Does a sarcastic parent result in a smart mouthed, disrespectful kid?

1. 0

   tHErEDpILLposted 13 years ago

   I just heard about a study that suggests that children who have sarcastic parents are more likely to end up being smart mouthed and disrespectful.  I agree with this study.  As anyone who has kids knows, either consciously or subconsciously they imitate their parents, and in my opinion sarcasm is a personality trait that kids of a certain age cannot fully understand.

   replyreport
   1. 64

      prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Sarcasm is an "art" but while it is an art, it is not nice. (Art in delivering your point)
      
      Family is where the children are first socialized, so you have a point, but when they go outside the house, they will have conflict with others if they apply "sarcasm" spec. if they think that this is the way to speak with others and to get your point deliver.

      replyreport
      1. 0

         tHErEDpILLposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Good answer Pretty, well.  I am a sarcastic person but I did not start using it until I knew how to use it without upsetting people, some people don't like it.  I think it is a 'skill' that takes practice, although some kids can pull it off and come off as cute, many will come off as disrespecting their elders.  Don't know what generation others came from but, being a 80s baby we were taught to respect our elders.

         replyreport
   2. 60

      tony0724posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      In my case my parents were pretty quiet. Smart Ass is just a natural part of my make up.

      replyreport
      1. 0

         tHErEDpILLposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         lol, me too Tony.  I don't know where it came from.  The study said that TV and movies are also an influence, with all the witty dialogue.  Ever seen that movie Juno?  The people who did the study suggest monitoring what young kids watch to prevent this, really?  Shouldn't that be done anyway?

         replyreport
   3. 62

      kcreeryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      There is definitely a better chance that the kid will be disrespectful or sarcastic.  The kid may not know any better because their parents may encourage the behavior.

      replyreport
      1. 0

         tHErEDpILLposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Yes kcreery, my sentiments exactly.

         replyreport
   4. 69

      Pearldiverposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Clearly you have never had or sired SCORPIO Kids!  
      
      Sarcasm to most Scorpios is a natural response to stupidity!
      
      Take that from a Scorpio

      replyreport
      1. 64

         Greek Oneposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         exactly..
         
         it is a high form of communication which delivers the point being made with a sharp pen

         replyreport
         1. 69

            Pearldiverposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Shhhsssshhhhhh... Feed the Peasants!

            replyreport
         2. 75

            Mighty Momposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Good point about Scorpios!
            Although I am a Taurus and his dad was a Sagittarius and he is an Aries,
            I required my son to sharpen his tongue at least 20 minutes a day.
            I'd like to think I engrained in him the importance of being sound of body, mind and wit.

            replyreport
            1. 72

               Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Hey Mighty Mom? Always nice to see you, but I have to ask...
               
               How did YOU of all people managed to teach anyone wit?

               replyreport
               1. 75

                  Mighty Momposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  Read carefully, my friend.
                  Nowhere did I claim to have taught anyone anything.
                  I said I tried to impress upon my son the importance of being sound of mind, body and wit.
                  Trust me. When it comes to parenting -- and wittiness -- I know my limitations!

                  replyreport
                  1. 72

                     Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     What part do you not understand about the words "impress upon"? It's the same as teach.
                     But, that still doesn't answer the question- How you could teach and/or impress upon your son wit, when you have none to begin with?
                     
                     I do hope I cleared up what I was saying.

                     replyreport
                     1. 75

                        Mighty Momposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                        That is concerning.
                        If we can only teach that which we actually have ourselves, then our children are doomed to know less than we do, and their children less then they do.
                        
                        I also impressed upon my son the importance of being a good man (aka a "stand-up guy").
                        Another  clear case of overstepping my maternal bounds.
                        Poor kid.

                        replyreport
                        1. 72

                           Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                           What's wrong Mighty Mom? Did you forget the topic? Sarcasm?
                           
                           Just pulling your leg smart a$$.

                           replyreport
2. 84

   Deborah-Dianeposted 13 years ago

   Sarcasm either produces sarcastic kids or insecure, depressed ones.  I know, because I work with teenagers and this seems to be the affect on many of them.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      tHErEDpILLposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting and experience driven answer from a professional in the child care field, thank you.

      replyreport
3. 72

   Cagsilposted 13 years ago

   Whatever the parent shows to the child, will be picked up by the child, as being okay to do. Should it remain consistent through the child's growing, then it will be ingrained in them to do it.
   
   The only time that isn't true, is when you have a more positive influence in the child's life, during that same period of time. The negative aspect delivered by the parents can be circumvented by the positive influence. The child is sure to learn the difference between the two and making a conscious choice, which path they go.
   
   Just my thoughts.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      tHErEDpILLposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Finally an answer I like from you Cagsil, just kidding.  Seriously though, I agree.

      replyreport
4. 88

   Stacie Lposted 13 years ago

   there's a fine line between sarcasm and verbal abuse...some kids can go either way..

   replyreport
   1. 0

      tHErEDpILLposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      true

      replyreport
5. 59

   Beelzedadposted 13 years ago

   Aren't the vast majority of tv sitcoms based on sarcasm?

   replyreport
   1. 0

      tHErEDpILLposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Good observation Bee, the study also suggested monitoring what young kids watch for exactly that reason.  I like the way you think. 

      replyreport
6. 62

   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   I'd think it makes a difference if the sarcasm is directed at the children, or is about other things in life.  Children who are spoken to with respect tend to speak to others (especially those who treat them with respect) with respect.  Parents who are "fresh" to their kids do get kids who learn that "that's how everyone talks to everyone else".  I never spoke in sarcastic tones to my kids.  On the other hand, one of the things that makes them laugh is that I've often been sarcastic about someone else.  Lightening the mood by trying to be funny, and make kids laugh, is important for parents to do too.  The stuff/people I've been sarcastic about is always stuff/people that I know my kids would think is "stupid" (or otherwise negative) already, so I've guessed I've used sarcasm in that situation as a way of letting my kids we need to see the humor in some situations or people's (including my own) "stupidity".  Being "that kind of sarcastic" is a matter of having children "in on the joke" - not the brunt of meanness and/or "being spoken to like dirt". 
   
   There's a difference between funny sarcasm about other people or a situation and the kind of mean, demeaning, disrespectful, sarcasm some parents direct at their kids.  Whenever I see someone using that rude kind of sarcasm AT their little kid of, maybe, four or five; I'm always fairly certain it's only a matter of about three/four years before their verbally downtrodden little kid starts mouthing off at them or else giving them "smart-mouthed" answers.

   replyreport
7. 64

   Greek Oneposted 13 years ago

   ya right, suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure

   replyreport
8. 61

   Disturbiaposted 13 years ago

   My girls grew up with sarcastic banter in the house and I think it's made them quite witty.

   replyreport
9. 81

   CJ Andrewsposted 13 years ago

   I would have to disagree with the study.  I am very sarcastic in life, but I am not vicious and overly demeaning.  I will say that sarcasm is somewhat demeaning, but there are also limitations to be shown and timing to be judged.  If a parent can't show these items to their children as well - the parent should probably keep their thoughts to themselves.  Disrespect is shown by children because they are not shown that there are limitations and/or what those limitations are.
   
   I wasn't aware that sarcasm was something new this generation.  For some reason I thought it has been around for a long time.

   replyreport