress, with a few exceptions. I'm sorry that happened to you.
You were limping. I got attacked in a park years ago by a man that was trying to rape me. A guy walked by and I called out for help, but he just nodded at the dude attacking me, as if he was simply having a problem with his woman. I escaped because I refused to simply give in, and fought with him.
Some people just don't want to be bothered.
However, if asked we'd all love to say that we would stop every time, but honestly; in this day and age, and with the fast pace and deadlines everyone lives with-is it truely possible to stop each and every time? I say no. It isn't. Regardless of your good intentions, things happen and emergencies come up, and you don't always have the time, or can afford to stop. In a perfect world, the answer would be yes, but we live in an imperfect world where ignorance runs rampant, and time has limitations.
I have stopped to help when and where I could, and that is the best that I or anyone can do; you assist the most when it is the most conducive to do so.
I do stop and help if i think it's safe to do so but admittedly not every time especially if i'm alone.
It's very sad it's now like this...im also very cautious about helping older people now because they think you are about to attack them so as much as i really want to help I'm somewhat restricted.
I remember when it used to be just a given when you see somebody hurt you go and help but now you have to be so careful! its really sad.
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